I am a 29 year old man, my fiance is 28, we've been daing for 2 years and are getting married in a year (just got engaged last night!!) We are both virgins (feel free to laugh, I understand :-) being 29 and all ha ha) and we plan on staying that way until our wedding night (her wishes that I've chosen to respect).
Anyway, I have a couple honest questions:
1)Even tho I know she has nothing to compare me to, I still want it to be good and satisfying for her. Is there anything I can do to practice to help me last longer? I've heard there are "drills" so to speak when a guy "pleasures himself" that he can do that makes him last longer although I dont know what they are. Any advice?
2)What position(s) do you recommend? What have you found to be the most passionate/intimate positions? I really want our sex to mean somthing, you know, be more than just raw sex. I want it to be a man / woman, husband / wife bonding experience. Also, if it matters, im 6 ft tall and she's only 5 ft 1 inch
2007-02-17 06:38:55 · 12 answers · asked by bobby f 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Congratulations on your engagement! About being a virgin..a couple of things.
First, because you are both new to it, and you are choosing to wait until the wedding night you will both probably be stressed out and tired. Be aware of that, and the effect it might have on your first time.
Secondly, try not to put too much pressure on yourself to make everything "perfect". The first time rarely is perfect. But it will beautiful. There is something very romantic about going about things the way you have.
Lastly, as far as positions go, I would opt for good, old fashioned missionary position. (You be on top). I think this is a classic for a reason and not only can it be incredibly hot, it also has the added benefit of making your new bride feel connected to you and loved.
Don't worry about the height difference, especially for missionary position. You can experiment later with different positions and what will be comfortable for you both.
Oh, and after wards, you're gonna wanna pass out. But...if you can manage to stay awake for 5 minutes and hold her and tell her how much she means to you (this might seem redundant to you, since you just MARRIED her, but trust me, she will love you for providing validation not only that you love her, but that she is an amazing lover as well)
So...relax, enjoy yourself and congratulations again!
2007-02-17 06:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by arwens_curse 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I think it is absolutely wonderful that you two are waiting until you are married to have sex. That is a long wait. You both must have the most amazing self control. And congrats on making it to the 5% of people who wait. That is quite an accomplishment.
I wish I had waited until I was married. It is such a special thing. But thinking back to my first time, and also thinking back to my wedding night, I'll be honest with you. My first time was special because it was my first love and I did marry the guy. I know you want to be good, but think of it this way. She's not going to really know what "good" is. It's really great that she is a virgin too, because you both can learn together, and you don't find that too often. I'm sure it will not last a long time, because that is a lot of buildup. Just make sure you go slow and have A LOT of foreplay. Even if it only lasts a minute, you have the rest of the honeymoon to make up for that, and you will. (And the rest of your lives on top of that)
On a good note, on my wedding night, I was so incredibly tired that I didn't want it to last a long time. There was such a build up of excitement about the wedding, and it really exausts you, especially the bride. So the night after your wedding night, when you've had a good night's sleep and all the tension has died down, that will be the best night to pull out all the stops.
I'd reccommend missionary for your first time, because it is very intimate and doesn't require a lot of skill. You don't want to be trying all kinds of crazy positions for your first time. You will pick that up as you go along. You will find a way to work through the height difference. It may just require some shifts and adjustments, but trust me, it will work.
And have a wonderful wedding. Good luck. Congratulations.
2007-02-17 07:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by queenB 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with missionary position for your first time on your wedding night...it's a standard, the eye contact is very intimate and it's hard to completely screw up. If you feel like you're going to *** too soon, slow down, pull out, do math problems in your head or any combination of the above. Take at least half an hour for foreplay so she can get ready, use plenty of lube if needed and GO SLOW!! I can't stress this enough. If she's a virgin and her hymen is still intact it could be extremely painful for her. She'll let you know when you can speed up. Other than that, relax, follow your instincts and good luck!
2007-02-17 07:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
congratulations on your engagement! And I admire your desire to respect her wishes. Sex is something very important to a relationship and going in woith no baggage gives you a great advantage (believe me!)
I am going to steer you to a Web sie that my wife and I have discovered to keep our sex life "fresh." Some of the content may be objectionable to some people, but it is for couples. You may wish to visit it on your own at first and then decide if you would like your fiance to visit with you.
www.freddyandeddy.com has advice on all you ask about, including a guide to sexual positions...which anyone else prefer have nothing to do with you...but from my personal experience, I feel closer to my wife when we make love facing one another, of which there are many, many enjoyable positions.
As far as a pre-marital "workout," you can increase your staying power through masturbation exercises and kegels. When masturbating, get yourself just to the point of ejaculation and stop. If necessary, squeeze the base of your penis HARD, then slowly work your way toward climax again. As for the kegels, find the muscles that you would use to stop the flow of urine and work on squeezing them several hundred (yes, hundred) times a day. You can do this at your desk, while you're driving, watching tv, having dinner and no one is the wiser. Work your way up to the hundred. This will allow you bear down during intercourse to stop ejaculation, or at least control it a bit. Good luck!!!
2007-02-18 16:53:14 · answer #4 · answered by robertm220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can help you with positions...to start, use missionary because:
a. You want to look into her eyes and her yours the first time you share that moment.
b. Since it is your first time, you will need force and gravity to help guide yourself in.
c. Being on top is a lot of responsibility for a 1st time girl...you should take on the responsibility.
d. Lastly...height is not a big deal. when you lay down it all matches up. ;) I am only 5 ft and I have never had a problem.
OH and the first time is never good from what I have experienced and others too. Don't stress about the enjoyment...just use foreplay for her before the actual act.
2007-02-17 06:56:04 · answer #5 · answered by H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First congratulations for wanting to remain a virgin until after the wedding ceremony!
1.Take your time and put HER pleasure first. The more you masturbate, the less likely you will enjoy vaginal sex. Why? Your mind and body are used to the results you get from manually pleasuring yourself and will expect the same when you make love (I hate that phrase HAVE SEX) with your lady.
2. Try letting HER take over and ride you. That way she can control her sexual feelings. Plus, for those times you are a bit tired, but she's not, you really don't have to exert a lot of energy. The second way is 'doggie style.' By entering her from behind, the tightness is greater and you can go deeper, while she can touch herself from underneath.
Don't forget a lot of foreplay DURING THE DAY...letting her know you care by doing the 'little things' during the day. My wife's girlfriend told my wife she found ME sexy (I'm 60, with thinning hair, overweight, with a grey/white beard)when she'd come over and I'd be doing the dishes (go figure). If you come home and start demanding things, kick having some loving out the window.
ALWAYS put HER first.
(Married ove 38 years and still getting loving!)
2007-02-17 08:51:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Congratulations Bobby..you two are rare people to still be virgins at your age...amazing.
As for your question about positions..i personally think the most intimate position is facing each other...best way to start this in the old missionary position then roll over to your sides...you are very close to each other...can look into each others eyes...and you are both free to still fondle each other.....
hope your life together is very happy & all you expect.
2007-02-17 08:31:51 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, nobody can answer this question for you. The first time will be quick (it always is), but once you and your wife get to know each other's bodies better, sex will come naturally as you understand each other's needs. All I can advise is to be gentle on your wedding night. Good luck to the two of you.
2007-02-17 06:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
congrats on youre engagement anyway when the night og youre weding comes u may feel norveous having sex 1st time but later u will feel relaxed and if u are so unsure of it go to a sex club and take a hoe and u know u will se how it feels
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2007-02-17 07:10:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋