Could you please tell me if this would be rude?

Question

I've started to go to this one place ona regular basis. 99% of the people there are very nice. There's this one guy in particular whose very nice but new to the people that I know. Last time I was there someone asked me if I thought he was gay, my reply was I don't know & I don't really care he's a nice guy & that's all that matters to me. Well I just got back from the 7-11 where I saw someone else that I knew who asked me the same question. I got a bit annoyed & said I don't know & I don't care but if you're that curious ask him. She said no I couldn't do that, that would be rude. After I left I thought it couldn't be anymore rude than questioning him behind his back. Am I wrong? I'm straight but if someone asked me if I was gay I wouldn't be insulted, but sometimes I'm told that I lack couth

Da ben I think you have a very good point. He is a gorgeous guy

It's been getting to me so I called the woman to find out why she needed to know if he was gay & da ben was right she & another lady want to know if he's available. It turns out it was a comment that I made to them that made them question him. When he first started coming someonemade a comment about how gorgeous he was & I said all the good men are either married or gay & they found out he wasn't married, so I'll take the blame & I'm sorry

Answer 1

It could be viewed as too personal a question to ask. I mean, really , it isn't anyone's business what type of sexual preference someone has unless they choose to tell you. I think that she is really interested in him. By asking him if he's gay---she indicates that she is really interested in him sexually.That's the uncouth part---'do you wanna have sex with me'? That's all. What I think anyway.

Answer 2

If someone is out already, and you ask, they'll have no problem telling you. They might want to know why you're asking (because really, why should anyone care unless they're expressing romantic interest?), but they'll tell you. If they're not, then they won't tell you no matter what. You might cause them some stress "where did I slip up? Why are they asking me?", but in the end things will go on as they normally did. And if the person is straight, they SHOULDN'T be offended, but many will be. If they're offended, it's because they hold the attitude that gay = bad. If they truly have no problem with gay people, then they should have no problem gently correcting someone and moving on with their life.

Answer 3

You are not wrong. Whoever wants to know if your friend is gay should just come out and ask him instead of pondering the idea behind his back. Furthermore, what does being gay have to do with anything? Knowing or not knowing is not going to make or break the people who are questioning his sexuality.

Answer 4

I think that's rude for them to be inquiring as to his orientation. yes, I think that is like the rudest thing in the world, even more rude than spitting on the sidewalk. More rude than slamming a door in someone's face.
Next time say "Ya know what, I will ask him for you, in fact, I will say "Hey Bob, I saw Lulu at the 7-11 last week and she wanted me to ask you if you were GAY". "
Or you could ask them "why, do you want to go out with him?" esp if it's a guy asking. Sheesh...HATE THE RUDESTERS!

I think they'll get the hint.
Yuck. Hate rude people.

Answer 5

You are right, gossiping behinds one back over any subject is rude. You answered however the right way. Do not get involved. If they want to know then they should ask themselves. The reason that they do not is that they know it is a rude question. They know that they would leave themselves open to a very embarrassing and humiliating situation in regards to his response. If he thought the public should know his sexual preference then he would let it be known

Answer 6

HI THERE WELL I think some gay people if u ask them would tell u in a bold way yes others would not want to be know that they are gay. Do not be a persons friend cause u or any one wants to know thier personal life. no one is asking for thiers? if u really like the person just be their friends in this time of years they need our support. it's not good to dig in for others curiosity. your answer towards those that ask u was correct let them ask themself . many gay /lesbian people are very good heart to understand and care for as freinds they would give thier life for a caring freind they do have straight friends as well we must and can not judge them for whom they are that is between them and GOD.

Answer 7

you're right about it being more rude to ask ''is He gay?'' behind his back.

But...I'm straight too YET i would be terribly embarrassed if someone especially a woman asked me if i was gay.

This may not be the most intelligent stance, but i think the first case is only worse because i feel that the persons that were asked if i was gay would because of that, begin to think or wonder if indeed i was gay; Even though they may have never thought of it before.

Answer 8

I agree with you. If they want to know, they should ask. One person asks another "Is He Gay" and a few minutes later you'll hear someone else say "I heard he might be Gay". Rumors are rude. If they want to know, let them ask. There are appropriate ways to ask if they think about it. If it isn't worth the effort to be polite about it, it isn't worth the effort to know.
If they ask you again tell them that you've never really thought about it because it doesn't matter to you.

Answer 9

Talking behind a person's back is rude. Asking a persons sexual orientation is personal, so you should know someone before asking. If they choose to tell, then you will know, unless you get close enough to ask them..

Answer 10

They are being rude and its not polite to go around asking people if they are gay if they want you to know they'll tell you