not going to change his mind and I am not going to change mine either.We are not compatible sexually .He wants to all kind of bizzare acts and I do Not want too.Please help me .
2007-02-17 05:22:18 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did he think after marrying you - ALL OF SUDDEN - you would want to do crazy acts in bed. That man knew how you were before he married you - its wrong of him to try and change you. If he doesn't like it - oh well - move on buddy! He either needs to get over it and accept it or leave. If he does leave b/c of something so trivial - something is wrong with this man. NEVER SACRIFICE YOU MORALS/VALUES FOR SOMEONE ELSE!! You will never forgive yourself or him.
2007-02-23 01:08:55 · answer #1 · answered by kajungirls 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do b/c you want to, if you wouldn't you would have more self discipline and just wouldn't do it anymore unless you have a certain mental condition in which you need meds. and counseling for. It is just as easy speaking the truth then coming up with a lie, actually you use more energy comin up with lies then you do telling the truth. If you keep it up it isn't going to matter anyway you'll end up divorced. As soon as you lie and realize it correct it by telling the person you lied to the truth keep doing this till' you no longer lie, doesn't it embarass you!? It is also possible that when you were younger no one said anything to you about your lies and therefor it was not corrected. Now living this way it is just habit and like they say old habits die hard, you know nothing else, no other way or any better, so try harder. All three of my step children lie but it is obvious none of them can do it well and it is written on their faces and there's no sence in arguing with someone like that b/c you'll only get more lies and a huge argument if you confort them anyway so I just walk away. It is to the point we believe nothing anymore so when they ask for money we don't give it to them b/c it's a lie of why their asking to begin with...!!!! I feel bad for the grandchildren b/c this is what they know how to do best now and your children will be the same way... It is really messed up when they lie and 6 mos. to a year later tell the truth but their dad &/or I have not forgotten the lie... I just as well not be around them for these reasons right here for the same way you are being, I never bring up a conversation b/c all I'll get is lies anyway so why try I don't want to talk to someone that is continually lieing what is the sence? It doesn't mean I don't love them but it is hard finding out what I do love about them b/xc everything is based on a lie and it is very difficult trying to get to know someone of this nature. Honestly lieing is not your problem, your problem is that you are used to getting your way and saying what you want, when you want, no matter who it hurts. You always have been this way and you are the only one that can change this about you. It's time to grow up and be the mature adult that you are stop "acting", being damatic and your lies, just stop, it's that easy. You can chance it if you want and if it means getting help to change it then get the help! It really is that easy!
2016-05-23 22:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First ask yourself do you love him unconditionally? If that factor is in place than the marriage is worth saving.In a marriage, you guys should not have a problem talking about certain things and getting a clear understanding of what each other is coming from. Yeah i agree most woman are not down with alot of things that men want us to do(anal, threesomes, orgies,with another girl,or other bizarre things, unless your into that)but at the same time I do believe If men knew how to approach the subject in a gentle, exotic way for the most part we would be down with just about anything. But maybe go to counseling or they do have couple's camps that have instructors to help you in your sex life and help you guys find ways to have a hot, passionate sex life that the both can enjoy!! good luck.
2007-02-17 05:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is didn't you know that he was like this before you marry. Now I can't imagine what he wants you to do. But if it doesn't involve acts with animals or another person, I would say go for it and you might just enjoy it. The lack of s!x in a marriage is in the top 5 reasons why couples divorce. You don't know unless you try it.....what could be so wrong with one time.
2007-02-17 05:26:39 · answer #4 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have children, yes, you can go ahead and get divorced, because you want a partner that is someone besides the one you married. Perhaps you feel cheated, that he has a side to him you didn't know about when you walked into the marriage. That's fair, letting him go will allow you both a chance to find a partner that suits both of your interests better. If you have children, I strongly suggest compromise, because the children need their parents with them as they grow. This is a tough position to be in, because you both have needs that conflict with eachother. Don't denigrate his needs, though, they are just a part of the way he was programmed. Good luck.
2007-02-17 05:31:42 · answer #5 · answered by Paul 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes it is a very good reason to get a divorce if your husband wants you to do things that are bizzar acts gal for ery good grounds for a divorce 1oh1and if you arent sexually compatable gett your divorce dear for sure im pretty sure what he wants you to do and me as a guy i dont care for that kind of stuff other men make you ladies do that you dont to do either can you send me and email i would love to talk if you would like to have a good friend ok and thank you and very good luck
2007-02-17 05:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by haroldgardner62002006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being sexually incompatible is just as serious as any other incompatibility between two people. And since you're adamant and in his own way, he's adamant....then you have a stalemate...couples therapy may help....
But I also have to wonder...how much did you know about his sexual desires and appetites before you were married? To me that seems just as important a disclosure as anything else before such a step as marriage is taken.....and would it be acceptable for those "other" desires to be fulfilled outside the marriage?
You deserve a partner as healthy on all levels as you are....and only you know how best to achieve that for yourself...
Good Luck!
2007-02-23 00:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by pentora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is sexually appropriate in a marriage has to be agreed on by the 2 persons involoved and no one else. Since you are 1 of those persons, it's my opinion that your husband is wrong in this case.
If you are "God fearing" as your name states, please pray about this. God can give you a divine solution to this dilemma that nobody on this blog could come close to! He cares about every hair on your head (Numbers) and "His eye is on the sparrow", so we know that he cares about every little detail of our lives. Talk to Him---He is a God we can do business with, about anything and everything ... (otherwise He wouldn't be much of a God!)
All the best to you.
2007-02-17 05:29:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I often have a similar conflict in interests when it comes to a sexual desires. But we are still happily married.
It comes down to respect for one another. If you can both respect one anothers feelings and come to a sort of compromise, you can have a very fulfilling marriage.
I would also suggest you read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and/or THe Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage. Both by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
2007-02-17 05:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by Raising6Ducklings! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
only grounds i see is for infidelity since thats not the reason then you should not get a divorce unless you don't love your husband or if he abuses you just tell him you don't want bizzare acts in sex
2007-02-17 05:29:18 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋