I'm gay but i have serious discomfort being around feminine gay people. I'm in college and i'm not out of the closet but i want to be. thing is i'd like to start by attending the gay students club in my school but I hate to go in there and be surrounded by men behaving like female carricatures and even worse, it be uncomfortable meeting these feminine acting guys outside of the club with other people looking on. How do i get over this distaste!
2007-02-17 05:10:43 · 14 answers · asked by puzzlite 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you feel this way about them, is it because they intimidate you in some way, or you're afraid they might hit on you and you wouldn't know how to say "no"? Maybe you could try to have some of these men as your friends and get to know the person they are inside, instead of judging them by their mannerisms. Eventually, you'll come to realize that they are just like everyone else, feminine-acting or not, and you will come to appreciate and accept them as they are, hence get over the discomfort being around them.
2007-02-17 05:22:16 · answer #1 · answered by xander 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can say that I relate to your story. I came out my freshman year in college. Took a little bit of getting use to. I wanted to join the groups and find more friends like me. Except, I didn't want to have those friends who were feminine. It's been about five years now that I have came out and to this day I still don't like feminine guys. I don't like hanging out with them, nor being around them.
I'm not saying that its wrong for them to be be that way. It's not their fault, it's just the way they are, nor is it your fault that you aren't comfortable being around them. It's who you are. I have found lots of masc gay guys to hang out with. Although, I find most of my friends being straight.
How do I deal being around them? Well, I just realize it's who they are and it just comes with being gay. I do find that if you get a guy that is really feminine away from other guys, "sometimes" not all they calm it down a bit.
So how do you get over it? You don't. you will always have your preferences and what you like and what you don't like. although, you will become more accepting to who they are.
2007-02-17 07:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Joe P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people don't like hanging around with effeminate gay boys. Treat them the way you would treat any person you wouldn't like to hang around with: keep your distance. Don't be ruder than you have to be, but don't be super nice either. They will get the hint. Also keep in mind that some use this 'flaming' behavior as a shield, so that in their boldness they can take on people who lash out at them for being gay.
2007-02-17 11:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by roxusan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! You need some counciling on accepting yourself as a gay man....gays need't "act" like anyone but what they feel at the moment if it is not hurting anyone else...camping is funny. Get a grip! If you want everyone you are around to act straight, go back into, or stay in your closet and leave it at that...it is your life, not ours. If you really want to come out, then come out..big deal! If you dislike being gay, then read, get help. It would be criminal to lead your life disliking yourself. Good luck
2007-02-17 06:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I first started to hang with gay friends i also was uncomfortable with some of the more feminine ones, you will find these feeling will subside the more comfortable you are with yourself. Also, you probably are into a more butch type of guy.... doesn't mean you have to be best friends with every gay guy you meet..... You know what they say....... "If you like every gay guy you meet, you haven't met enough of them".
2007-02-17 05:21:49 · answer #5 · answered by PNSGUY 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just look at them as clowns. It's not to be mean to them, it's just so that you will find it humorous. Everybody likes to be around things they find funny, eventually, you;ll get over that feminine acting aspect and see the person inside. Who is probably a really great guy.
2007-02-17 05:36:00 · answer #6 · answered by ron s 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmm I don't know how to help you get over it, but we're really not that bad. I personally am bisexual and love make-up, nail polish, tight-fitting clothes, etc. and my #1 objective is not to do anythign to discomfort others. However, I won't compromise my personality to do so lol. Most of us are really nice; we just have personalities comparative to exaggerated girls.
2007-02-17 05:15:34 · answer #7 · answered by guitarherofairy 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well i am also gay and i wont lie i am some what Flamboyant!! But my one gay Friend is really butch and use to hate girly gays like my self but he just had to hang out with me and other gays and he learned to be more accepting!
2007-02-17 05:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by zacharybordas 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you are who you are i kind of like feminine men alot of times there the life of a party so to speak me and my husband are straight acting gays
2007-02-17 07:53:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you have been brainwashed by society and taught that men aren't "supposed" to be girly.. but is there really anything wrong with feminine characteristics? i think loving , sweet, sensitive, emotional, nurturing characteristics make for a great person.. try to change your views and give these people a chance..
2007-02-17 06:17:42 · answer #10 · answered by Jeff 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋