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and i wish i wasnt..weve fallen out alot in the past.. im 29 theres been periods in my life where he wasnt there, and at that time i was suffering severly psychiatrically. ive never really had any happy times and cannot remember the happy times i had. today im still battling with severe psychiatric problems alone in my own flat. my life hasnt turned out the way ive wanted it to. ive never had a nice girlfriend. never formed any friendships. have a very low self esteem. dont own my own home. i dont live where i wanna live. i wanna break away from where i know, and build my own life, find that special somebody to..emmegrate to..but how im gonna get there? i havent got a clue an i despair..i have alot of recurring paranoid ideas like are 'people' or somebody, preventing my life from turning out the way i want it? the way i want my life to go? interfering with my life in someway? blocking me from achieving my goals? i dont have any concrete ideas who could be responsible. but what i do

2007-02-17 05:02:04 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science Psychology

know is that my lifes a mess. and i really struggle with my mental health. i still have an uncertain diagnosis. and this has been going on since 16. so its making me come to the opinion my lifes being controled or interfered with...sometimes i suspect my dad and people he could be connected to.. he said to me yesterday when i phoned him after the crisis team had been out to see me, because i was in a rut, ive socially isolated myself. and he said to me,' well youll have to tell me what there gonna do then next week'....and i thought, no. i dont have to tell you anything. its my life. you have no control over me..if i was to find out he was interfering with my life..id lose all respect for him. and id disect him from my life...i hope this is just paranoia. does anyone else have an opinion about this?

2007-02-17 05:08:59 · update #1

if he is controling my life and is responsible. i will dedicate my life to fighting his a**ss all the way. because its unforgivable..i will take him down

2007-02-17 05:16:00 · update #2

9 answers

Please get therapy. You may need to take medicine to help you.

2007-02-17 05:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0 0

First and foremost, you need to make sure you psychologist knows you are having a hard time dealing with things and maybe he should change your meds.
1st. Get a piece of paper and make 3 columns
2nd. Write down in 1 column things you want to achieve within the next 2 years, short term goals.
3rd. In the next column write down what is preventing you from achieving that goal.
4th. In the last column write down what you need to do achieve that goal.
Here is an example
Name each column
1. problem 2. What’s preventing me 3. Possible solution

Problem:
I need to move

What’s preventing me?
No money to move.

Possible solution
Find a better job or
gain the skills I need to
get a better job, maybe going
back to school, short term classes.

Problem
I don’t have a girlfriend
or other friends.

What’s Preventing Me?
I don’t get out to meet people.
I don’t put myself Out There.

Possible Solution
Join local clubs, organizations, volunteer.
Join a gym, go to church, get a dog and take
daily walks in the park. Get myself out there
so I open the opportunity to meet people.

You can do the same thing for long-term goals too
Like buying a home, own you own business, lots of stuff.

I hope this helps
P.S. If your father is bringing you down, then you need to avoid him. Tell him how you feel and that it’s not helping YOU for him to be so domineering. Take the stand and follow your dreams.
Also, I tried to format this in columns, but it wouldn't show up that way on the preview.

2007-02-17 13:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You are the one responsible - you are the only one with control in your life. Granted, if you have psychiatric problems, real ones - that will limit what you are able to do. Start small. Make a friend. Take a class or join a club and be friendly to the other people. Don't burden them with your problems, just chat about things you enjoy, tv, books, movies, gardening - whatever. Invite them to lunch. Do positive things for yourself. Stay away from negative people including your father. You are 29 - be a man and stand on your own feet. You have a spine!! Use it. Good luck!

2007-02-17 13:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by Nora P 2 · 0 0

well, you said it best its not the life you want do not let your father or anyone else for that matter hold you back from who you want to be, if you dont accept the fact that you will never get to where you want to be unless you make the decision to leave the old life behind and start over. you need to let go of the past and concentrate on the future i know first hand how difficult it is however your future depends on it and when you finally start to be happy with your life and where its heading you will feel wonderful.
i was irresponsible and felt that i cant achieve the success i wanted because of how i grew up. but ive changed my ways and have come to the realization that if i want to be somewhere else nothing is gonna stop me i gave up my past and went for the future. i am still fighting my demons but as long as you keep in mind that you have to do what makes you happy and you take it day by day you can overcome them.

2007-02-17 13:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Sorry to Hear that. B. I think that you should definitely enjoy life that is partially why you are here (alive) You should take that first step today or perhaps soon to explore what it is you like or would like to do, this is your time to find yourself, find someone who will love you for you, be your equal, start a family, travel you beautiful places. There is a world outside of your Father, you can let him know that you love him and it seems to me that you have been showing that you love him by always being there now it is time to get some of that time back and dedicate it to having fun!! 29 isn't old!! I think that he is stopping you because he knows that he can and that you will always be there, sometimes you have to stand up to be heard and get what you want!! If you take this step towards liberating yourself your Blessing will come TENFOLD!!! Hope this Helps!!

2007-02-17 13:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by Breann 5 · 0 0

I dont think you are really depressed. I think you pity yourself too much to even try making a start for yourself. Depression is easy to say but fighting is what makes you stand in life. You dont have to blame anyone. Just blaming them makes your life worse. Stand up for yourself. Look at the poverty in most countries. See what worse is there. Then count your blessings. You say you fell in love on cam. Since when does true love happen on cam? First love yourself. Love life. Make it happen by starting from bits and pieces. I am sure you dont have something lethal. You just need to make an effort by finding the people who love you. They can make life better. Start being with them and spending time with them. Friends, family and the same.

2007-02-19 10:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by MafiaGal 4 · 1 0

Well, first of all my sympathy to you. If you prefer mainstream medicine or psychoanalysis go ahead. If you prefer alternative systems, explore the options in your area. I can help if you prefer by some information and advice, which is free. I hope you will live by your ideas of life, not some one else, however close they may be. Bach Flower Essences like Cerato will probably help you.

2007-02-17 13:16:03 · answer #7 · answered by Swamy 7 · 0 0

I am 28 and have been dealing with similar problems as you are for the same amount of time(17-28). I've been to see a shrink for 2 years once and never was diagnosed. he said that I was a smart person with a lot of stress, trying to make it but had no support. Apparently I needed guidance because no matter how much I poured my soul to him I was never diagnosed with anything but stress. I too, feel like the world is out to get me, that no one likes me, and people judge me harshly based on appearance so I can't move forward in life. I always hear my mother in my head and can't seem to break away from her controlling ways. I want to please her, although she hasn't done anything to please me. sick right! I've had shitty jobs where I wasn't appreciated for the hard work ethics that I have. So I decided to go to school so I had a piece of paper to back me up saying I am a hard, dedicated person with goals. The school turned out to be shitty with shitty teachers and the paper turned out to be just that. Worth nothing! I think we learn that our worth is determined by out income. Thats the society we live in. When its all said and done we can't take cash to heaven. So I have learned to have faith in who I am (a good natured person) never changing for the bad and reach out to as many people as I can. I do this without asking anything out of the people I meet or help but have faith that if I am ever in time of need, my god will send an angel of mercy to get me through. this may be in human or other form. Success is not happiness. Happiness comes from being comfortable with who you are and patiently waiting for good times and great friends. That, you can take to heaven! I still deal with psychological problems and self-doubt but it's getting better. Be patient with yourself and distant yourself from negative people.

2007-02-17 14:33:43 · answer #8 · answered by Starshika 2 · 1 0

Join the military, after you take your meds.
They are now accepting people with your problem.

2007-02-17 13:08:01 · answer #9 · answered by The Parthian 3 · 0 0

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