I am a 29 year old man, my fiance is 28, we've been daing for 2 years and are getting married in a year (just got engaged last night!!) We are both virgins (feel free to laugh, I understand :-) being 29 and all ha ha) and we plan on staying that way until our wedding night (her wishes that I've chosen to respect).
Anyway, I have a couple honest questions:
1)Even tho I know she has nothing to compare me to, I still want it to be good and satisfying for her. Is there anything I can do to practice to help me last longer? I've heard there are "drills" so to speak when a guy "pleasures himself" that he can do that makes him last longer although I dont know what they are. Any advice?
2)What position(s) do you recommend? What have you found to be the most passionate/intimate positions? I really want our sex to mean somthing, you know, be more than just raw, animal-like sex. I want it to be a man / woman, husband / wife bonding experience.
Thanks everyone!
2007-02-17 04:54:30 · 15 answers · asked by bobby f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello:
I think that its great you're both virgins.
Ok.... I also think the best thing to do is let everything happen naturally and don't sweat the small stuff. You are going to be with each other for the first time. How can anyone really give anyone advise. You are the only two people in that room together, love each other for the first time. You will love each other for a very long time and discover new ways to satisfy each other. You both will discover new feelings within yourselves. Which is a wonderful thing. Isn't that what marriage is.. Experiencing all the new and wonderful things together. The closenest and years together experiencing them alone & together.
You should both just relax and enjoy your life together like you are now. Don't get advise from anyone. Just stay tuned to each others needs and desires and you'll be fine.
Not sure if you are into any relgion books.. But Les & Leslie Parrott have some wonderful books out. Just about the differences between men and women.
I think you are both off to a good start. I wish you the best of luck and am happy knowing there are other people out there that have waited till there wedding day.
God bless the both of you.
You are already blessed.
2007-02-17 05:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by italianbronxgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do in easy terms virgins get stars? What if i become a married 40 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous with 3 young babies? i'm needless to say no longer a virgin, yet i might nonetheless be appeared down upon with the help of you besides, i'm no longer married, 40, or have 3 young babies i'm additionally no longer a virgin whether it is not like i'm 14
2016-09-29 05:56:42 · answer #2 · answered by fryback 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) I'm sure you concerned about "lasting long", but really make it about her. If you are concerned about lasting though, if you masturbate and reach orgasm 30 minutes to an hour before you get started, that may help prolong the next one you have. Unfortunetly though you will be new to the game and may find the warm innerds of your wife a little overwelming.
2) As for position, if you really want to connect with your wife, I suggest you try missionary position. But modify it so you are really close to her and grinding up agaisnt her pubic bone so that you are hitting her clitoris. In this position you will be able to look her right into her eyes lovingly as you two are entagled. Thats just a suggestion. Another great one for the couples is "spooning" or the "snuggle". Both of you lie on your sides facing the same direction. You enter her from behind and the position resembles 2 spoons stuck together. Its a position that allows you too to get really close without exerting a lot of effort. Well have fun crazys.
2007-02-17 06:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by "the Otter" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is awesome you both decided to wait. It will be special no matter what you do. I am sorry but the first time you can not expect to last. My husband was a virgin and I can tell you it did not last long, but it was great. You have the rest of your lives to pleasure each other. You will learn over time what works for each other. Because, what works for other people may not work for you. One way to prolong your orgasm after the first time is to think of something else, or to slow down your thrusting. At least thats what my husband says. Another man friend of both my husbands and mine says to eat lots of asparagus. It helps with stamina. Who knows? It might work and if it dont it is good for you. As far as positions my favorite is to ride astride of my man. But, your women will not feel comfortable doing that the first time you are intimate. Unless she is bold. I would try the traditional missionary position that way you are in control of how deeply you thrust. Less chance of hurting her when you penetrate her. Just take it slow when you penetrate, after a few seconds she will want you to continue. Just remember the first time may not be all you dreamed it to be. It will get better. You and her will get some satisfaction. I wish you a lot of luck on your upcoming marriage. May it be the happiest time of your life. Again I respect you both for waiting.
2007-02-17 05:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! No laughing here! I think that is awesome that the two of you found each other and have waited for that special night to share that rare gift with each other. That is awesome. Anyway, on to your question. Keep in mind that since this is her first time, too, it might be painful to make it last a really long time. Just take it slow, be passionate. I'm sure other women on here will give you their opinions on work for them, and thats great, but one of my fave positions that do it for me is on my stomach, legs together, my husband deep inside of me and grinding slowly, rythmic motion, not so much of the whole in and out thing, totally hits the g-spot. but with that position, there is little intamcy because it is not face to face and kinda reduces the intimate passion you will probably want on your wedding night. try the missionary position for awhile to accomplish the intimate passion, then experiience with other variations. After time, you two will get to know each others bodies and what each other likes and what makes you two feel good. Sex is an art. And if your comfortable suggesting this to your fiance, suggest she masturbate, if she doesnt already. I am a firm believer that when a woman knows her own body and what makes her feel good, she can guide her man to do that to her. You two will figure it out over time. I have been married for ten years and we were both not virgins when we got together, and even with experience under our belts, sex was not as good then as it is now. You learn each others bodies and what makes each other feel good. Good luck and congrats on your upcoming wedding, I wish you both years of wedded bliss. Try this website:
http://www.kama-sutra.bz/posit.htm
2007-02-17 05:10:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it's nice that you both waited for someone to come along that had the same morals and values. umm.. I heard that when you are in the middle of "doing the deed" if you think of something else then you tend to last longer, but being that this will be your first time...I can't promise that you will be able to get your mind off of her..lol..but I'm sure things will go well, just don't try to plan anything and just let things happen the way they want to. The traditional position would prob. be best for the first time but you and your soon to be wife will need to see whats comfortable for both of you, because what someone else says is great could mean pain for her discomfort.
2007-02-17 05:03:44 · answer #6 · answered by HALOGURL 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't put too much pressure on yourself, it might put a "downer" on the situation. I had a boyfriend who was a virgin and he was so concerned about doing it right, and so nervous that it took us months before he was able to actually keep it up long enough for it to work. It was very frustrating for him and he kept putting more and more pressure on himself.
Also, I have no idea how to make it pleasurable for her, since every girl I know found her first time to be painful and uncomfortable. I even bled for a few days afterwards. Just make sure you're both comfortable and don't worry about the end result, you have a lifetime to figure that out!
2007-02-17 05:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by meh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll warn you right now, the first time is probably not going to very good for either of you for a number of reasons. one being inexperience, and 2 being that you dont know each other well enough that way to know what the other wants. Take things slow and be open with each other. buy a book for lovers and try things out. if either or both of you are unconfortable being vocal in bed, try discussing things afterward. what you both liked, what you didnt care for, that sort of thing. eventually you'll know eaxactly what you like and what works for you. good luck! and congrats on the upcoming wedding
2007-02-17 05:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by crashtrblmkr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, if you worry about being bad at sex, you will be. If neither of you ever experience it before, it will be a pleasurable experience for both of you. The last thing you need is to get caught up in complicated techniques and such. Just wait until the honeymoon and do what comes naturally.
2007-02-17 05:10:04 · answer #9 · answered by Joel V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all nobody should laugh!Actually I believe there are a lot of people who would like to be in your shoes!It's amazing to save such a special moment only for you two!!!Don't worry,it's not complicate at all,just let your feelings and do what you like not what you think it would be appropriate for that moment!Take out the pressure and enjoy!I'll say only this-long,soft kissing all over her body will make both of you relaxed and after that maybe missionary position is the best for the first time.Good luck:)
2007-02-17 05:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by HPA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋