My ex and i called off the wedding a few months ago. we weren't ready and it was mutual. we tried staying together but it just didn't happen. i want to make sure i have that forever kind of love (not fantasy love--real love) before i walk down the aisle, and i wasn't sure i had that with him. i see marriage as something sacred.
my question is this: to anyone who has been through this, what did you do? i didn't lose money or anything like that, just curious as to other people's thoughts. thanks.
2007-02-17 04:34:34 · 4 answers · asked by lonestargirlie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
been there done that. Best thing that ever happened to me.
I went off to meet my wife, best friend of 18+years
I also view marriage as a sacred thing.
Ps. I married at 27
2007-02-17 04:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by mark c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think marriage is more than a fairy tale---or "forever love"....It is more, I think like, respect, admiration, passion, and trust....and as a marriage ages, passion is no longer that butterfly feeling....(love-making is best between two people who know each other rather well......) that butterfly stuff lasts about two years... but marriage is a deep commitment to care for someone other than yourself.... it is a conscious choice in selection, (or it should be) of like religions, politics, backgrounds, education, intelligence level and common hobbies and ways to spend spare time.... it is also an agreement on deciding if as a couple you should have children, and how money is spend... It is time alone to develop one's essential nature, and it is an ability to solve problems without rage, as well as kindness when expressing needs..... "I need....... I feel...." rather that..." You are such a jerk when you...... Are you just trying to be stupid when ......" See the difference? Identical kind coping skills, are as well important.
"Forever Love"...............I'm really not sure what that is. Should a marriage not last.... (notice I did not say 'fail') the wish to be partnered, and the joy and contentment of life as a spouse or partner is too lovely and too compelling to give only once.... Some marriage last forever, and are miserable.... and some last only a short time, and were wildly successful, in that they provided security, and fulfilled the needs of the two who chose to enter it.
This probably isn't what you were thinking of, but perhaps you ought to. and perhaps, you might consider a session or two of counseling to find out what markers you find important in a relationship.... Money is never the issue....contentment is.
I don't know that one is ever totally sure of anything, and for sure, not one which includes someone else. One eliminates obvjous errors --- marrying drunks, wife beaters, a man or a lady who are reproduced beyond any normal limits, and for sure those of far lesser intelligence and education.... god, can't imagine being hooked up with some highschool drop-out biker guy.....
2007-02-17 12:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you know what "real love" is. However, I think you were right in not getting married if you are not sure about it. You are still young. Continue to meet people for the purpose of enjoying yourself, not looking for a mate. The good hearted, compatible, kind man that you can have fun with may be just around the bar....I mean bend. : ) Good Luck
2007-02-17 12:46:00 · answer #3 · answered by jax0817 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST BE HAPPY MAKE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY. DON'T STOP YOUR LIFE CAUSE OF THIS JUST KEEP ON GOING SWEETY LIVE KEEPS ON GOING SO JUST LIVE AND LOVE WHAT YOU DO. GOOD LUCK AND BE HAPPY ALWAYS.
2007-02-17 12:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by Milagros N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋