Why do we marry?

Question

I mean, I know there's the whole... spend your whole life with someone, move up to the next step in commitement, but is it really? I mean think about it. It's married people who don't have sex, who get bored, who cheat. Marraige is almost something that bring your relationship down a notch. Is it just a thing we do, a societal expentancy? I mean, no offense, but married life just seems so dull. Everything's so happy and free when the couple just get married, but after everything slows down and the love seems to fade. Maybe it's just experiences or couples I've witnessed, but I really just don't understand it anymore. Your opinions?

Answer 1

Because we are selfish and want that other person. Don't knock it though, there are many great feelings to be experienced from having that significant other. Besides, who is going to change your diapers when you are a 98 year old babbling idiot, or even better, you may get the chance to do that for your lifelong friend and confident. The Bible says that if a man finds a (good) wife, it is a good thing.

Answer 2

Marriage is the ultimate COMMITMENT. Unfortunately, many times these days couples WANT the attention and euphoria of planning and going thru the wedding stuff, only to find they should have concentrated on getting to know each other better. NO DOUBT, that's a real problem.

The magic of marriage is written in the Bible, which is the reason people marry, and most ceremonies are religious. But couples really need to concentrate on their SPIRITUAL and their personal relationships and the level of commitment BEFORE they walk the aisle.

I have to make 2 points that you raise in your question.

1. "Marraige is almost something that bring your relationship down a notch" This is because lots of couples don't leave anything a mystery for after the wedding. Too much shacking up prior to the wedding, so there's no place else to go.

2. "Everything's so happy and free when the couple just get married, but after everything slows down and the love seems to fade" This surely does happen, but it APPEARS to happen in most marriages, not because love fades, but because their happiness resides within and between the marrieds, and they have no need to be the jovial party-goers as before. They find their shared goals don't include the next keg-busting, but rather a common venture that replaces the joviality with shared commitment.

Answer 3

With the beleif that marrige is not about sex but about loving the other person,caring and sticking it out no matter what.

Standing for the the other in times od need and duress.

Swallow hard and compromise when you would like to blow the other persons head off.

We start with all this just like a soda water bottle nowadays but hey does the soad fizz last?

The only way i think a man and woman could carry on and grow old together is when they see each other without any preconceived notions or expectations.

There are still examples of this kind and i bow and salute those couples , you are still there and perhaps thats why maybe there is still hope.

Answer 4

Marriage is the final step in commitment. Married people have more frequent and more satisfying sex, it is proven. Unmarried couples are much more prone to cheating. I have never been bored with my wife, and all the married I know are the same. One thing is that you know that there will always be that person there for you. To spend your life with the one you love the most, and to know that God has brought you two together is the most wonderful feeling I have ever known. Marriage is a wonderful thing and I would not trade being married to my wife for anything.

Answer 5

Well, humans by habit are not monogamous creatures. Society and social conditioning plays a huge role on whether or not people get married. The way I see it, everyone has there own reasons for getting married. Some people though spend so much time worrying about them instead of there partners and they drift apart. Its sad to see that in the United States people are to willing to give up on there marriages to seek something easier; divorce. I disagree with what you state in regards to married people not having sex. Its not the fact of being married which causes that, it is lack of intrest in a partner. Once you lose that its all over. I'm with you though, I think marriage has been so commercialized that a clear definition of what a functioning one is has been so skewed that everyone has to decide for themselves what they want out of it.

Answer 6

I think we marry for different reasons...all those that previous posters listed here. But I know that lots of married people start feeling like they're missing out on something....like there's someone else out there that may be better for them. There's a line to be drawn, because there's always going to be someone "better" out there. But maybe not. Sometimes there REALLY is someone better out there for you and you do need to divorce and find that person. All situations are different and I believe in divorce. I also believe in marriage and commitment but sometimes it takes people a while to get to know what they really need in a life-long partner, and unfortunately...sometimes that is not who we first chose to marry. It's painful to discover and yet at the same time it's good because your future awaits you. Some people just aren't ever satisfied and keep moving on. Maybe they don't need marriage and that's fine. They may end up lonely when they're old, but that's no reason to latch on to someone and get married...out of fear of being alone in the long run. You should want to be with them. You should like them and be attracted to their personality and sometimes you're lucky to also have someone that's physically attractive to you. Some people get married way too young and they feel like they didn't gain enough experience or learn what they really want in a partner. This is sad but happens all too often. I waited until I was 31 to first get married and my husband was 38 and this was his first. I was more experienced in relationships but he wasn't at all and I think I need to be with someone that has been around a little more and KNOWS what he wants and neither one of us is settling. I thought I knew what I wanted and needed but sometimes people change and sometimes that's in the midst of being married. Sometimes you work it out and sometimes you move on.

Answer 7

I've probably been married longer than you've been on this earth. My marriage is nothing like you've described. We are not bored, have sex, and still have the same feelings we had. Life is what people make of it. Don't misunderstand. We've had our differences. If you feel so negative about marriage maybe it's just not for you.

Answer 8

I've witnessed the opposite. I think marriage or life long commitment (same diff) enlightens a relationship. I'm getting married for that reasion. To really live my life with my lover and he with me. We'll know eachother. If it gets bored, or to wanting other partners, so be it. Eh.

Answer 9

i became into engaged while i became into 24 and married while i became into 26 Our wedding ceremony hues have been a faded peach and chocolate brown We each and each had our brothers as witnesses (2 complete), it became right into a very small wedding ceremony (14 human beings have been there which contain us and our reverend) Our reception became into held a month after our wedding ceremony, and we did no longer have assigned seating, maximum human beings did no longer take a seat, it became right into a dinner occasion We had a small chocolate cake and then a variety of cakes for human beings to choose for, i think of there have been 5 diverse alternatives We went to Maui for 2 weeks We have been given married in Gleneden sea coast, OR, a tiny city on the coast, only exterior of Lincoln city

Answer 10

Your thought are right on the money. Nothing that you said was wrong. Marriage is hard and must be worked on or it gets boring, and lets not forget how easy one can end a marriage too.