I brought my husband a celluar phone because at the time i was big and pregnant and i need something to get in touch with him if i go into labor so now that i had the baby, some girl is calling telling him she need to talk to him and want to meet him. He never touch , kiss or tell me thing to show me that he love and care about me. He alway putting me down and making me feel less as a women. when i want to leave him he cry and stay he would change. when he get mad he saying he going to leave me. I down now because i just had a baby and i can't get no job until my 6 weeks is up and he bring that in my face, he taking care of me. When i do get a job he all around me then because he wouldn't want no other man to get me. I mean i not happy in this relationship but i want my son to have mother and father in his life and he told me if he ever leave he would not do nothing for my son. He have 5 other kids he not doing that much for. He just comes around them 8 times in a month or less. Help
2007-02-17 04:01:08 · 41 answers · asked by Jessica B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lose him
2007-02-17 04:03:22 · answer #1 · answered by discostu 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious that your husband is cheating on you now. He doesn't kiss you or touch you & girls are calling him on the cell phone, so ask your family or a close friend if your baby & you can stay with them until you get back on your feet. Seek legal advice as soon as you are able to. If he bothers you at work, get a restraining order. This man is not who you want to spend the rest of your life with. He's controlling, because he's insecure about his life. He has no idea how to love, comfort, or support you when you need it the most. If he thinks he won't have to support your son if you leave, he's on for a big surprise. Your baby has a father, whether you two stay together or not. We have to do what's best for our children & ourselves. It sounds to me like you need to move on with your life, without your husband. Who wants to be with someone who always puts them down & makes them feel worthless? Not me & I'm sure it's not you either. If your husband really wanted to change, he would have done so, long ago. He needs to grow up & stop being a bully!
Be strong, pray, & it will all work out for your baby & you.
2007-02-17 10:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the way this question is worded, you do not have the English skills to get a job, hon..." He have....... is incorrect, and you have run-on sentences. The pronoun i is capitalized as in "I have four dogs."
And the rest of this is filled with errors far beyond laziness, but a real lack of command of the language. I'll make it real for you sweetie:
With these skills, you have no employment opportunities, even if you hadn't just had a child.... You're stuck, hon. Until you can get an education, to make yourself employable, you need to stay there for financial reasons....having a child that you cannot support, in addition to the fact that you yourself couldn't support even yourself has put you in quite a bad financial spot. So, stay, hon. stay. And if you have the smarts, as soon as possible, go back to school. And if you are college material, get a degree or some training.... you may be a single mom a long time.... And, as an added piece of wisdom, don't have any more children you cannot support yourself.... trying to trap guy number 2 into supporting you will just leave you with now two children you cannot afford. There are plenty of truly sad questions on this site--- most probably genuine:
"Oh, please help me!!!!!!! I have 6 children by three different guys. I am 25 years old, with no education, no child support, all these men are deadbeats, I have no friends, and no where to go, and the guy I am with now cheats on me, drinks, beats me up.....yadayaddaydaydaya........."
2007-02-17 04:31:42 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this! That is a tough situation since you have a new born. Can you stay with family or friends. Regardless you need to get out of this situation, even if that means raising this child alone. This guy sounds like a horrible husband and will probably be a horrible father. This is you life, the only one you have! Get away from him and find someone or something that makes you happy! You have a baby now and have to do what's best for both of you, and he is obviously not it! Good luck!
2007-02-17 04:05:44 · answer #4 · answered by ChristinaN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you want your baby growing up to believe this is how men should behave then leave him NOW. Most states have help centers just for this reason and believe me in the long run 6 weeks isn't very long. Show him you can be strong and go find a man who will treat you and your child right and be happy. If you don't leave now you never will you will always make excuses for him and when your child is older they won't understand why you want to leave because this is the norm to them--Good Luck I did and me and my son's are better for it but I can also say no one can decide when the time is right but you.
2007-02-17 04:26:31 · answer #5 · answered by rainwater97345 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, I feel for you. Not that i condone divorce, but your husband sounds like a controlling manipulative a**hole. You can try to make it work, but the question is: do you really want a marriage like this? He sounds like he has no respect for you what so ever. There is help for you out there. You have kinda answered your own question by pointing out all the negative aspects to your marriage. Your husband cheating, never showing you affecttion, putting you down, pointing out to you that he is your caretaker and not wanting you to get a job for fear that other men will be around you. Honey, this world is full of men, so short of staying at home 24/7, you will cross paths with another man. He is controlling and I am guessing your marriage is new and if it is this bad now, it will probably only get worse. Seek the help of family and friends, build a support group around you, look into state assistance for single moms and really consider your options. You dont need this kind of negative treatment and mental abuse from the one man who is supposed to love you and cherish you and RESPECT you. I wish you luck. Take care
2007-02-17 04:10:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a little advice---your son can have his father AND his mother in his life with out them being under the same roof...
children suffer more in a household where the parents dont get along then when they are seperated- never stay with a man for the "childrens sake" the children will always be a victim....
Get out, make it on your own.....any man can make a baby- it takes a real man to step up and be a father when the woman has had enough....
be blessed,
Aero
2007-02-17 04:25:07 · answer #7 · answered by Aero-Smith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are programs that will assist u in finding a good job, and will help u financially until u r able to stand on your own two feet. There is no excuse to stay with this man.
He is cheating on u, because you are allowing him to do it. He is using the fact that u just had a child and are unable to work at the moment in his favor. Dont allow him to do this.
Pack your things and go to a relatives house and take a stand against this useless man. U deserve better and its time u show him what you're made of.
Dont let him get away with it. Pack your things and leave right now. Let him fend for himself. U dont need his sorry @$$.
Good luck to u.
2007-02-17 04:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your baby deserve a man who will be faithful to you both--cheaters generally do not change. You do not deserve to be put down or feel less like a woman--I know you want your son to have a father--I know this sounds easier said than done but there IS someone out there who will love you and your son and treat you both like gold. Your husband right now will do nothing but keep you miserable and set a terrible example for your son. Please get out now before it gets even more complicated. Good luck and remember you are better than him, don't let him make you feel any different.
2007-02-17 04:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Sodas♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Advice: "What should I do if my husband is cheating on me?" First off You should start trying to get a lawyer and those devorice papers. If he's cheating why stay? Secondly, If he's putting you down emotionally, and if he ever put his hands on you, he's not worth it. As for the girl who is trying to ruin your marriage don't stop her, soon she will find out how he treated you and the pass women in his life, let her be stupid. As for your New Born, The baby deserve better and don't need him in his life, nor do you need the man in your life. Go live with another relative and get your priorities straight. Have one of your family members watch the baby, and you go find yourself a job, or go to school. Leave, don't stay. Go get the key to the locked door and leave!
2007-02-17 04:18:56 · answer #10 · answered by Danielle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you shud leave him right now before the baby grow up and gets close to her dad my mom left my dad when i was 7 and it was hard to let him go and i was mad to my mom till i was 11 but im cool wid her now but leave him if u r SURE he is cheatin but u have to find a new man before your baby comes to a age were she knows whats happening , meaning find a new man to take ur husbands place as father atleast at the age of 3 or wen ur baby starts going to school or else if its after that she/he will be furious
2007-02-17 04:08:30 · answer #11 · answered by Chequinah C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋