aaaahhh im lazy and unmotivated and apathetic help?

Question

throughout high school i had big problems with procrastination and being lazy but i could get by with it. now im in college and i failed the first semester and now im retaking everything and even tho i know how important it is i still cant get motivated to work and concentrate. i just tell myself ill do it after this or ill do it later and i never get anything done. i can sit in my house with nothing to do all day and have alot of homework but ill never be able to have the will power to just sit down and do it. and alot of the time i dont even know what i need to do because i cant pay attention in class so i miss what we need to do. im behind in the semester now and ive failed a couple assignments. i also lack the motivation to even go to class. i leave school after getting there sometimes because im so unmotivated. i miss alot of days. i feel like im screwing up my life but i cant snap out of this. im apathetic in every aspect of my life right now and depressed. HELP ME

im not fat or out of shape or anything im just lazy

Answer 1

You are neither lazy or unmotivated, you simply do not want to do what you are doing.

Why did you go to college? Because you were told that in order to get a good job, then that's what you must do, right? Before this, you didn't have a choice about going to school, did you? You were told you had to go. Even if you do muster up enough willpower to get through college, then what? You apply for jobs and you manage to secure one. Then what? Just think about it...

Assuming you are a normal guy, imagine a hot female knocked on your door and said "I'm a sterile nympho and all I want is to have wild monkey love for the next 12 hours". Do you think you'd be apathetic and unmotivated then? If you do think that, then clearly you are unique and nothing I say applies to you, but if the answer is: I'd nail her to my bed posts, while calling out "Hallelujah Jesus!", then you've proved my point. You are motivated about certain things and not others.

So what motivates you? If you don't give a crap about learning and just want the bare minimum in the way of financial matters, then just drop out of college and get any job that you can - full or part time to get by. If you'd rather spend your days doing crossword puzzles and so long as you aren't leeching off society, then go right ahead. To Hell with what anyone else thinks. It's your life, not theirs. Who cares what you are 'supposed' to do?!

If however, you want to be somewhat financially secure, then you are going to HAVE to find some way of getting there. That doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go through ordinary channels. Look at all these talentless so called singers and actors. They may be in the minority, but they make more than most people will ever make and have done so, nine times out of ten, by unorthodox means. I studied economics at Uni and although my 'job' now is somewhat related to the principles I learned, it was not a prerequisite. The point is that you don't have to do what you are doing right now.

One of the cliched questions kids get asked is "what do you want to do when you grow up". What's wrong with saying "Bugger all missus"? I remember p.issing myself with laughter one day when during secondary school the careers counsellor came by and some guy said he wanted to be a pornstar! He got in trouble, but when you think about it, why not? Why NOT take him seriously. Is it because they thought he was being funny; because they thought he couldn't make it or because this didn't fall into the 'norm'? Makes you wonder, doesn't it? Even for those little brats that have an ambition, how do they know what they want to do... really? Just say one wants to become a doctor. They work hard and become it and then realise that sticking their hand up a drug addict's rectum is not as fulfilling as they had dreamed.

You could be a prodigy with laser like focus and gain 3 PHDs by the time you are 27, then BANG, you get knocked down by a bus. Did you waste your time? It comes down to perspective. If they kid (the late kid) loved what they were doing, then no they didn't waste their time, but if they only did it because they were expected to fulfill their potential, then yes, they wasted their life.

The crux of the matter is you do what you WANT to do, not what is expected. The fact is that you are doing that now anyway. You use fancy terms like unmotivated, but that just means 'you don't want to' in laymens language. When you decide to put on TV rather than study whatever it is you are 'supposed' to be studying, then you have made the decision, whether conscious or not, that that takes priority. Every act you make, however incidental it may seem, is motivated by something. Normally it is a result of doing what gives you immediate gratification over some possible future gratification. The saying that necessity is the mother of invention is indeed true. If something is vital to you, then it gets done immediately. There is no need to motivate you. If someone sets fire to your pubes, you don't say "I'll put it out later", do you?

Life can be horrible and no matter what you decide to do, you may be unlucky to find that a great deal of your time is taken up doing crap you'd rather not do.

I was born into poverty and wanted money, so I worked for it. I hated doing what I was doing initially, but I did want money and what it could bring. Now I have it. This is not meant to glorify the pursuit of dreams and blatantly contradict what I said earlier, because I would much rather have won the lottery ten years ago and saved all this time. "Oh, but you have proved you are a man", they say... "bullsh.it", I'd rather be a mouse and have had the cash at the start thank you very much. Respect and admiration will mean sod all when you are dead, so do whatever the Hell you want to do now and screw what other people think! After all, no matter how hard you work, there is no guarantee that you will be rewarded for it. Don't be taken in by the movies and story books. In reality, you do not always reap what you sow...

Answer 2

The first thing to do would be to see your doctor for a diagnosis. He or she may then start medication and/or refer you for therapy. Then I would let your instructors know what was going on, so they might go easier on you, or at least be understanding.

You can get some self-help books from the library on procrastination, depression, etc.

You can learn to meditate

Very important: Do get fresh air and exercise every day, and eat healthily--most people think this is crap--it is not!! The fresh air alone helps to motivate, as does the walking/jogging, etc.

You could check out yoga

You may need some vitamins--your doctor will know which ones if he does bloodwork on you.

I'm wondering if your transition from high school to college was a very unsmooth one. This would explain your failing--after all, the work is much harder and more plentiful. You could talk to an advisor or counselor at school, and see if you can cut down your workload while going to therapy.

Be better!!

Answer 3

I'm with Raagnar actually, but I have 2 or 3 things to add. First, check in with a couselor or the health center, as this might be depression. Second, focus on the doing, day to day... you've had some big setbacks and you sound overwhelmed by the past and the nebulous future. Get out of your head and focus on daily assignments. If you have big projects ahead of you, try to break them into smaller tasks that you can accomplish daily. Look into study groups and tutoring that focuses on study skills. If you actually want to succeed at this, don't do it alone.

Answer 4

Maybe college isn't for you? You can still make a decent wage not attending college as long as you can work with your hands. Or if this is not the case, obviously you realize you have a problem. Don't go home to do your homework, stay at school go to the library where there is nothing else for you to do. I find when I'm not home thinking about how much I really want to play Halo or something it's too much distraction to do my work. Go to a library it has excellent surroundings to keep focus. Good luck!

Answer 5

i bought a book, THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO OVERCOMING PROCRASTINATION and i downloaded an audio book, A PROCRASTINATOR'S HANDBOOk.. and you know what it did to me? nothing yet, i'm too lazy to open them! LOL..

well, procrastination is a state of mind which could turn out to be a bad habit if you don't pay attention to it. first thing you gotta do, stop whining! it will only get you more frustrated, involve yourself in sports so that your body can be more active, that way your mind can get active. next thing you do, is find something that you like in school to get you motivated.. think hard! it may be your friends, a favorite subject (you're not gonna tell me you don't have 1 subject you like, are you?), a nice football game, your crush.. if you're now motivated in going to class, the last thing you're gonna need is a tutor for your failing class.. you gotta find someone! ask your bestfriend or pay someone to tutor you, that way he/she will scold you when you're procrastinating.. and o yeah, if you could find someone who will believe in you, that you can make it, it will surely raise your spirits up and it will help you a lot!

it may be a hard thing to achieve, but you gotta do it! you don't want to learn the consequences the hard way, would ya? good luck!

Answer 6

ALright don't listen to anyone who tells you to drop out.

You're a living creature; you need a reinforcer. Learning to perform a behavior requires reinforcers, this si how everyone learns to do ANYTHING we do, whether we learn to do good things or bad things or learn to avoid bad. This learniing that takes place is automatic; we don't even know we're doing it sometimes. For example, if a child sticks a hand in a socket and gets shocked and it hurts him, he will know not to stick his little fingers in there anymore. If a baby's diaper is wet, she will cry, then someone will change it and she wont have a wet diaper anymore. So next time she knows to cry to get her diaper changed. You learned to not do you work because getting bad grades was not as reinforcing as relaxing and being pleasantly lazy. Get it?? If not look up "principles of behavior". Sehr interresant

OK, so to fix your problem: we've addressed that you need to learn new to behavior (to study, do your work). SO you need to find sometihng that is reinforcing to you. Reinforcing means something that will increase the likelihood of you repeating the behavior. So is that Eating something sweet? Watching a favorite tv show?

Wahtever it is, this will be your reward. Now, what you need to do is grab a book for a class, read 10 pages, and tell yourself that you will not eat that sweet something or watch that tv show until you've read that book. Now, once you've read that book, you need to give yourself that reward IMMEDIATELY!! It only works if you are getting the reward under one minute.

Keep doing this process with studying, assignments, etc and eventually you are tricking your brain tino studying as a habit. You must sitck with it though.

Answer 7

there is only one thing that will help you get out of this. that is to realize that you need help. its not that you are a loser or anything.. you just dont know your priorities. you just have to wake up and smell the coffee.. you are in college now.. the professors dont care what you get.. if you would get a's or f's.. it doesnt matter a cent to them. its just money going to their pocket.
take failing for an example.. you messed up then and possibly before.. but just take that and put fourth more effort. no one gets your grades except for you. so even if your friends or family would lecture you for days.. its still you going to school. so all i can tell you is just to try. go to school, try not to miss anymore days, you have paid thousands of dollars to be there, so use it! be successful! good luck!

Answer 8

get caught robbing a bank and get sent to prison. u'll start studying in the prison cell within a few weeks cos studying would be the most interesting thing on the list.

OR

you can ask yourself what you really want in life. where do you see yourself 10yrs down the road. should you get expelled from college, what are your plans? will you be upset?

if you see yourself in a power suit trying to take over donald trump, u gotta start ur engines now. but if you see yourself working at the grocery store, quit college and enjoy life's breeze!

get a daily planner. and get someone to help you out with it. for instance, set a target to do 1 chapt of ur math revision and homework tdy. tell your mum tt if you don't accomplish ur tasks, take away your cell phone for tmr and cut 20per cent of your allowance.

well, put your mind to what you want. AND STOP PROCRASTINATING!

Answer 9

Quit school and become a construction worker, after three or four years you will gain the discipline to be a good student, then go back to school.

Answer 10

take time off go see and do something new and experience life then sit down and figure out what you want out of life