Understanding gay people
2007-02-17 03:29:12 · 7 answers · asked by marigal333 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You could read some books or whatnot.... but don't be broken hearted. I am a lesbian too, and my Mom is totally okay with it. Think about it this way... would you rather have your daughter be with a guy and be very unhappy, or be with a woman and be happy? I know it is really hard to understand, but for the sake of your alls relationship I would just be happy for her. That is all I can tell you to do. I mean, no parents expect their kids to be gay, but it happens, and you could never understand how hard it is for your daughter. I was SO afraid to tell my parents (I'm 21 now) and came out at 19. I cried so many times when my parents were not around. No one knew how devestated I was. I never wanted to be gay, and you daughter didn't choose this lifesyle, just know that. It's not about the sexual feelings either, it's what your daughter needs emotionally, and maybe socially as well. Your daughter is still young, and may also just be going through a phase, but even if she is with a woman the rest of her life, you just have to understand that is what makes her happy. Your daughter is struggling right now, it may not even seem like it, but she is, and she is probably also hurting as well... It will take a while for your daughter to even cope with the lifestyle. You want your daughter to be happy right? Just be there for her, let her know your there when she needs someone to talk to, and don't ever ever EVER judge her, hug her :) Don't tell her you don't understand, that will hurt her even more. She didn't do it to hurt anyone, she is just attracted to the same sex. It's just like your attracted to your husband. It's just love, that's it. This is so long, but if you do ever have any other questions you could always email me at Dixiexccoach05@aol.com
Good luck!
2007-02-17 04:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Your daughter is still the same girl she has always been... only your perception of her has changed.
This will take some time to assimilate, but if you have an open mind and heart, you and your daughter will be just fine.
In the mean time, here are a few resources for you, as requested.
http://www.pflag.org/
http://www.godmademegay.com/
http://www.christianlesbians.com/
I came out to my parents at 21. I'm now 38, and our relationship is finally starting to get back to where it was before I came out.
Please do whatever it takes to not lose this much time with your daughter.
I wish you both well as you work through this difficult adjustment period.
2007-02-17 04:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just have to say that you must be an amazing mother. Although you and your daughter may not be on speaking terms Im sure if she knew you were trying to understand her more, she would say the same. I wish I had that with my mom as I am openly gay to my family and they have pushed me away. I wish you the very Best and know that You have taken a step in the right direction.
Very Touched
J...
2007-02-17 05:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by ...J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
PFLAG is good. Check them out. I'm glad you're trying to understand this and are not one of those piece of crap parents who turn their backs on their gay kids. I have alot of gay friends and over the years have talked about this subject with many gay people. For many of them it took some time for their parents to accept it. She's your daughter. Just love, accept and support her. This is a vulnerable time for her and she needs your support more than ever.
2007-02-17 05:26:33 · answer #4 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I myself am gay, and have yet to come out to my parents. I have looked up things such as what you are looking for and I find them very helpful.
The site:
http://www.outproud.org/brochure_for_parents.html
The books:
-Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together by Robert Bernstein
-Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences by Carolyn W. Griffin
I hope you find these things useful, and I truly hope that you will come to accept your daughter for who she is and heal your heartbreak.
2007-02-17 05:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by hymmi_chan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pflag.org would have some excellant information. The organization also has support groups for parents coping with it, but if anything you have to read the materials with and open mind and heart.
2007-02-17 04:31:42 · answer #6 · answered by dreamers imagine someday 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please check out pflag.com, there's a lot of good information there that can help you through this time. It is my sincerest hope that you two can actually be closer through this time in your lives.
2007-02-17 07:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by collegedebt 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋