was not even tellin u that yur real dad was tring 2 contact u and 4 almost 10 years sending the letters bac 2 him, wat would u do? expecialy if SHE was the abusive parent, she sent all of the letters bac 2 him, he wanted me 2 come live with him, what should i do, should i try and mail him bac or leave it alone, even his kids ((im not ready 2call dem ma sister or bro yet)) and his wife have been sneding u things, and 1day u get a box of over 900 letters and gifts in it, how would u react, should i mail him tellin him that i never got any of it?
2007-02-17 02:11:28 · 17 answers · asked by koi 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i am soo confused i dont no if i should mail him bac or leave them alone
2007-02-17 02:11:57 · update #1
he is in india, i live in arizona
2007-02-17 02:21:32 · update #2
oh and i live with my grandparents now
2007-02-17 02:21:51 · update #3
im 14 years old
2007-02-17 02:22:57 · update #4
shes in rehab 4 acolhol abuse, and she was very bad 2 me, she would beat me till she would break my bones or till i couldnt move
2007-02-17 02:25:19 · update #5
dapiek: lol =}
2007-02-17 13:25:52 · update #6
definitely make contact but take it slow, don't rush into anything.....
What am I doing trying to tell YOU about trust ;)
2007-02-17 12:23:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You haven't said how old you are. I think that once you are 18, you can do whatever you want as far as contacting your father.
Second of all, you might want to go to a counselor. Again, I don't know how old you are, so if you are in school, talk to your school counselor, and ask them where there are psychologists/mental health counselors.
In no way am I suggesting that you have mental problems, but if your mother is abusive, that abuse causes mental problems later in life. Once you talk to a therapist and you guys find some solutions, maybe your mom can go to the therapist with you, and you can confront her about hiding all the letters, and trying to control the situation.
Depending on how abusive your mom is, do you think maybe you could sit down with her right now and have a talk? Ask her calmly if she feels afraid that you might leave her if you form a new relationship with your birth father. Parents do a lot of controlling things, just because they don't want to lose you.
On the other hand, from what you say, you still don't know your father really well, and I wouldn't recommend trying to go live with him until you know him much much better. There COULD be actually a good reason why your mom doesn't want him contacting you. This is another question you should ask your mom (and hope she is honest with her answer): Why doesn't she want you to communicate with your father?
Good luck.
2007-02-17 02:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell someone about the abuse and have them contact your father. It doesn't sound like she should be a parent. My mother kept me away from my father and he ended up passing away before I could have a relationship with him. Take this opportunity, you never know if you will have another one. But, regardless of what happens with your father, you need to get out of there fast!!!
2007-02-17 04:26:14 · answer #3 · answered by jenw1403 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact him. Tell him.
Your mother had no right to deny you the things your dad sent, and he most likely knows that you didn't receive the items. After all, she sent them back and it seems that he sent a box of items to you.
From what you've said, you mother is still angry about the past and is using you in an attempt to continue to inflict emotional pain on your dad. This is wrong.
Get to know your dad and his other family.
2007-02-17 02:20:05 · answer #4 · answered by jack w 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would mail him back and tell him I didn't get any of it. And check into trying to live with him if your mother is abusive. If you are 14 or older you have the right. Mail HIM BACK!!!!!!! Hope this helps. God Bless!
2007-02-17 02:19:35 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. A-Rod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say U GO TO UR FATHER RIGHT NOW!!! the mails and gifts show ur father really love u n + he have a steady family and he been trying to contect u for 10 years , but....talk to ur mom see what she say and ask why she been hiding ur father from u
But then again u don't really know ur father's wife and kids so is harder on u
2007-02-17 02:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi koi,
i think you should definitely write to him and explain the situation, that you never received any of his letters or gifts.
and maybe you should talk to your grandparents about him and his wife and kids coming for a visit. have you ever met him before?
hope this helped!!
<3
emily
2007-02-17 03:05:36 · answer #7 · answered by emily.grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely write him back.Sounds like he thought about you alot during that whole time.Think of all the things you both missed out on because of your mother's selfishness. I hope he's everything you hoped he would be and more.
2007-02-17 02:33:53 · answer #8 · answered by Sidetracked0260 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mail him back tell him the truth. Tell him how u feel. Ask him questions you might have. I would write him. It will bother u for a long time if u dont
2007-02-17 02:17:32 · answer #9 · answered by angel2eyes01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definitely mail him back and tell him that i got all what he wanted me to have.
biblically speaking, we should respect and love our parents despite and inspite of what horrible or painful moment we had with him. we owe our life to them because if they are not here in this world we wouldnt be able to live here.
if your'e asking why does your dad done it to you, well, God has His own purpose in everysecond of your life. just mail him back and tell him everything you want him to know about you. every second counts.
2007-02-17 02:28:10 · answer #10 · answered by Draconian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a hold of him. It's your right to know your father. You might be able to get the courts to allow him to see you. I'd say pursue this. Every person needs to know thier father.
2007-02-17 02:53:30 · answer #11 · answered by Isaac C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋