My husband thinks there is something wrong with me for needing visual stimulation?I am a very visual person as a matter of fact thats how i learned at school!I have a photographic memory! I mean romance is great i like it occasionally but its more of a turn on for me to find my hubby waiting naked for me in bed or watching him take a shower.I like watching him workout as well but he trys to over romance me which does nothing for me(acept annoy me) and feels uncomfortable with me watching him(feels uncomfortable).I wrote down exactly when i wanted romance from him 1. our anniversery 2. christmas eve 3.New years 4.Valentines day and 5. My B-day.He never want to try new positions just the standard position every time!I have asked him what he wants from me and he just said more sex and he said he doesn't think he should change his style?
2007-02-17 01:43:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I tried dressing up because i like to as a naughty nurse or a maid and he told me i looked like a wh#ore.I tried walking around the house nude only to be told by him to put some clothes on?I dont get him any ideas?
2007-02-17 01:48:12 · update #1
This doesn't really answer your question, but just as you don't understand or accept his likes and dislikes he doesn't get yours.
You are both stuck thinking something is wrong with the other person. You have unreasonable expectations. You believe that what turns you on should turn him on and vice versa. It doesn't work that way.
Having a list shoved in your face on exactly when sex is expected isn't going to do much for your love life either. If you are limiting him to these days he's going to look somewhere else before long.
Get some help, either counseling or a self-help book on marriage and relationships.
2007-02-17 02:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard for some guys to "conform" to others' needs. Men are a species that possess the "set in our ways" trait. I'm sure he's doing the best he can, with what he knows. He could be uncomfortable, or "shy" doing some of the things you ask him to do. He doesn't see new options as the "norm". Perhaps it comes from the way he was raised, or his past experiences with women. Don't be so hard on him. Be happy that he's even home having sex with you- and not out with some tart on the side.
2007-02-17 01:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, to be honest, it is just his style or the way he is. It could be because of a million things or just one. Could be something he was taught as a kid or because of a comment at that was made to or of him. The possibilities are endless. He might not even know or understand. He is just him just as you are simply you the way you are. And correct me if I am wrong, but doesnt he have a right to be him, just as you do to be you? You cant change him nor do you have a right to do so. You have a right to request, but not a right to demand or change him, unless he is doing something wrong, immoral or illegal. You married him as he is and he took you the same way.
You know, it never ceases to amaze me. A woman such as yourself always ends up with a guy like that. And a man who enjoys such things and appreciates them always ends up with a woman who would not dress sexy nor want to see the man naked, without a lot of money or alcohol involved. When you think of it, it is really kind of funny how life is.
TO THE LADY WHO SAID IF HE LOVED YOU, HE WOULD? I hear a lot of women say things like that. I just wonder how many times you and those like you reverse that and see it in the other direction? Why is it that if someone loves you, they should change something, but if you wont do as they ask, they should still know you love them.
2007-02-17 01:58:39 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you can hang out at my house anytime.
Husband sounds like a bit of a prude.
You might try a book like the "Joy of Sex".
Let it lay on the coffee table. When he brings it up it will be a perfect entree to discussion. Tell him what turns you on about him and ask him if he can find a way to do try some stuff for you. He will be well rewarded.
He wants more sex. Show him how he can get it.
2007-02-17 02:02:46 · answer #4 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and come meet with me. i will let you watch me do anything. And, the nurse and french maid costume, you could wear them everday if you like.
Who knows. He sounds somewhat reserved and conservative. You may be able to loosen him up, may not.
2007-02-17 03:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No idea...what you are doing would definitely get going any guy I know.
2007-02-17 01:51:23 · answer #6 · answered by wbyrdie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My lover says he has sexual issues and needs a therapist.
2007-02-17 01:47:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in relationships we are just not compatable in ALL areas.
2007-02-17 01:52:11 · answer #8 · answered by Donna S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he truely loved you, he would want to make you happy....think about it
2007-02-17 01:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋