Anyone else have discussions with husbands or straight males & then get the cold shoulder because they just can't seem to discuss the subject? I have several gay male friends & the heterosexual males in my life are really turned off by this. Why? They act like talking to a gay guy will compromise their manhood. Now celebrities & athletes are acting out. Women have you experienced this kind of behavior? And men what's really up?
2007-02-17 00:17:06 · 11 answers · asked by Sandi Beach 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't think I'll ever understand why men are like that. I think you're right that they feel like it will compromise their manhood somehow. But that is just ignorance. I don't mean "stupid", but ignorant. They don't know about the lifestyle, and they are so closed-minded that they don't care to learn about it or get to know any gay folks.
My stepfather was that way for a very long time; he was totally against the whole "gay" thing, and thought all gay people were disgusting. Until he found out that I was gay. It totally changed his viewpoint and he even had a very close gay male friend. He told me before he died that he realized that not all gay people were bad, and that he needed to judge people for who they really are; not *what* they are.
I don't think it will change for some of them unless they have someone come into their life that can impact the way they see it. All it will take is for one of them to have a gay child. That changes everything.
2007-02-17 00:24:35 · answer #1 · answered by Shawn_Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a 38-year-old married straight woman who's had many close gay friends, some going back 20+ years. I think I've done alot educating and opening up the minds of my husband, brothers, their friends and other straight men on gay people. Most of them get along fine with my gay friends. I like to think that I'm the catalyst for them being more accepting. But it could be that I'm a fairly strong-willed woman and they know that if I hear them say anything disrespectful toward gay people then there's going to be a problem. All I can say is hold your ground, be friends with whoever you want and if these men don't like it tell them what they can kiss. It sounds like some of the men in your life have some security issues. Strong, secure heterosexual men do not have a problem talking with a gay man.
2007-02-17 12:24:27 · answer #2 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where I live, guys - especially younger males - seem to think that anything to do with male homosexuality is ... (I'm struggling to find words) wrong beyond my powers of description, and yet fantasise/ are excited by the idea of lesbians. Double standards or what? An example of this would be two friends of mine, who made a deal with some guys (rugby-playing types) that they would make out with each other, if the guys would kiss each other first. The struggle for one of them in particular was intense. In the end, he agreed, but when they had actually done it, he was really upset and actually nauseated. I think it's the legacy of too many years where men had to be the strong types. Maybe loving another man is perceived as a weakness, a "submission" that a lot of guys are societally programmed to find distasteful and reject because they're supposed to be in control. I think Freud would say it was about repressed homosexual urges on the part of those males who refuse to discuss the subject, but I'm not going make any judgements there.
2007-02-17 08:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by snarky 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a part of our gender socialization; men are literally brought up to act as though their manhood depends on them not being gay. And, to make sure that everyone KNOWS they're not gay, they'll act out. This culture kinda blows sometimes.
2007-02-17 17:25:59 · answer #4 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have some gay male friends too and I have not seen any straight man NOT want to talk to a gay man just because of their sexual orientation, but I know what you are talking about, these sports figures should know that children idiolize them and are learning from their examples and for them to state that they are very homophobic and that they hate gays is sending the wrong message to these children, it's bad enough when their parents are haters and bigots without sports figures sending them these bad messages.
2007-02-17 10:25:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am straight and I have three very close gay men friends that I know of. Also I have a number of Lesbian friends. The only homophobe is in your brain.
I Cr 13;8a.
I like girls but I don't limit my self to straight people only. Homosexuals and Lesbians need Jesus just like the rest of us and if they are nice to me I will be nice to them. In fact I will be nice to them what ever the circumstances are.
2007-02-17 08:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think the ones who are afraid to talk to gays are really just confused about their own sexuality and are afraid that they'll be attracted to one of them or something...lol. And sometimes people fear things that they dont understand.
2007-02-17 08:48:01 · answer #7 · answered by BlondBoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's the same reason why gays and liberals will give you the cold shoulder if you talk about christianity.
2007-02-17 12:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by locksmithite 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
please do not confuse homophobic with the desire of not having someone's sexuality rubbed under their noses. How one enjoy's getting off should be a private issue.
2007-02-17 08:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by Mon-chu' 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to me,gays are like ugly,slutty,violent,rude women
i don't like that kind of woman
2007-02-17 08:55:03 · answer #10 · answered by someone 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋