How can I cure physcological erectile dysfunction?

Question

Hi, I am 20 years old. Still a virgin. Tried having sex when I was 18 but couldnt rise to the occasion. I have arranged to meet an escort this week as I am desparate to lose my virginity. Im am quite nervous (which doesent help) and am just praying I can get hard. Any advice on what I can do to improve my chances would be very much appreciated. (It is not a size issue)

Thankyou for your answer Rick M, I was looking for local psychologists and came across hypnotherapy, would this be good aswell? How much do they charge?

Answer 1

Don't do it man. Will be a huge mistake. I went through the EXACT I mean exact same thing you went through. I was a "relatively" old virgin (19yrs old) and I let it bother me. As you get older and your friends and others around you that are your age start having sex and are no longer virgin it makes you feel inferior, somewhat less of a man that you're still a virgin. Also can make you wonder "what's wrong with me?"

So, because of this "social pressure" I decided to get a hooker. Through out the whole night when I was with her talking I was so nervous and didn't want to go through with it but I just remember comforting myself thinking that by this time tomorrow I will no longer be a virgin.

Needless to say, I was so nervous that I could not get an erection. This completely scared the **** out of me since up till that point I thought ED was a only a problem for old guys especially since during adolescence you get random erections all the time and so I just took them as granted. But I could not get it up at all (even went to the bathroom and tried manually but it was not responding which freaked me out more). In retrospect ,and after l did research on the topic later, what happen was that I was so nervous that it actually triggered the "fear response" in the body which automatically shuts down your sex drive/organs--since in a situation where you fear for your life you have no need to use that part of your body.

But that prostitute took more than my money, she took my mojo too. My sex drive completely tanked after that incident and sex too became a turn off--I no longer even had the desire to masturbate where as before I would do it twice a day sometimes. Also, after that incident I started questioning my manhood more and also my heterosexuality despite the fact that I was always secure about it my whole life. It's not that I had an attraction to guys, it’s just that I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get it up when I had hot, naked woman inches from me. My low sex drive also led to that questioning because I no longer was getting excited by just seeing hot women on the street or on television like I used to. Could if be because I am gay I thought? This scared me a lot because I had never had an attracting to guys and have always liked women, but it was my lack of sex desire for women which made me question whether or not I was gay and not because I suddenly felt attracted to guys. But the feeling of being insecure sucked a lot and was all due to me rushing into trying to have sex.

Most troubling thought was that I also began to constantly worry about the thought that if I did end up being sexual with a girl I actually wanted to be with (as opposed to a random prostitute) will I suffer from the same problem again? Obviously, worrying about it causes it to happen again so it did:

Fast forward one year later when I was 20 yr old. (keep in mind that through out that year I was always troubled by my insecurity and fear of another failure.) I meet this girl through a friend and we immediately hit it off. I felt a strong attraction to her and we ended up going to a night club one night. While dancing with her I constantly had an erection (which was kind of embarrassing) but she was ok with it and even did stuff to it. After the club we went back to my place and started to make out and do other stuff. But instead of just enjoying it, I started to worry about the thought that it could lead to sex and that I wouldn’t be able to get it up again. So obviously, worrying about it caused it to happen again. While making out, she unzipped my pants and tried giving me a hand job but my "guy" was not responsive. I tried playing it cool and told her I was just drunk and tired, but I was freaking out inside. We sort of went out for a month after that but I was never able to get comfortable with her and so whenever we were making out and getting somewhat phsycial, It alwasy triggered the thought process that it might lead to sex, and to another failure, and so I was always afraid to try and get too physical with her, which I'm sure made left her confused and frustated. Not surprisingly, she ended up getting into a relationship with another guy.

A month after that though, I ended up going out with a girl who I had had a crush on for two years. At first I was plagued by the same thing (worrying about it happening again) but it was to a lesser extent because I felt so comfortable around her and because I liked her so much. If anyone was going to be the person I lost my virginity to, she was it.

Well, after about dating for a week and doing lots of foreplay, she asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I felt ready, so we did. I was able to get an erection, but during sex I began "thinking" too much again and wasn't able to enjoy myself, which caused another problem: I couldn't climax. Eventually after a 20 minute session I began freaking out about the fact that "why haven't I climaxed yet. Usually you hear of guys in their first time only lasting 3 seconds, etc..." this brought back all my insecurities and doubts etc, and so I ended up losing the erection and stopping.

Attempts after that were complete failures because now all the confidence I gained from being comfortable with with her was shot. and so every time we tried to have sex I would lose erection during (this time not after 20 minutes but more like 20 seconds), and with every failure it chipped away at my confidence and added to my insecurity; and I even lost an erection when she was giving me oral, despite the fact that even before we first attempted to have sex she gave me oral several times and I was able to climax all times.

So the problem was all in my head which is hard to treat. I just literally felt that I just needed to get over that initial "hump" and then I would be cured. (This was the case, btw.) But key to my overcoming it was her support. She was very understanding and loving of me and told me that "we" would attempt 1000 times until it worked, because she was willing to help me through this because she liked me that much. I eventually told her about my sexual hang-ups (traumatic incident with prostitute, low sex drive, etc.) which she was also understanding of and thankful I told her because she worried that the problem was that I was not attracted to her, which certainly wasn't the case.

The solution to your problem is simple but very hard to achieve. First, don't feel pressured to lose your virginity. Since you are suffering from Psychological ED, I fear that you have initiated the "vicious cycle" which is-- you fear that you will lose your erection during sex which will cause you to lose it. So most likely, hiring a prostitute won't help, unless you adopt the mentality of not caring at all and maybe even think to yourself "why should I be nervous about what a prostitute thinks." If you have confidence and adopt a not caring mentality then you won’t suffer from ED again. And just being able to get over that initial hump with the prositute could solve your problem. but again, you can not be nervous and must have a "I don't care I'm just doing this for my pleasure" mentality.

But, if your case is similar to mine, overcoming psychological ED is very hard and takes time. It will just sort of goes away once you become more comfortable with your partner. But I suggest you get a girlfriend who is understanding and supportive. You should tell her of your problems up front. That way, it if happens again, it will be no big deal since you both knew it could happen and you both can work on it together.

I also saw a psychologist for one session but he didn’t say anything I already didn't know (it's all in my head etc.) but for some, talking about it might solve it or just having a professional reassure you that "it's all in your head and that it will go away soon" is enough to solve it. I also have downloaded a hypnosis mp3 sound file which was somewhat helpful too. If you give me your email address I can send it to you.

Pscyho. ED is a hard thing to overcome because it completely dominates your way of thinking when it comes to sex and until you're able to reverse it, you're troubled by it. Comforting thing is, once you're able to change your mentality, you're cured for good. I no longer suffer from it and am once again fully secure about my sexuality and my sex drive is healthy again too.

Final tips: just relax and don't think (don't worry about performance or whether you will lose your erection or "my favorite" worry about the fact that you are "thinking". if you must think, just think of the pleasure you are receiving and concentrate on that. I also recommend sticking to foreplay for a long time until you get comfortable with your partner. You should tell her you want to take it slow; I think most girls would like that. Also, don't do it until you are ready (i.e- comfortable) Don't feel pressured to "lose" it.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

2

Answer 4

You are going about this the wrong way. It's like putting a band aid on a broken leg and hoping you can walk. Call the escort and cancel, and use that money to see a psychologist. Your problem is just going to get worse when the escort shows up and you still can't perform. You will have suffered another failure, plus wasted all that money! How do you think your going to feel after that? That's right, worse! See what I mean? What you need is a good PSYCHOLOGIST you can talk to because your problem is in your head, and no amount of physical attempts or tossing off is going to help. You need to find out why you are unable to function. Find someone you can be totally honest with and as long as you are completely open about what's going on in your head, they will be able to help you find a solution, not just treat the symptoms. Remember, these people are there to help, not judge you, so you can trust them with this. Look for a psychologist that specializes in sexual dysfunctions. Don't waist your money on a hooker, when you need a doctor.

Answer 5

Physcological

Answer 6

Male sexual arousal is a complex process that involves the brain, hormones, emotions, nerves, muscles and blood vessels. To solve the erectile dysfunction i suggest to check this natural method https://tr.im/sT1Ay .
Erectile dysfunction can result from a problem with any of these. Likewise, stress and mental health problems can cause or worsen erectile dysfunction. Sometimes a combination of physical and psychological issues causes erectile dysfunction. For instance, a minor physical problem that slows your sexual response may cause anxiety about maintaining an erection. The resulting anxiety can lead to or worsen erectile dysfunction.

Answer 7

Eating lots of leafy greens, whole grains, oysters, watermelon, and blueberries (most any fruit will work, really) will help you give your body all that it needs to improve the quality of your erections, while cutting out processed foods, cigarettes and alcohol will provide further benefits. Read here https://tr.im/NaturalCureForErectileDysfunction

Add in a healthy dose of exercise at least three times per week, and you’re well on your way to better sexual health!

Answer 8

Naturally Increase Penis Size : http://LongPenis.uzaev.com/?kMzS

Answer 9

Premature ejaculation is caused by specific things that you do before and during sex. Most of the time without even realizing it. Read here https://tr.im/mnHx9

Premature ejaculation is not some gene you're born with, the result of your penis size or a part of your personality that you can never change.

Answer 10

Purchase a ********

Answer 11

If masterbation can work than you should be able to get it up. practice makes perfect. i say practice first.