Well, I'm still at school, although im in my last year...(I'm in sixth form). I'm nearly 18, but I feel really young sometimes (like...15/16 years old!!), and this makes me nervous when im in social situations with older people.
I'm really close to a few of the teachers, and want to ensure we keep in contact when I leave.
The thing is, i'm not very good at talking, unless the other person asks me something, or starts the conversation.
I was wondering if there's anyone able to give me a few pointers to assist me in more "adult" discussions..what to talk about etc, although there probably isn't a routine, as conversation is generally random (I think?), I would just like to feel I have the ability to approach adults for a conversation, in order to be more mature - sometimes I think I get mistaken for being immature, as im light-hearted, sarcastic and joke around abit - although that's probably just being paranoid, still, I'm intrigued to see what answers I may get.
help anyone?
2007-02-16 22:09:04 · 11 answers · asked by taurean_lady06 1 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
If an adult is considerate you shouldn't have a problem. I'm 71 and I see a lot of adults that just don't have the wisdom to relate to our young people.
Some are narrow minded and if it's not their way it's no way.
Some are still believing every thing is all about them.
Some can't except our changing world and won't even try to understand it.
The sad thing is, they don't realize that they should be setting the example for our young people.
I love being around the young people. I have a sense of humor and love to laugh with them. I can sense when they are uneasy and do my best to comfort them. I'm 71 but I'm a 17 year old at heart. I ask a lot of questions and then I'm a good listener.
Don't ever let an adult or a teacher try to brow beat you. Many of them feel if you are assertive that they want to knock you down a peg or two. Don't let them do it!
I do appreciate it when some one shows me respect so always do that when dealing with an adult.
To all the adults out there. We are teachers for all young people we come in contact with. I feel the young people I know always gather strength from me and come back for more. I feel I'm blessed to have that quality.
I hope this helps you. Good question.
You can always ask them about their health and they will tell you more than you want to know. (Just a little bit of my humor.)
2007-02-17 19:29:57 · answer #1 · answered by DeeJay 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many social groupings you will encounter. Some social groupings will have an agenda/circumstance which makes you feel excluded or marginalised.
The trick is to realise which groupings seek to include, and which seek to humiliate. Old people are not all the same, just as people you own age are not all the same. There may be some people your own age who you get on with and talk to easily. Identify what is common about these people, and you will be able to quickly identify older and younger people who have these characteristics.
Humiliation is a game called one-upmanship. You can choose to play their game, or play your own game.
Turn the tables on this game of humiliation, and become the person everyone else wants to talk to. More "adult" discussions are exactly the same as childish discussions, they are just disguised within the particular games people play when they do smalltalk in social groupings.
Identify what games you like to play, and you will easily spot the people who play your game in a crowd.
2007-02-17 06:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by James 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question! I struggled with that same situation for a long time, until I figured out how to be a good conversationalist. The thing I struggled with was talking about myself, so I learned to control the conversation by making the other person do most of the talking. How did I do that? I asked a lot of questions!
Older folks have been around a while, and most are pretty wise because of that and I ask questions about how things were when they were younger, such as, "man, I'll bet you have seen a lot of changes since you were my age". You know, questions like the compliment mature folks because they want to tell you what they know and it's flattering to them. Get them to talk, and you will be thought of as a good conversationalist.
Hope that helped.
2007-02-16 22:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by Delta Charlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to building a relationship with anyone is to care for and be aware of the other person. Ask them questions, remember what they told you, ask about something they shared the last time.
When talking to someone, incorporate questions like, You said......what did you mean by that? or that interested me, tell me more about that.
And pay attention. Think about what the other person is saying, not what about what you are going to say next. If you really listen you can avoid stupid responses.
Most mature people will reciprocate and ask you questions. Then the conversation and relationship can grow. This works for every relationship you will have. It will work romanticly, with your parents, employers, clients, friends, children.
and don't feel bad. I find there are very few people who are good at this.
2007-02-16 22:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by dmjrev 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when in older company, LISTEN to what is being talked about. Add a comment if you feel able to. Do you read a newspaper??Not the sun, mirror etc, but a decent one, Guardian express, mail etc. Do you watch the news, especially your LOCAL news to see whats going on? Hope this helps. Feel free to email me if you want more info. Good luck. Its nice to answer a sensible question...PS. As the guy under me says, cut out the 'and yeah' like well yeah, thats cool,(cool was a saying back in the 60s-70s) so its nothing new, and you should be ok. Like wow, yeah. LOL
2007-02-16 22:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stop worrying about it and just allow yourself to develop at your own pace. If you force yourself to be any different then you're not being yourself, and you need to develop confidence in who you are.
I understand what you are saying, I would consider myself to be a bit of a late developer myself - in fact I'm 28 and I sometimes still feel that way myself! Just practise being in social situations, make conversation and learn to like who you are, then your confidence will develop and maturity will come when you are ready - don't put too much pressure on yourself, that's when it becomes stressful. Good luck and I hope this helps..
2007-02-16 22:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by Funky Little Spacegirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all: quit putting yourself in the "little kid " role, at 18 you ARE concidered to be an adult. the thing that will help is to remember that there are plenty of "adults" that act more childish than you could ever be. besides, being and adult isn't all its made out to be. just relax, part of being an adult is not giving a darn what some people think of you. eather they like you or they don't, thats their problem
2007-02-16 22:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by oldguy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...first... "they" are already envyous of you... as "we" age we regret it to a point... dress kOoL but not Goth... use fill sentances...but avoid the ...."like,like'like ya'know" "awesome" and "fur'sure" are adult killers.... and so is "O'ma'Gaud"... !!!
look people in the eye... dont be pick'n at your nail polish or twisting you hair around your finger or "pop'n" gum....ugh...
Better yet, just stay home till your 35 and have about 4 kids (it's a joke...dont get your knickers in a twist).... enjoy
2007-02-16 22:18:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will all come with maturity. Stop worrying and be your natural self. You sound like a really nice person.
2007-02-16 22:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by celianne 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT WILL COME IT SELF , STOP WORRYING AT LEAST IF YOU SAID SOMETHING STUPID THEY'LL UNDERSTAND BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE
2007-02-16 22:20:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋