I have been dating this guy, he is like the one person in all my life who I have really felt like he is "the one", like that spark you get when it feels SO right. Well I knew from the very first time I laid eyes on him that I wanted to spend my life with him, he is the only person I know who can make me laugh the way he does, and no one else makes me happier. So he told me that he wont lie to me or keep anything from me, and then he said that he is HIV-Positive as of Nov. 2006. I dont know what to do, I am HIV-Negative, but I really love him a lot, he is the only man I have ever wanted to give my whole heart to. PLEASE help me! PLEASE, and dont be mean to me either (I dont wanna hear I bunch of hate right now), I hurt a lot and dont need that to add to it. Thank you for any help you can give, and I will just keep on praying!
2007-02-16 20:59:56 · 11 answers · asked by Jordan 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am so sorry to hear about the diagnosis. I have a couple of questions (you only need to answer them to yourself). Did you have intercourse before he told you? Did you use protection?
If the answer is yes, then you really need to evaluate the fact that he put you at risk without you knowing the facts. If he did, that is where I have a problem.
Quite a few years ago, I was in a relationship. My bf told me before we had intercourse he had herpes. That is trust. That allowed me to make a decision based upon facts rather than just putting me at risk. I imagine that the fear of AIDS is much worse.
If your BF told you before you had intercourse, then I would arm yourself with facts before you make the leap. Talk to a health-care provider about your chances of getting HIV with protection. I know, as you do, there is a risk. Is that risk worth it to you? You are the only one to answer that.
Just one more thing; You can have a relationship without actually sex.
Good luck to you, you both will be in my thoughts.
2007-02-16 21:29:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You both should get tested! You should also get educated to the latest medications and treatments available. Although this is not a time for celebration, being HIV positive is not the end of the world. If you really love him, he will need your support now more than ever. You may also require a support group. Like many things in life, it is easier when you have someone that truly cares standing by your side. I wish you the best...
2007-02-16 21:22:58 · answer #2 · answered by Just-us 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have been shocked and scared to death. That was my initial reaction after my boyfriend told me. Now, my boyfriend and I have remained a mixed status couple for over 4 years, and plan to go the distance. Some questions I wished I'd known to ask then include: What's his viral count? Is he on HIV medication? If he just converted, treatment with medication can stop the disease in its tracks. Insist on precautions, and get tested regularly. HIV is no longer the death sentence it was in the 80s. Many people are living long healthy lives with HIV due to the new meds out. But every strain is different, so you should both be safe and monogomous, so as to no bring in outside strains that may be more resistant to the medications, and deadly to either one of you.
2007-02-20 17:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by DW2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi brother…..
I can understand your feeling it is a really hard situation to be in poor you.
My opinion is that love and life are together without love no life and without life no love.
Yes, you love this person but it is not your mistake that he go +HIV and maybe not his mistake either.
But if you got the condition it will be your mistake. If you lost your life that way it is your mistake because he did not lie to you but you accept been with him.
My advice no brothers let this feeling go and try to refresh your life. There are many +HIV he can have good relation with. And that would be fair for both of them.
But to risk your life and health that is unfair for you and him.
2007-02-16 21:13:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you be able to take the pain of seeing him die slowly? If yes, then go on with the relationship. Get some counselling how to deal with the situation and avoid getting infected. If not, then let him go. It would be more painful for him if you leave him or breakdown when he needs you the most. Remember this is not a simple situation and love is not enough to make you strong. Be practical, you might end up paying for his medical needs and stop working just to take care of him.
2007-02-17 05:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by PAXson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit this relationship and go and get tested. It takes up to six months to get an accurate result back. You can still be friends. Stop sleeping with him, with or without a condom. There are no one hundred percent guarantees.
2007-02-16 21:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are HIV-negative then you deserve to be dating and sexual with someone else who is also HIV-negative. You need to break up with him, just be friends with him, and he needs to find someone who is also HIV-positive to be sexual with. But most importantly, be a friend to him.
2007-02-16 21:21:27 · answer #7 · answered by Ved 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Excellent answer lou-If you truly love someone, it wont make any difference. Just be very careful. If my GF told me she was positive, it wouldnt matter to me. I love her and will stand by her through anything.
2007-02-16 21:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by tmills883 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand how you feel right now. i you really love the guy, then help him. stay with the person. but be sure to be safe. good luck.
2007-02-16 21:21:12 · answer #9 · answered by <fish_me> 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont understand what you need help with? besides ALWAYS needing to use protection... theres nothing different.
keep loving him.
2007-02-16 21:05:32 · answer #10 · answered by louie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋