I am in my 3 yr of marriage and just this New Years, at a family dinner, I was accused of being a manlipulative, disgusting liar who is out to tear apart the family. Since then, I have been visited three times by the sister-in-laws and they have continued the allegations. The last time this happened was this evening, my she rang to speak with my husband and told yet another lie, about my husband. They are both very good as they are very controlling of their whole family, including their husbands. They say jump and the husbands say "yes dear, how high?" Each allegation involves a remark I have allegidly said to them regarding my husband. My husband and I have been fighting over the lies and allegations made by the sisters, and he says he believes me, but never backs me up when they say words against me. I just don't know where I stand or what to do. I know that if I give up on our marriage, that they have won, but the person who is hurting the most is my husband. Please Help me.
2007-02-16 20:11:34 · 7 answers · asked by clancy _overflow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First realize that your husband is on your side but that those are his sisters and it has to be really hard for him. I would be sure to tell the biddies off and let them know that in no way, shape or form are you going to tolerate their lies. Tell them that until they can learn truth from fiction to stay away from your home. As far as the husband goes let him know that you appreciate his support and know how hard this has to be for him but at the same time to consider how hard this is for you as well. Ask the sisters if they lie cause they share one brain and have to embellish due to it. Good luck!
2007-02-16 20:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain to your husband just how much this is affecting you ad you need to ask him to tell them to back off. Getting into a slanging match with these two is just going to give them more ammunition. Handle yourself with dignity and control when it comes to these women and if you keep your cool, they will begin to sound irrational. If your husband believes you then he needs to let them and the rest of the family know that you are his wife and he will not stand for this any more. You need to encourage your husband to stand up for you because when they talk about you, they talk about him. when the critisize you they critisize the choice he made and they undermine his judgement. As for not knowing where you stand, well you stand beside your husband. With his wedding ring on your finger and just as much right to be in his life as them. Next time they start hurling accusations, smile at them and tell them quite calmly that it doesn't matter what they think or say because they don't see your lives everyday, there are no secrets between you and your husband and you have no reason not to trust each other.
It;s likely these women feel insecure now that you're on the scene and are afraid that their brother will start telling them no. If you love your husband, hang onto your marriage. These sort of people are not worth sacrificing love for.
2007-02-16 20:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very real and unfortunate situation you're in. You need JOINT counseling that involves both you and your husband. Answers.yahoo.com will not give you a solution here. This requires an outsider (counselor, pastor, therapist) to work with both you and your husband. In the meantime, you and your husband need to let his family know that you may not be spending as much time with his family in order to work on your relationship, and then separate yourselves as you do just that......
2007-02-16 20:20:31 · answer #3 · answered by You have 22 characters 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is truly on your side, he needs to grow a spine and stand up for you. He needs to speak to the two sisters-in-law and tell them in no uncertain terms that unless they start to respect his wife as a member of his family and stop spreading rumours about her, there will be no further contact between you and them. If it comes to that, be sure to let the rest of the family know why you choose not to attend family gatherings anymore.
2007-02-16 20:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would set the little tarts up one way or another . Have one of your male friends walk up to one of them while there with there husband and say" Hey so and so i had a great time the other night " and let him walk away . They will be to busy trying to repair there life and forget about yours
2007-02-16 22:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I told you to stay away, you manipulative liar. get a clue. are you stalking all of us and trying to tear us all apart? that judge it the white headress will make you learn.
2007-02-16 20:17:34 · answer #6 · answered by juan.hunglo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get their lies on tape and then let him listen to them.
If he cannot trust you or back you up then it is an uphill battle that you ought not have to fight!!!
He married you, you married him, you didn't marry his sisters!!!
2007-02-16 20:16:02 · answer #7 · answered by caz_v8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋