My mom puts her social life before me what should I do?

Question

My mom is a single mom and she always is going out and partying. I'vv tryed talking to her she just doesnt listen. I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

This is hard because I had the same problem and as a young girl this wasnt always a good situation to be in when she brought strange men home.

Needless to say as I look back, I handled it wrong but I still can't see a better way to deal with it.

I went and partied whenever she was out. Sometimes I just hung with close friends, I even got close to my Best Friends parents, until they found out why I stayed away from home so much and called the Police.

Do what you can to surround yourself with friends and any other family. Maybe your mom is going through something that will pass as she realizes what a great kid you are.

Answer 2

Jordan, This is a hard one. I had a girlfriend who recently (about a year ago) divorced and unfortunately choose the same path as your Mom. I know her child tried talking to her about it and it would work for a week or two and then she fell right back into her old routine again. Finally her daughter came to some of her mothers close friends (that were not necessarily partying with her) to help her confront her mother about how she was acting and hurting her by putting her last. This did help! Sometimes people put themselves before their child and don;t really recognize the negative effects it is having on their own children. You may want to try a heartfelt letter if you feel uncomfortable approaching her friend. This one needs an intervention my dear, you must know someone your mom looks up to that just might be able to talk some sense into her. I am sorry you are experiencing this and I hope she realizes the preciouse time she is waisting on such nonsense. She will only live to regret what she is doing when it is already too late. Hang in there kid...I hope she see's the light.

Answer 3

Are you over 18? If your not then talk to her and tell her how you are feeling. If she still does not listen try writing her a letter. While your doing all of this, seek a counselor or someone close to you that may be able to guide you in the right direction as to the next step. Do not take any drastic measures because in the end you always lose. Its something about not being well thought out and stuff like that. Talk to your relatives and see what they say and if they have a solution. And if you still do not have a solid plan B, Keep looking for the answer until you find it. You see life is funny like that, once you find the right answer everything falls into place. All the while, you keep trying to communicate with your mother. Be patient and dont act before thinking, trust me you will save alot of heartache. Good luck....

Answer 4

You don't mention how old you are. You don't mention if your mother is divorced, her age and etc. If you are in your teens maybe she is going through a period where she is scared that she is going to be alone once you finally flee the nest(a lot of women can not make it without a man under them.) Maybe she was young when you where born and doesn't want to grow up and feel her true age.

Bottom line: Ask her seriously why she doesn't want to stay home with you and watch television and play video games? Tell her that you would like that and that you need her there, here and now. Tell her that you miss her and that you are lonely and you need your mother because you feel that you miss out on things when she isn't home, tell her you want to know her and where you fit in her life, tell her you need to know your roots, your family history, you want to know about what a parent means beyond clothes, food and shelter beyond her make up, party clothes and all of that remind her that things happen every day both for the good and for the bad and you don't want her to set down when she is no longer able to run, or move hearing all of the stuff that should of been shared with every moment condensed into a few things given possibly in her last moment or vice versa if something happened to you. Tell her how you feel and why you want to learn more about her because she is your mother,your key to knowledge and one of the first faces that you saw and the first heartbeat that you heard.

Answer 5

Well you have done the right think trying to talk with her. Unfortunatley It is not because she does not love you, too many times single parents are afraid of being left alone when their kids grow up, so they frantically search for someone, forgetting that they have a kid that is waiting on the side lines. I am sorry that you have to go through this. Also sometimes after a divorce the parent looses confidence in themselves and are constantly looking for someone to validate that they look good and have something to offer. Maybe you could try doing that for your Mom, she needs to find something more positive, maybe suggest that she goes to school and gets a new career, this would help her to put her energy into something positive and would make her feel good.

Answer 6

Maybe your mom was doing this to save her sanity. Maybe she was very miserable 4 some reason,at the time. Does your mom spend time w/ you when you r able too? If she does Im sure she just needed time 4 her to be w/ friends. She does need her own times but it should not affect your life 90% of the time. Talk to her and understand it has no effect about the way she feels towards you . Im sure she loves you very much. You should want your mom to have friends and it is always nice 4 them to include you OCCASIONALLY but not always. Someday you'll be a Mom& if your Mom doesn't have friends what would she do? You & your mom should agree on and come up w/ communication as to your time together & her time w/ friends. Don't forget somewhere in there you need time w/ YOUR friends!!!! Its a busy life Dear....

Answer 7

Jordan learn from her.. its never too old to party..
Maybe u shud start partying man.. ok not everyday but still its her lifestyle..

On the serious side if u really want her to listen to u then do as she does.. dont come home for 3 days without any information.. she is a mom and will be bound to get angry for being away without any info ..tell her its going to be like that if she doesnt change herself..tell her u care about her in the same way that she does about u..

Answer 8

It sucks, that's true. I think that you are going to have to just tough it out on your own for awhile. I think that when you try talking to your mom she hears you and she probably has all intentions of doing something about it, but her lonliness is getting the best of her right now. Bear with her and hopefully this won't last too long. Realize that your not alone, it happens to alot of kids. Hang out with friends - but don't turn to bad things - show everybody (especially your mom) how good you are at everything you do and at getting the things that are most important in your life. Maybe it will help to open her eyes!

Answer 9

I'm sorry you are going through this. I did as well but I made the wrong choices as to what was fillling the "void", no family time or structure. Your mom needs to have a reality check. I'm 37 yrs. old and still hold some resentment towards my mom because of her absence. Where's your dad or is that wrong to ask? Tell someone she is close to but not her party buddies. Maybe your aunt, uncle, Grandparents, your nieghbors or your fiends' parents. Someone who would let her know this is serious and to grow up. There's a time to party and theres a time to wake up and grow up. If not for your own sake but for hers too. I only wish the best and my heart goes out to you. Please be strong and be safe.. Let us know what happens. .

Answer 10

Hi !!!

I think is the way probably you are telling her. Try telling her that you miss being or doing things with her. Tell her that you worry just like she worries about you, that something would happen to her.

Make her conscious, that you really want a mother in your life and that is affecting you greatly!!!

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, as I'm a mother myself, and I always tried my best to take care for my children as first priority.

If it helps, even show her this attempt for you to get answers, probably she notice the urgency of your concern!!!

I hope it works, and if you are not doing it yet, pray, because GOD listens, to your heart.

GOD BLESS YOU & HAPPY LIFE

A.Z.