How should I come out?

Question

I consider myself to be bisexual (I'm probably a 1 1/2 or a 2 on the Kinsey scale) so how should I come out?

I'm scared because I don't want girls to think that I have automatic crushes on them, and I don't want guys to hit on me because they think that I'm willing to have a threesome with them and another girl.

How should I explain how bisexual I am??? I'm definitely more attracted towards guys so I don't want girls to freak out at me... aahhh I'm so frustrated about what to do!

Answer 1

Tell people based on how close you are and don't worry about their reaction. If you thought you'd be better off not telling them, then you're probably not close enough to tell them anyways or they're not a good enough friend to be worth the time.

Answer 2

Your concerns are valid, but the real question is "come out to who?" The only one(s) that need to know are those that it would directly effect... like your significant other and any woman you might play with.

If your significant other doesn't understand, then there could be some relationship problems down the road since you will never be able to be who you really are with him, and sooner or later you'll resent him for making you repress that part of yourself to satisfy his insecurities. (This is a generalization here... I don't know if you have a boyfriend or husband... I'm just throwing-out a scenario.)

But I know what you mean. People have the idea that if you are heterosexual that you are only interested in certain people of the opposite sex. But, if you're bisexual you interested in everyone of the same sex. You especially this attitude with homophobic men towards gay men. And I laugh because most of the time I think wow... I'm surprised anyone if attracted to you... period. LOL

And of course, some guys will play the FMF threesome angle, like you say.

My wife is bisexual, and the only ones that know are those of her closest friends (who are open-minded and don't care anyway) and those in the circle we swing with. There is no reason for our families, neighbors, or extended circle of friends to know. It's none of their business. And I like I mentioned above, and you probably already know, she is no more attracted to every woman then she is to every man.

Besides... I don't look at it as her being "bisexual". I look at it as her simply being "sexual".

Answer 3

Well Liz how do you know that you are really bisexual. I mean if you are then don't be ashamed of it... If people are really your friends then they will respect your sexuality. But for some people you do have to explain to them because they get all freaked out about it.. I had a friend was gay and she was scared to tell me and when she first did I didn't want to be around her but when I realized that she had feelings just like me and that she respected me as a friend and my opinion then it was ok with me. I mean I didn't uphold it but I didn't judge her because I am not GOD..

Answer 4

You should always tell the truth. If people are going to make false assumptions about you--that is their problem--not yours. People always make assumptions about others...whether they are gay or straight or naturally blonde or whatever..Don't let it get to you. Just be you. And you don't have to tell everyone at the same time --like you were on a big stage doing it. Just talk to your friends individually if you like. Show them the question you just asked here...that says it all.

Answer 5

You are certainly ahead of yourself playing out scenarios that haven't even happened yet...(or have they in your mind?) To be safe (and honest to yourself & others) if asked, you can say "I'm not really labelling myself...if I feel comfortable with a person, then we can see what we are both feeling good about doing. But first, I have to respect myself, and then if someone else respects that, there are possibilities." Or something along those lines.Good luck!

Answer 6

never be afraid to tell anyone about your sexuality, if they freak out give them time to adjust to the fact that you may be bi-sexual their is nothing wrong with that at all. You'll feel much better after it. If your friends are true friends it wouldnt matter to them what you were. Dont be afraid of how you feel...if you need to talk add me [e-mail]

Answer 7

Just start off slowly...just tell the people ur cool wit or trust. From there, you'll get comfortable wit it and then you'll be able to tell more people. Some will come slowly to accept and some will come quickly to forget.

Answer 8

come out to only those who yu have feelings to. when my step sister came out that she was bi well she is married and she perclaims her self as pauly amourous. well she just said it. i mean if people want to freak out like you want them or something just let them know not to flatter themselves. you do not see women freaking out on men knowing they are straight like o my god he wants me because he is straight. if people freak out like that when you have not made any advance toward them then that is their problem. studies have shown that homo phobes are like that because they are harboring some of those feelings as well. they just do not want to face their own bi curiousness. you will know when to come out to whom ever you want. it is not a binding rule that you HAVE to tell everyone you meet what youur sexual preference is. good luck to you.