Help baby bond with father?

Question

My 7 week old son is very attached to me. I love it except every now and then I need a break. I try to get out of the house for a hour or so and come back to screaming. Dad says this happens every time. As soon as I leave he will wake up and scream no matter what dad does to help him. It really hurts his feelings that his child doesn't yet except him. What can we do to make my son more comfortable around his dad? He is a great dad I have seen him with him he does everything just right our son just likes me Help.

Answer 1

This is tough I know but it is remarkable how they do change. He is very young to have separation anxiety. Here is an idea that I have. When you are home together, sit close to each other so that baby is actually in both of your laps. Hand him back and forth and both of you coo and talk to him.

Babies recognize the smell of their moms especially if they are nursing. Your husband probably is gone most of the day and baby is used to you and your smell. Hold one of the baby blankets, burp rags or even one of your shirts close to your skin and leave that with your husband. He should drape it on his shoulder so baby will still smell you. I would also hold a burp rag close to you and leave that under the babies head so he can still smell you.

You may find that playing classical music or instrumental music that is soothing will help him. He may like the sound of running water, the hair dryer, the fan over the sink or you just singing to him. If he likes any of those sounds, tape them and play them while you are gone.

It would be very good for your husband to relax for a few minutes when he gets home and then he just carries baby around while dinner is getting started. Your husband needs to hold him almost nonstop in the evening. It won't be long, really, before he feels comfortable with him too.

Also, if your baby is growing fast and has a lot of growth spurts, he may want and need to eat more. If you can express extra milk or make up bottles, Daddy needs to feed him at least once an evening. Have him hold the cloth or blanket between him and baby so baby smells you. I know doctors say not to give them bottles but this is a priority issue and baby won't stop breast feeding because of one or two bottles a day. I am a nanny to several babies and they all are happy with me but with some babies it just takes time. Perseverance is the key.

Also, if he holds baby facing out, it sometimes calms them. That way they can look out at their new world. He still needs to make sure the head doesn't bobble around. I have found that some babies only want to be held close by mom or mom and dad and they are wanting to be able to look around. One baby that I could not calm, I finally held in front of me and just sang and sang in her face. In a very short time, she became comfortable with me. Just keep trying.

In another 2 weeks, your little guy will change a lot and will need tummy time and laying on the floor or in his crib or somewhere safe to bat at toys that are above him. He will develop more security every week and the growth spurts will lengthen out.

Hope this helps you. I'm praying for you.

Most importantly, Daddy needs to stay very calm. It is what the child needs. But baby does have to be made to have Daddy time.

Answer 2

I am a dad of a 9 month old and I remember very well experiencing this myself. In fact, be prepared for a similar reaction to other relatives and friends that spend time with your baby

First of all, understand this is very typical!!! Infants have a strong attachment with the mom for obvious reasons. I remember my daughter would cry when I would hold her and the second I handed her over to my wife she immediately stopped. I felt like crap. I learned that persistance is the key !! Continue to have him spend time with him doing things like helping with baths, changing diapers, and feeding if possible. These experiences might not seem like much, but serve as excellent ways to bond. After my daughter felt comfortable around me, she went through a similar experience with my parents. All my mom/dad had to do was make eye contact with her and she flipped out. That seems so long ago, because now when my parents see my daughter, she always greets them with a great big smile.

Most babies go through an adjustment phase. So tell dad not to give up or take your son's reactions personally!! And, hey, babies are fickle. Before you know it, dad might be the one baby can't bear to be apart from.

Answer 3

I know this sounds obvious, but make sure he has a full belly (I assume you're breastfeeding). Have Dad try a baby carrier--some way of snuggling him and walking around, to recreate the softness of Mom and the motion he was used to in the womb. Check out "Happiest Baby on the Block" for ideas about swaddling and 'shh-ing' and creating a calming environment. And maybe don't go out while he's sleeping--if you got him to sleep and then he wakes up and you're not there that can be confusing and worrying for a baby. Let Dad try the carrier and such while you are around, so he learns to be comforted by him as well. When you are both there, don't always rush in when baby cries, otherwise he'll learn that only Mommy=comfort. Let Dad find his own way, he has to. But of course for the first few months of life baby needs to be pretty attached to mom for survival--you're the food source and the soft warm body he lived in for 10 months! Good luck.

Answer 4

The feeding process is very important to bonding. Do you breast feed or bottle feed? Check to see how dad is positioning baby during feedings, cause comfort may be an issue. Give dad time alone with baby even when you are in the house, and don't give in when baby starts crying. My daughter is the same way with her dad, cause he works night shifts and can't be here all the time. We spend a lot of time playing together to get her comfortable to being with him alone. So far it is working.
Let dad know that it is perfectly normal for baby to be attached to mom.

Answer 5

I had this same problem with my daughter so I feel for you. I just read an articile in parent magazine.
I think I remember reading that if you leave you should leave a shirt or a blanket that has your smell on it and Dad could wrap him up with it. I promise he will grow out of it. My daughter did and now she loves my husband. He needs to remember that you spend 95% more time with him so he knows your scent. Just tell him to give it some time. Good Luck :D

Answer 6

I think the dad should start feeding or playing with him or change him when your around so your son can see you and trust that you are near if he needs you.

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Answer 7

try both of you playing with him at the same time. compliment your husband. and reassure him...if dad is comfy the baby will be but if daddy is tense the baby will pick up on it...try picking a time when you know he will be napping.....good luck

Answer 8

have dad feed him, and put him to sleep.... even if you have t over look him the first couple times, dont worry it will get easier

Answer 9

Leave for more than an hour.