I feel guilty, but she's got to take a bottle! Am I doing the right thing?

Question

My daughter, 8 months, has been exclusivly breastfed since birth. I wanted to give her the healthiest start in life that I could, and up until now didn't have a reason to give her a bottle. My dilemma is this, our savings are low and one income isn't doing it for us anymore. I need to get a job! However, I don't want to start putting in applications until I know my daughter will be alright for at least 6-8 hours while I'm at work. I've tried everything from leaving her with someone else to give her the bottle, letting her get really hungry and trying first thing in the morning, every size, shape, flow of nipple you can imagine, and she refuses. So I've arranged to leave her with my mom and sister first thing in the morning tomorrow and they are convinced when she's hungery enough, she'll drink. My mom is the most loving, patient person I know and if anyone can do this, she can. I just feel very guilty leaving my daughter when I know she'll get hungry. Help!

I use expressed milk when trying to feed her from a bottle.

I try every day to get her used to solids. She refuses cereal so the doctor recommended fruits. She will eat a few bites, but then clamps her stubborn mouth shut and won't eat any more.

We have a freezer full of baggies containing breast milk. Problem is, she just won't take the bottle no matter what's in it. :(

Answer 1

have you tried holding her to your breast and feeding bottle at same time? pumping your milk will help things too. best to go in stages, but your mothers way may be neccisary.

Answer 2

Well this is a little after the fact, but maybe next time introduce the bottle earlier with breast milk in it. How have you gone eight months and never had to have anyone else feed her! That is impressive! I am sure your mom will be able to handle it. I would pump so the bottle has breast milk and not formula in it. Having her have to take a bottle and switch to formula might be too much change all at once. Also, you not being there so she doesn't have any other option will help. Lastly, I would express some milk on the nipple so she gets the idea that there is milk in there. You have to figure she has no idea what to do with this thing since she is sucking by choice now and not just reflex.

Answer 3

That's a tricky one. You are so dedicated, pumping and all--good for you for giving your daughter the best. My first son wouldn't take a bottle either. I started back to work when he was around 9 months but very very part-time (like 4 hours two times a week). He had some food with the nanny and then he nursed the SECOND I got back in the door. If you haven't already found a job, can you do a combination of part-time work and work from home? There's so many different ways to work, if you are in the position to get creative with it.

Another thing I would try is other ways of getting the food and milk into her--maybe she can sip from a little cup? My 6 month old LOVES to sip from a cup (as a novelty--he doesn't get much yet), and feed himself with a spoon. I think when we got desperate with my first son we even used an eye dropper at times! I just read some posts on another website and that's what some parents did at this age--sippy cups and syringes. I wish you luck and I hope you can find a scenario that works for both you and your daughter. Keep up the breastfeeding when you are with her--it's so important, isn't it.

Answer 4

Way to go for continuing to breastfeed!

I went back to work when my now 10 y.o. DD was 7 months old. I ended up getting a split-shift job so that i could work , come home and nurse her and then go back (it was a school-age daycare.)

Perhaps you could work nights for a few months. That's assuming she sleeps several hours at night.

Other choices may be: to introduce her to a sippy, a cup with a straw, or even a regular cup.

Also, as far as solids go. Have you offered her non-mushy foods? Will she chew on things like crackers or (my kids favorite when teething) wheat-free frozen waffles!-) My son had a "safe feeder" at that age. Its a little mesh thing with a handle that you can put chunks of solid food in. it makes a mess, but its tastier than mush!

Please don't leave her for a whole day without notice. She will feel abandoned by you. Gently introduce her to the idea, an hour then two, etc... So that she will not be fearful and clingy and afraid of grandma's when you do go back to work.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Ok, firstly breathe, it's ok.

Now if you have tried bottles, and sippy cups, and regular cups and she won't take anything from anybody then there is one other simple solution.

Most 8 months old are completely capable of going 8 hours without food, generally they are encouraged to do this at night, but there is no reason your daughter can't go 8 hours during the day, provided that she is allowed to make up for it during the day. It's called reverse cycling. It will be easier if you co-sleep.

And don't worry about solids, she doesn't need them. Though I will tell you breastfed babies are far more likely to refuse babyfood and eat only table food. Breastmilk flavour changes all the time with garlic and spices. Babyfood is really bland in comparison.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/pumping_decrease.html
Encourage baby to "reverse cycle" - reverse cycling is when baby nurses frequently when mom and baby are together (usually at night) and takes little milk when mom & baby are separated.

Alternative Feeding Methods
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/alternative-feeding.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html

http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/solids-how.html
7 - 9 monthsWatch baby's cues - this is particularly easy if baby nurses beforehand and most/all of the solids are offered to baby to self-feed. Increase solids gradually if baby is interested, with a maximum of 2 meals per day.


Check out why it is safer and better to feed babies tablefood not baby food.
borstvoeding.com/voedselintroductie/vast_voedsel/rapley_guidelines.html

Answer 6

I found these AWESOME bottles from The First Years called BreastFlow bottles. They have a dual nipple design that simulates suction and compression just like a breast. The outer nipple is soft and shaped like a breast, the inner nipple acts like the milk ducts. The baby will get small sips until the outer nipple fills up, then it is just like a letdown with a gush so to speak. There are even drainage tabs on the outer nipple to allow fluid to go back into the bottle.

I breastfeed and have NO problems with nipple confusion with this bottle. It might be a great way to have your baby get a bottle. Pump your milk and serve it in this bottle.


They are a bit expensive though and near impossible to find in stores (I think it might be a new product). You have to order them online.

Answer 7

You have given her a really good start by feeding for as long as you have and should be proud of that fact. A lot of people aren't able or can't be bothered to in the first place, so don't feel guilty about weaning her off. Have you tried going direct to a sippy cup or something equivalent she may bypass bottles altogether and this would be much easier for you and her in the long run.You say you have breastfed exclusively, ? has she started on solids yet? this may also help. As for going hungry, they don't hold a grudge because you have let them cry a few minutes to fall asleep nor will she in this instance. They have unconditional love and by the sounds of it she knows she comes from a very loving, secure and caring environment, you just have to do whats best for her.

Answer 8

if you can pump your breast milk then put it in the bottle she may go for it. Also try water or watered down apple juice. she may go for something different. Give your mom the assortment of bottles you have and she can try different ones. Have you tried the Playtex disposables or the avent their nipples are more like a breast shape. She will not starve she will get it, it will just take time. You can also try a sippy cup or bottles with a handle so she can hold it herself.

Answer 9

I have 2 babies where they would never drink from a bottle but I think you're mom is right - if they get desperate enough they will begin to drink and get used to it. It's the same way if baby gets formula in the hospital -they may not want to take the breastmilk. Don't feel guilty - if it's between that new wardrobe, a new car and breastfeeding - then shame on you for not making a few sacrifices while baby is young! But in your situation you're doing this to put food on the table - don't feel guilty - you're doing what's best for your family in the long run. WOW! and thank goodness for a great mom that you have who is willing, able and has enough energy and love in her heart to help you!

Answer 10

Don't feel guilty (easier said than done right?). You said it yourself, you are trying to give your baby the best start in life. Getting a job and making a more secure future for her is doing just that. You are already a step ahead of the game. You care enough for your child to feel guilt about having to make difficult choices. Give yourself a break and realize you are being a good parent. Best of luck.

Answer 11

my son was a booby baby too wouldn;t take anything but breast to drink till after a yr thats when i found these cups they are sippy cups but they has straws and a slower flow and he really likes them and they don't leak i suggest you get you daughter these since she hasn't had to learn to tip a cup for this long its harder for her to learn now if you get a straw she can drink while on the move and that'll be very appealing

these are the ones i buy at my local walmart but i think they have them just about anywhere that carries baby supplies pick one up on your way !!!:D

PS i would try straight apple juice (just until she will take the cup) it sweet and she'll want to try it :D