Caught him once two yrs. ago cybering to women & confronted him with it. Case closed so I thought as he promised me it wouldn't happen again. Wrong! Caught him on myspace.com writing several women telling them how beautiful they are, etc. He's really good to me, will do anything I ask, and is the best husband in every way except this. He works, I stay home to care for his Mom who has alzheimers. I get so lonesome for company, and then when he gets home he tells me he's working on bills, etc on the pc when he's really not. Yes, I have proof, but am not ready to confront him yet. Since he's repeating the same behavior I think it's going to take more than just discussing this time. Any suggestions from anyone??? We don't have intimacy in our life because he's not able, but because he's so good to me I have been ok with it. Why do you think he's flirting when he can't do anything about it even if he should me someone he's talking to online? Beats me!!! Your opinions please!
2007-02-16 16:12:54 · 13 answers · asked by okmyrna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
men in nature are cheaters
and ill get sick if i have that kind of man
and my pride would never let me put up with that crap
2007-02-16 16:17:57 · answer #1 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The guy has a fantasy addiction and can't (won't) stop. You don't say why you can't have "intimacy" but if it is because of erectile dysfunction, he may be able to get some help for that. On the other hand, intimacy isn't all about sex, it's a lot more. He's channeling his intimacy to a fantasy world for some reason instead of to the person that needs his attention most. You are a noble person for taking care of his mother, but just being grateful to him for treating you well is not much of a relationship. He may respond to couples therapy. But, this Internet stuff has got to stop. He's in a closed loop of hopeless dreams and wishes that can never bring him true happiness. See if you can get him to go with you to counseling. If not, go yourself while he watches mom.
2007-02-16 16:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he have ed? Why do you say he is not physically able to be intimate with you? He works. Does he travel? I understand that he likes being on line with other women. Viewing am sure. What I see from information given here is that he is being dishonest. You said that. But I also suspect he is being dishonest about his inability to be intimate. He most likely is. Sorry to say. Just not with you. He has a mother with Alzheimer's. He will go to any length to protect the fact that he has a reliable caregiver for her. Which he should. But not at the expense of you or your marriage. There are many resources available to assist with his mother's care.hospice and respite care. Your local Alzheimer's Association. You are the one that is left alone. You deserve to be respected and loved. Not just for what you give. But for who you are. No offense or anything hurtful intended. But I suggest you discuss how you feel to him. Only you can initiate a change for the better. Hopefully he is willing to. If not you will at least know more than you do now. Good luck to you.
2007-02-16 16:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I know how you feel im going through the same thing with my husband, Is he just flirting or cheating, it depends on what proof you have. Flirting on the computer but unable to get aroused is him just trying to still feel like a man probably, and to ashamed to flirt with you when he can't deliver the can be humilating. Now if you see him or hear him with another women like talking to him on the phone and you hear another women in the back ground while he is driving and you know he is not alone and it can't be anyone else walking around because he is in a car, or you see him kissing someone goodbye, or meeting someone that is cheating, my kind of proof. councling maybe or try getting on the computer and chating up with others to see if he gets the hint. unless he say's it doesn't bother him and if that is the case he is either cheating and don't care or he is a lier.
2007-02-16 17:21:26 · answer #4 · answered by bella767676 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His pride is shot to hell if he is not able to be intimite with you. Men want to be able to satisfy their woman. He can't do it, and this is a deep harsh blow to his self-esteem. I would cover it up as much as possible, but I would feel worthless. The fact that you are "okay" without intimacy because he is a good man suggests that he might also feel like a welfare case, like he isn't worthy but you'll stand by him because at least the boy is trying something. If he can't be physically intimite with you, then he can't be with anyone, and the myspace thing is serving as a sort of drug that gives him the temporary illusion of sexual prowess. Don't beat him over the head with this right away, but try to use this as an opportunity to get inside his head and try to figure out how he sees things. If he is a manipulative jerk, it will show itself soon and you can take action. But if he is depressed or feeling unworthy or helpless, you can get it out in the open and get help. Good luck.
2007-02-16 17:25:16 · answer #5 · answered by Paul 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the guy has a fantasy addiction and can't (won't) stop. you do no longer say why you won't be in a position to have "intimacy" yet whilst it relatively is as a results of erectile ailment, he are in a position to get some help for that. on the different hand, intimacy isn't all approximately intercourse, this is lots extra. he's channeling his intimacy to a fantasy international for some reason particularly of to the guy who needs his interest maximum. you're a noble individual for looking after his mom, yet basically being grateful to him for treating you properly isn't lots of a relationship. He might respond to couples medical care. yet, this information superhighway stuff has have been given to stop. he's in a closed loop of hopeless desires and desires that could by no potential deliver him actual happiness. See in case you may get him to bypass with you to counseling. If no longer, bypass your self on a similar time as he watches mom.
2016-10-02 06:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He somewhere is lacking with himself. He will probably not tell you what. But, he does this because it makes feel good. What ever happens in the real world does not have to be on line. You and him needs to talk about this maybe so professional help if he has probable talking to you. Both of you are feeling bad that not good for the relationship.
2007-02-16 16:25:15 · answer #7 · answered by Kain j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is ashamed of the fact that there is no intimacy in your marriage..he knows he can flirt with you..he also knows..he can not finish the job..so to speak..so he goes on line..to stroke his bruised ego...on there he can be anyone he wants to be..these women do not know him..he does not have to worry about intimacy with them..because he is never going to meet them..he is not able to be intimate with you..he is ashamed of..not being able to please you..it makes him feel bad about himself..to the point he can not face you..so he uses these women as an escape..not to deal with the problems of intimacy in his marriage to you..even when you confront him about these women..it still takes the eyes off the real issue..which is his inability to be intimate with you..he is doing it to take the eyes off the real issue of intimacy in his marriage to you..the way it makes him feel..not to be able to please you..in that way..He has always been good to you in every other way..so it makes him feel like he is not a man..not to be able to please you this way..I think you should talk to him about it again..
2007-02-16 16:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by noga 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With his limitations, he needs to have a woman feel like he is the man he wants to be. I am sure he won't try to meet anyone because he can't back up what he has been saying to them. Until you know he is meeting someone, I would let it slide.
He needs a fantasy
2007-02-16 16:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a guy i met on that trashy website. I met a man on there that I didn't know was married. After he told me I broke up with him. I was disgusted. He posing as a single man with all those female friends sending him sexy comments and stuff like that. I vow to get a computer illiterate man next time.
2007-02-16 16:23:16 · answer #10 · answered by Bu Tran 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first hand i would say its all wrong cause you and him are married and he is lusting with his eyes with another woman and he could just be looking at you at all times how can a man first say he love you and lust after other women ,they cant thats not love at all we as women need to just keep our men lifted up in prayer they deal with so much. yes i understand you say he good to you but it still not right look at whats its doin to you ,you are saying you are lonely you taking care his mother and the home also thats a lot you have to deal with also i know its not a easy job he need to be telling you how beautful you look and love on you and spend time with you alone and yes you need to talk to him and let him know how you feeling cause if you dont it will go worst and you dont want it to end up at the end of the rope for your marriage please put god first in this marriage cause you all need the help only he can help in this matter god blesss you much peace .
2007-02-16 16:35:49 · answer #11 · answered by BROKEN AND BEAUTFUL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋