I try to do stuff with her...she's living with her ex boyfriend right now and thats not a good thing either...and she'll get drunk whenever she can...and she's not even 21...its been like this for awhile...i've tried to help her but she won't listen. I've asked her if she needs AA or anything and she tells me "its not that bad" but she tells me she's an alcholic. Any suggestions? Or should i just butt out....since she won't listen to me?
2007-02-16 16:10:02 · 6 answers · asked by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I hate this question. I truly do. Even more, I hate the answer.
There is nothing you can do to make her change her habit. It does not matter how good a friend you may be, or wish to be, you are and you will continue to be helpless.
I tried everything I could think of, including doctors, physchologists and psychiatrists, as well as AA and Al-Anon.
After fifteen years, (which it took for the kids to reach maturity.) filed for divorce. That got her clean, and she stayed that way for a year. Now she has gone back to it.
Lesson? No one can make it happen except her. Alcoholism may be the only disease that can be cured by only one person: the person who has it.
2007-02-16 16:23:05 · answer #1 · answered by Ef Ervescence 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could attend an analon meeting it is for friends and relatives of alcholics and helps understand the patterns and best help the loved one.
Also I recommend you take the time to read the page on the AA site dedicated to you know an alcholic (see below)
2007-02-17 00:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by natioushka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can see that your a really good friend and you are trying to help her out. Except she doesn't want to take your advice. There isn't much you can do now. One day she'll feel crappy and one day she'll come to her senses, I hope. All I can say is you need to be there for her even if she doesn't want to listen to you. Good Luck with you and your friend.
2007-02-17 00:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by LiveLifeTheWayYouWish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please consider this: There is only one person on this huge old earth you can change: yourself. She must want help (not need it, but WANT help) for anybody to do any good. What can you do? Tough love. Do not enable her addiction by buying her drinks or tolerating risky behaviour with you. Look up what an "enabler" is and how easy it is to fall into the trap of becoming one of her excuses for her bad choices. Until she wants to change there's nothing you can do. Alcoholics are number one liars, rationalizers, users and deniers (sp?). Until they decide to change NOTHING will help.
2007-02-17 00:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess til your friend thinks it's bad enough she wont try to get help. It had to get bad enough for me to quit and I did go to aa and its not like she thinks it is. I actually liked it cuz everyone understood me which is weird cuz i didnt think anyone did. you could try to trick and tell her you are wanting to quit drinking and want to see what aa's all about and ask her to come with to support ya.
2007-02-17 00:24:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no..just don`t butt out! u r her friend ..if she won`t listen..try filming her on a bad one and showing it to her...Reality bites!!
2007-02-17 00:34:13 · answer #6 · answered by heather h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋