dEMOCRAT jOKES?

Question

ANYONE KNOW ANY GOOD DEMOCRAT JOKES? OR REPUBLICAN FOR THAT MATTER......I JSUT NEED SOME JOKES!

Answer 1

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Answer 2

Go to google, type in democrat jokes and or other jokes, there are hundreds of websites to read all you want. The only Democrat joke I know of is Hillary Clinton, she is not only a joke, she want even buy a razor from a dollar store to shave her legs, yet she will pay hundreds of dollars for pants to wear.

Answer 3

Ronald Reagan loved to tell stories, and was the master joke teller.

Every Wednesday, R.R. used to have lunch with Bush Sr., who was his vice president. One day at lunch RR and Bush Sr. had the following conversation (all true)

RR: George did you know that condoms are one of the United States' biggest exports?

Bush Sr.: No Mr. President, I was not aware of that.

RR: And did you know that stamped on every condom is the phrase, "Proudly made in the United States of America"?

Bush Sr.: That's very interesting, I had never noticed that.

RR: Well George, you'd have to unroll the condom ALL THE WAY to see it !

Answer 4

Republican jokes? Right! Democratic jokes??? What's left!

Answer 5

Democrats remind me of the joke about the Soviet Premier (this was before the USSR broke up) who announced to his country:

"Comrades, when I first came to power, our country stood at the lip of a great abyss. I am proud to say that since then we have taken a bold step forward."

Answer 6

George Bush was having a cabinet meeting.
In walks one of his advisors and came over to the president and whispered in his ear, "Mr. President, 3 Brazilian soldiers have been killed in Iraq". The president's face goes stone cold and white and he tears up. He is beside himself and he asks, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion"?

Answer 7

My favorite political humor site is Daniel Kurtzman - About.com Political Humor Guide - you may also sign up to receive their newsletter, you may also search for political humor on the web.

Keep Looking!

Answer 8

here's one
don't believe that! democrats are full of crap

and i don't call them democrats i call them democraps

i saw this on a bumper sticker
I'd rather go hunting with dick Chaney than ride in a car with ted Kennedy , irsreal.

Answer 9

Some liberal teachers in my school were holding a "strike" outside my school to "inform" people about how they need (want) a pay raise....

i thought that was funny...

Answer 10

here's one
don't believe that! democrats are full of crap

and i don't call them democrats i call them democraps

i saw this on a bumper sticker
I'd rather go hunting with dick Chaney than ride in a car with ted Kennedy