Honest opinions please. if it sucks, say it sucks and tell me why so i can improve. thanks.
love can never truly be defined
with such simple things like words
it heals the soul, body, and mind
and sets one free like a soaring little bird
in time love has the power
to mend broken spirits and broken hearts
it can start off relationships by the hour
a different person, a brand new start
and theres...
i know this love is forbidden
we must go our separate ways
our secret must remain hidden
we'll meet again someday
but the feelings too strong
i just cant let you go
i know this is wrong,
but i want you to know
i cant take the pain
we cant be torn apart
i feel like ive been slain
its torn a hole in my heart
and just in case you were wondering, it was for my english project.
2007-02-16 14:21:30 · 9 answers · asked by knight of cydonia 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
by the way, they're two separate poems.
2007-02-16 14:31:26 · update #1
It's pretty good, but I think you should fix it up so it flows better. You should probably make sure the rhyme scheme is constant thoughout the poem, and fix it so that it has maybe the same number of syllables in each line, or every other line. If you didn't get any of that, just ignore it. I don't even know if I know what I'm talking about.
2007-02-16 14:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the poem, however, it has two different flavors in it. At the beginning you're giving your idea of a definition of love in general. The rest of the poem seems very personal and doesn't quite fit. They seem like to seperate poems. It's good though.
2007-02-16 14:28:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably ought to rhyme even though it desires to hit my thoughts. i imagine clarity of expression is important to boot. i do not opt to 2d wager what i'm interpreting about. I continuously seek for what I time period "poetic gemstones"in the textual content.
2016-11-03 21:38:52 · answer #3 · answered by barn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good
2007-02-16 14:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are both ok..first one is the better of the two by far, in my opinion
2007-02-16 14:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they were really good!
2007-02-16 14:28:23 · answer #6 · answered by Monster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cool
2007-02-16 14:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by amberharris20022000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey they arent bad....got anymore?
2007-02-16 14:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they r good.
2007-02-16 14:25:59 · answer #9 · answered by Suhmanthuhh(: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋