Please help. . .?

Question

I really need selfconfidence. All I can do is beat myself up and compare myself to others. I'm young (13) and I really try to be happy, but I just keep beating myself up. When I'm with my friends everything is ok, but when i'm at home and someone (espically my little sister) makes an insulting comment to me, I just want to cry. My family isn't mean or abusive (except for my little sister a little) and I didn't used to be like this. Just the year before I was really confident, but now I can't see the good in myself anymore. I've tried just acting confident, and it worked for a day, but then I just broke down even worse then normal. No one I know knows about it and I really try to help others to make myself feel better (even though it wasn't originally done to be selfish). Nothing works and anything good that I do I just can't remember or see anymore. I feel really weak for having to ask for help here, but I don't want anyone to know about it, and I just want to get better. Please help!

Answer 1

Sounds like you may be going through some hormonal changes in your body, which is common for your age. Everyone is a little different; some people are emotional or sensitive, others can be angry or hyperactive. Remember you are the big sister. Do you best to set the example for your little sister and keep in mind that she is going to be more immature than you. She may be aware of you 'growing up' and responding by being more obnoxious so she can hold onto your attention. Get involved in lots of activities and with friends. As you start high school, you'll find yourself with a pretty busy schedule.

Answer 2

Wow! You are saying some things that are identical to what my 13 year old daughter is saying (her little sister bugs her miserably too) and to what I was feeling at your age.

There are so many changes going on in your body right now. It absolutely can effect your moods, your feelings and your thoughts. What is going on isn't necessarily abnormal, but you do need to be able to talk to some adult about how you are feeling. If you don't feel that you can talk to your parent(s), is there a teacher, coach, minister, friend's parent or someone else that you trust?

While your feelings will most likely level out soon, there is also a possibility that you may need some medical attention. Please don't feel ashamed, you're going through a time in life that was difficult for most everyone who has been there. Please find someone you trust and share your feelings with them.

Answer 3

Your experience is shared by many, certainly at your age! I kept a journal all through Jr. High and High School and I really feel that it helped a lot. You are the master of yourself, no one can make you confident and no one can take it away unless you let them. I know that sounds complicated but just go out there and try your best every day. That's all anyone can do.

Answer 4

Ok, listen I used to feel the exact same as you, I used to think, the same as you do!. Anyways, one day I woke up and thought...I don't care...I honestly do not care and guess what? Confidence started pouring out of me and ever since I have been confident (sometimes arrogant haha!) You should realise, that you're young, you will change (I certainly did) and you will become more confident and try and talk to friends, they usually feel the same but are too scared to say it (trust me) I, being young (17), realise it is hard to talk to parents and such but remember you can not let people get you down, people who say "hey you're fat" "hey you're ugly" are trying to take the attention away from themselfs! You'll be amazed at what happens when you're confident! ;)

Answer 5

Sweetie, being 13 sucks. I am nearly 30, but I remember being 13 just like it was yesterday. Unfortunately, you are going through a time when you are trying to figure out who you are and what you want to be like. Your body is changing, and your thoughts and feelings are changing. It is normal (though no less distressing) to lack confidence at this age. In our current society, we see so many images of what we are "supposed" to be like. The truth is that you're in the process of finding out what it means to be you, and whatever that is, it is and will be beautiful. Try to learn to accept who you are without judging yourself or allowing others to judge you.

Answer 6

I know what this is like. I know that it is hard but get excited about something. Get a new hobby as a distraction when you are mad and find a good anger/stress/emotion management techneque to regulate your mood. It should be something you can think of easily. If you need to ask another question to find out some of the techneques.

Answer 7

Surpise other people more and more. It's not a simple to do it. Say something which will be conceived by other people with widely opened eyes. Don't allow anyone to think about you as unnormal. You are not as like others. But try to show them that you are like they. Try to surprise them and call a little smile in their eyes. Everytime, continously play.

Answer 8

Nobody can make you inferior unless you let them. And believe in yourself, cause if you dont nobody else will.