we've been together for 6 months and we want to be married , but today he started a fight with me bcuz he didnt want me to go to my AA club ( I've been going there since before we met ) . He doesnt like that place bcuz he doesnt believe in 12 step recovery . Im not tryingto make him go there either and he still doesnt want me to go there.
How to I win this fight with him an let him know it is NOT alright to tell me where I can and cant go . How do I set my man straight ? I know this is some kind of power trip and I want to know how a lady wins this kind of fight and still maintains her relationship ? Married women , your advice is much appreciated.
2007-02-16 12:16:01 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Well, it sounds like it might be a sign of what your future will be like. But you could try saying, "Honey, I love you and I am with you because I want to be. But things are not going to work out if you try to control me. We need to see what we can do about this problem before it damages our relationship. What ideas do you have on how we can deal with this?"
Best wishes to you, dear!
2007-02-16 12:22:09 · answer #1 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I HATE TO SAY IT......
But I agree with Sky - he should not be telling you where you can and cannot go - that is a power trip that if you allow it to happen, can quickly escalate into a real problem. The next thing you know, he will be telling you what to wear, who to talk to, and controlling every facet of your life.
Stopping you from going to your AA meetings is not helpful, it's hurtful. If you have a drinking problem and he's keeping you from controlling it, it sounds like he's trying to use that as a means to manipulate you. That's not something that someone who is SUPPOSED to care about you does. You might need to take some time off from him, so that you can re-evaluate your feelings about him and the relationship and decide if you want to continue it.
2007-02-16 12:28:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, this isn't what you asked, but I'm going to say it anyway. What kind of man claims to love you and then wants you to stop doing something that is GOOD for you? You don't win an argument with a controller, which is what you're talking about. He wants to be in control of you, your condition, where you go, what you do. NOT good. Think about it. If someone loves you, shouldn't he WANT you to do the thing that is helping you?
2007-02-16 12:20:56 · answer #3 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol is high quality moderately, yet i had a bf that once he drank to lots he became bodily and mentally abusive to me....for this reason i'm now no longer in the relationship and that i'm a lots happier individual now....a sprint drink is high quality yet to no longer the quantity of being violent, yet i might discover it unusual for my modern bf to no longer drink, i might sense that he replaced into lacking out on the relaxing with a view to communicate, yet whilst he's happy no longer eating then so be it!
2016-10-02 06:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you asked women, but I'll say this, as an addition to the useful words of others posted above:
Remind him that the program helped make you the woman you are, the woman he has come to love, and that it's helping you to remain that person, rather than the person you might become if you stopped going.
Good luck.
2007-02-17 19:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, I'm married and in AA. My husband is completely supportive of my recovery. He knows that going to meetings is what keeps me alive. Please e-mail me, I'd be happy to help you out with this.
2007-02-16 12:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by pollywog 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he doesn't have your best interest at heart.If he really loved you,he would understand your need to remain sober.
2007-02-16 12:19:48 · answer #7 · answered by Candi Apples 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋