Mother's, not father's, last name for baby?

Question

A friend of mine is having a baby girl. But her boyfriend doesn't want to get married.

She wants to give the baby her own last name, not her boyfriend's, because there's no marriage with him coming up (probably ever). My friend fortunately doesn't have to depend on her boyfriend for money or any of that.

Her boyfriend doesn't like this, of course. He thought he could pass on his name without any of the legal relationship commitment.

I'm totally with my friend on this. I think she should just go ahead and give her baby her own last name. I mean, why not? I don't really see a problem with this at all.

But what do you think? I mean, is it common to do it that way? I can't see anything negative here - but is there a negative aspect in all of this?

Answer 1

Yes, give the baby her name.

First of all, she will be the one raising the child, and it is much simpler when your name and the baby's are the same. I never changed my name, even when I did get married, and my son has my ex-husband's last name. It's not a huge inconvenience, though, and I don't have to explain anything to anybody - my name is what it is, and his is what it is. Different last names are more and more common these days.

Secondly, she should still collect child support from the father even if she doesn't have to 'depend' on it. After my divorce, I never expected to get any support, so whenever I did get a check, it was a pleasant surprise, and I used it to treat my son to little extra things I otherwise couldn't afford.

The other option is to not even provide the father's name for any of the paperwork. That way he would have absolutely no claim. This would be best if she had reasons to not want him involved with the baby at all. But if she does want him to still be a part of the child's life, then list him as the father, give the baby whatever name she likes, and file for child support. He will then have the option to request a paternity test to verify that he is the father, and he can elect to waive his parental rights and responsibilities.

Single motherhood is common enough that more women are giving the kids their own names. It is what I would most likely do in that situation. I don't see any negative aspect in this, as the only people who would know the entire story are those she chooses to share it with.

Answer 2

First off, remember what you just stated, You have no need for any kind of financial support, so if you do this, then there is no support for you, but you will always have the option to get it, that is the law, yall can get whatever you need, even if you deny the help, and swear that he doesnt have to pay support. Thats the bad thing about this, the guy is stuck reguardless. Thats the double standard that you gals have, with the help from the courts, which isnt right for the guy. If you deny the help then you should not be allowed to get it at anytime. Just remember what you are doing here. Thats in my opinion, if you deny the support than you should not get it. As for the name thing, if he isnt going to be a part of the childs life, and your friend doesnt want him there and thats acceptable with him, then yes, the child should get the girls last (family) name. But be sure he isnt in the life of the child. This is so complicated, I just dont get it, why anyone would try to get pregnant and then deny the father the opportunity to be in the childs life just because of some personal feeling that the woman has about the way SHE wants it. This is so typical of todays society. Stick the man anyway possible and make him the villian, put all the responsibility on him and never her. I always thought it took two to get pregnant, that means two cases of responsibiity, not just on the man. Now dont get too mad about what i said here, but I have personal convictions about how the child support laws are in the country, and how easy it is for the women to achieve their ultimate goals for this. Its truly a double standard when it comes to this kinda thing, and always in favor of the females, and how they have no responsibility on this, but they get more credit than they deserve when they CHOSE this lifestyle, for themselves. Good Luck to you and the father.

Answer 3

traditionally, the child takes the call of the daddy. modern-day-day, the child usually takes the final call of the mummy because of the fact the father and mom are actually not married or the daddy is unknown. regardless of the undeniable fact that, the child does no longer LEGALLY could have the surname of the mummy or the daddy. Betty Smith and Joe eco-friendly ought to call their infant Jaden Garfield in the event that they wanted. I do think of it ought to reason greater subject in some circumstances, regardless of the undeniable fact that that's allowed. I want custom.

Answer 4

if there's no chance of marriage, then why not. i would definitely give my kid my last name under those circumstances.

the only problem is that if they do decide to get married, she might have to pay a fee to get the last name legally changed.

Answer 5

no, there isn't. neither of my kids have their father's last name. what if your friend and this guy break up? then she would have to explain why they have different last names. ask your friend which name is more important to her to carry on...hers or his? surely she would say hers. i know people who have several kids with several men, and each child has a different last name. it gets very confusing. and why is she with this guy if there is no future with him?