22 and wanting things so abnormal to others my age?

Question

I am 22 and currently working in the disability field. Everyone considers me the quiet, mature and caring worker.
I was with a man for 3 years but we were too different and simply weren't meant to be. I was over it rather quickly. At the moment I wish to meet my Mr Right and seem to always have a guy interested but never feel for them back.
I feel different as i have basic wants in life like travel, creating a family and owning my own house. But the past few months I have also wanted more bizzaire things in my life. For example, right now I am considering foster care or even permanent care of a special child. Fellow work mates see me doing this but at 22 I am single, young, working, studying and should be out partying like the rest yet it doesnt interest me and I want to give an unwanted child love and a family. Agencies have sent me information but i'm scared they'll consider me young and vague yet i know close people to me consider me capable.should i pass mydream up or go for it?

Thanks everyone for your answers. It has helped alot but at the same time I am so undecided! I know I want to live my dreams one day but a part of me wants to now also and I'm trying to consider whether i should or not.

To the answer about me studying - I am studying part time and working part time and still seem to have plenty of time available. I seem to have to be on the go. Achieving things and if i were to start foster/respite care now i have the option of deferring until things settle.

I get cranky when work mates say I am young single and don't know what its like to have a family and home life. I keep busy myself but I also dream of doing so muhc more than working and dreaming.

Thanks again for your answers :-)

Answer 1

Not everybody is the same. Yes, there is a part of me that feels like you should go out there and explore your wild side, sew your oats so to speak. That's just because I know so many people that settled down early, had a family and made a really great life for themselves. But then once the entered their 30's, they started longing for the wild partying days that they could have had in their 20's but were too busy being nurturing and responsible.
With that said, I also know that not everybody is that way. There are some very mature 20 year olds out there that are just the way you described yourself. There is nothing abnormal about it. In fact, it's really sweet and refreshing.
Dr. Phil has had shows with poeple just like you who from a very early age, forgoed the partying and answered their calling of caring for others in need. I almost think there is something very angelic about that.
As far as being in a relationship with someone, don't sweat it. You have bigger things on your mind. You don't need a man to make you feel good about yourself because you find that from within. If only there were more people with that ability, there would be a lot more happy people in this world. When the time is right, the right person will come by and you will be ready for it. Until then, do your traveling, work hard, buy your own house, become a foster parent to those kids who really need you. Don't worry about the agencies considering you too young. I believe they make their decisions based on your ability to care for these kids. Thats why working hard, buying your house and being financially secure will show them that you are qualified and serious about this.
God Bless You!

Answer 2

Hi CharlaC, you are 22 and watching forward. That is excellent. It is usually just right that you just love being younger. Live it up. Sadly, that is fleeting. However you're younger now and must pursue the activities you adore. I believe you're going to see things differently as time goes through. So not rush it. It will happen in its possess time. For now, go to live shows, theatre, and fashion indicates. Do not flinch founded on what you see. Be trained from it. Look at your childhood and work out why matters had been the way they were. What was excellent about it? What would you might have transformed when you might go back? Recall about the lady on the beach. Consider the entire other young mother and father you've got acknowledged. Ask your self the how and why. Do not forget to search out the solutions to those questions. Have been you judging her or have been you analyzing the drawback and unhappy with the evaluation? You are not irregular. You're going to most likely alternate your mind as time goes via. There is nothing fallacious with ready to have a household. Take all of the problems you may have stated - price range, parenting, culture - and ensure that in case you end up a parent your kids will not be screaming and you've got the cash for the dentist. Then you're going to have a young person with whom which you could share all the unusual experiences you experience. Do not let worry suppose for you. Satisfactory wants.

Answer 3

Wow! Hell of a question. Ok well honestly, perhaps you really shouldn't care what other think of your choices. Personally, I think 22 is a bit young to consider that things on your mind, but I comend you for being more mature than I was at 22! LOL! Why dont you "borrow" a family members child for a week or two,....the younger the better and see if you are really ready for the undertaking your wanting so much. Even better would be to care for a child that you dont know for 2 or 3 weeks but they call that kiddnapping, and after your story would be heard you would be locked away and labeled insane ;) Everyone is different, and the things that make us tick are all different as well. I say go 4 it, but go into this with both eyes wide open. Children aren't boyfriends; meaning, you cant just break up with adopted kids,because of no love, its not working out or any other such reasons. Your working and in school though,...sheesh! I should give you my moms number, she would set you straight! Working studying and children!!!! WOW! I say wait!
Good luck in your choice

Answer 4

First of all, people mature at different rates. Not all 22 year olds are out partying--lots of them, and some people even younger, are raising children and supporting families. On the flip side, there are people who never really grow up enough to be able to raise a child, disabled or not. Your goal is an admirable one, and since you work with disabled people, you will have realistic expectations of what caring for such a child permanently will require. You say you are studying--my advice to you is to wait on the foster care or adoption until you have finished school so that you will be in a better position to support the child and you won't have to worry about the child distracting you from your studies. Also, since you are interested in finding a man, you should consider that it will be much harder for you to get out on dates and meet guys once you have a child to care for. If I were you, I would finish school and try to find a guy who shared my dream so we could care for the child together. Special needs children often require the attention and care of more than one or even more than two adults (I have a sister with special needs and between my parents, me, and my brother she is still almost too much).
I guess what I'm saying is you should definitely follow your dream, but you don't necessarily have to do it today. But if, after careful consideration, you feel like you are ready at this point, then get in touch with some agencies. And so they won't consider you "young and vague" get references or letters of recommendation from people you work with, and explain to them how you decided that you're ready for this now.

Answer 5

The agency may be concerned about your age but if you present yourself as a mature, caring individual you may get their approval. However, it just depends on what your willing to give up to go through this chosen life. You have realize finding Mr. Right is going to be far more difficult and the traveling is not an options unless your willing to bring them along. Your time to yourself will be small if not obliterated by the constant attention these children need and require.
To care for another soul is admirable but it is also a lot of work, be sure you know exactly what your getting yourself into. The vision you have will not play out like you've imagined and problems will arise, be sure your up for a battle. These foster kids or special needs are in there for a reason, they need love, attention and a lot of your time and patience. Don't bring hope to a child if your not up to seeing it through to the end.

Answer 6

Fostering a needs child is a huge commitment, that may be too difficult until you have more security in your life. Before taking on a child, you should be financially secure, own a house, and have a stable social life. If you do not have these basics cemented, you may be bringing the child into an unhappy environment. Imagine having difficulty paying the bills because your child needed to have emergency medical care that wasn't insurance covered. In 5 years that may not be a travesty, but now that would put you into a serious and possibly permanent financial, social, and spiritual bind.

Answer 7

Ask some people who have worked with foster and/or adopted kids, especially those with special needs. You sound like a fantastic person who found her purpose earlier than others.

But you definitely want the ugly truth behind taking care of kids. You might be doing what's best now and learning about how to do it. After you talk to those who have been through this, and decided for sure, then apply! There are a lot of matches made this way, and those who decide know well what they're doing.

Answer 8

hi CharlaC, you're 22 and looking out forward. this is solid. it is likewise solid which you adore being youthful. stay it up. regrettably, this is fleeting. yet you're youthful now and can pursue the events you like. i think of you will see issues in yet differently as time is going with the help of. So no longer rush it. it is going to ensue in its very own time. For now, bypass to stay shows, theatre, and vogue exhibits. do no longer recoil according to what you spot. learn from it. seem at your formative years and choose why issues have been the way they have been. What become solid approximately it? What might you have replaced in case you're able to bypass decrease back? evaluate on the subject of the lady on the sea coast. evaluate all the different youthful mothers and fathers you have stated. ask your self the how and why. do no longer forget approximately to come across the solutions to those questions. have been you judging her or have been you analyzing the situation and unhappy with the prognosis? you at the instant are not staggering. you will in all threat exchange your strategies as time is going with the help of. there's no longer something incorrect with waiting to have a family contributors. Take all the matters you have stated - funds, parenting, custom - and make certain that in case you become a make certain your babies at the instant are not screaming and you have the money for the dentist. then you are turning out to be an adolescent with whom you could share all the mind-blowing reviews you appreciate. do no longer enable concern think of for you. suited needs.

Answer 9

It's clear you love children. Only you know when your ready to have a family. Taking care of a special needs child can be a rough job to take on. I myself am in a wheelchair and growing up I remember my mom getting frustrated because of Dr.s appointments ect. Make sure you are ready. Taking on a child isnt going to be a part time thing nor will it be easy.

Answer 10

Just because it isn't the norm doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.
What you want to do is amazing, taking a child into your care. it's great, but it's your wish to take a child in do. No matter what another person says. Also about meeting that Mr.Right, don't just jump into relationships, it can lead to constant heartbreak. It takes time. But really taking a child in is a wonderful idea.