What do I do if I want to break up with a boyfriend but he says he’ll kill himself if I do?

Question

I dont want to be in a relationship with my boyfriend anymore, but he told me if i let him he would kill himself..what should I do?

it was suppose to say "left him" not "let him"

Answer 1

Well sit back and look at him and see if you really think he is serious.Lots of guys and girls use this as a ploy not to be dumped.So you can just be honest with him and break up with him because if you stay with him for that reason he is happy and you are not.Good Luck

Answer 2

In regards to your former boy-friend killing himself. That is an emotional tool to keep you trapped in a relationship you no longer want.

If he makes that threat again, tell his friends and
family. You may not get a great reaction from his
family, but they deserve to know your side of
the situation. Also, get advice from a member of
the clergy, a counselour, a suicide hot line.

Aside from the situation that is your relationship.
There may be other things effecting him right now.
However, if you feel this is the end of relationship
as boy-friend and girl-friend , you have to do what is right for you. Staying in this circumstance is going to make both of your lives miserable.

If you feel the need to see he is okay, go with two of your friends. Never see him alone. Suicuide is a permanent solution to so temporary a problem.
If he starts doing erratic and threatening actions.
Stay away from him and get out of there.

Life is full of hurt and angst. You can't help how you feel. He is responsible for his life, You are responsible for yours. If he cant love himself, he cant love anyone else. Suicuide is an act of self-hate.

Answer 3

Welcome to Manipulation 101. He's guilt-tripping you. He either is playing you or needs help. You are not qualified to help him other than recommending he seek it himself. If you are still in high school, you can talk with your school counselor. That will put a responsible adult who is trained to deal with this on alert.

If you stay with him, you will go down with him. He is responsible for his life, not you.

1. Here's a suggested response: "Look, I'm not out to do any more damage to you than I can, but anyone who tells me they want to kill themselves to keep me is someone I can't be around. Get some help, please."

2. Then back away, out of physical reach, quickly. You might even do this in public, like a Starbuck's or somewhere so you have help if you need it.

3. If you still live at home, tell your folks what has happened. They need to be on alert. If you're old enough to be on your own, tell a friend. You'll need the support and backup if your bf goes a little nuts on you after the breakup.

4. Tune in to your feelings (not the false guilt, your REAL feelings) and if you feel unsafe to be alone for awhile after the breakup, respect that and make sure someone you trust (not the bf) is with you as much as possible, at least until things settle down and you feel safe again.

5. Hang tough! This may be a rough ride, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES give in to his follow-up phone calls, e-mails, or whatever pleading with you to just give him one more chance. This is not a good relationship! Anyone who uses this kind of manipulation to get his or her way is creating a toxic relationship.

6. He may not go nuts on you, but with a suicide threat, it's better to be safe than sorry. And if he floods you with pleadings that start turning into threats beyond himself, call the authorities right away! Watch to see what he really does, not what "oh, he'd never do that."

7. If he follows through on his threat, just know that he had way more problems than your breakup, so no guilt-trip there, either.

8. Talk with someone to see what about your own personality attracted someone like this to you in the first place. Not saying anything is wrong with you, but it's always nice to know what led you into a toxic relationship so you don't have to go through that again.

You've got a bumpy ride ahead. Hang tough!

Answer 4

This is scary. He's probably a really good guy, which is why you dated him to begin with. A lot of times, guys say that they'll kill themselves in order to control you. Does that sound familiar? Did he try to be controlling while you were dating? Then you know it's his thing.

Otherwise, tell your friends, your parents, his parents (whichever you think) what he said. He needs real help, and you can't give it, but you can help him get it. That's the best you can do for someone you care about.

Answer 5

when someone says that he will kill himself if you leave, he is trying to CONTROL you. it's a form of abuse. you need to get out of this relationship now, because if you don't, you will not only be unhappy but you will also be allowing him to victimize you.

and if he really does kill himself, then there is much more going on with him emotionally than just his relationship with you...he has much deeper issues. you can't feel guilty or live your life in a trap...you deserve to be happy. and free

Answer 6

Tell his family about that, tell the police if you have to. But whatever you do, do not stay in a relationship just to keep him from killing himself.
If he is that unstable that he would do something like that he will only bring you down with him. Get out and do it now.
He obviously needs professional help, do your best to make sure he gets it.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

Break up with him anyway. There is no need for you to be miserable and if he is willing to take such a drastic step then he needs professional help so there is nothing that you can do for him. I had an ex tell me the same thing last year i still broke it off and he is alive and well with a new girlfriend.

Answer 8

Well the politically correct answer is to seek pychiatric help for this young man.

here is the reality answer. Tell him you don't give a sh*t its his life and his choice to do with what he wants. He is not going to kill himself. Give me a break. He doesn't want to break up and is playing any damn card he can think of.

Answer 9

they many times use that in a fashion so that you likely can be with him, no count what. he's now unlikely to kill himself. And if he's then that's his Emo situation. You deserve more desirable sensible, so do it. it isn't your duty to save him emotionally strong, he's grown, he will understand sometime.

Answer 10

Break up with him. He is using emotional black mail to keep you in a relationship that you don't want to be in. If he wants to play childish games with you, then he has some growing up to do, but don't let him force you to stay in a relationship that you don't want to be in. After you break up with him, tell someone who he would trust what he threatened to do if you did break up with him.