please help me!?

Question

i am 16 and i know that i am gay in fact i believe that i was born gay. i now realize that my sexuality is affecting my life and conflicting with my religion. I really really want to become straight and i have even tried to, but nothing has worked. please help me and give me advice on what to do and how to become straight. (btw i am closeted and please dont suggest talking with anyone about it because i really can't. i fear for my life where i live so please help)

Answer 1

All right...let me assume that you're stuck in the Bahamas. It's sort of sad - here in Toronto, Canada, we'd consider Bahamas to be paradise. But you, in the Bahamas, would probably have a nice time here, exploring all the friendly gay/queer hang-outs and meeting other gay people (including gay Christians!) in a positive, understanding environment.

I think a healthy experience would be for you to get in touch with other gay Christians, many of whom have also struggled with trying to become straight, or dealing with feelings of shame and guilt. I think it may help you overcome your feelings of desperation and confusion, and start to appreciate who you are - most likely a human being who wants and deserves to be loved and approved of, just like anyone else.

This site is the Gay Christian Network. http://www.gaychristian.net/ It has a message board and chatroom where you can connect with other gay Christians who can be your "crisis buddies" as you try to figure it all out. It also has a ton of great resources. Joining is totally free.

This site http://www.lgcm.org.uk/ has a great discussion of what the Bible says about homosexuality, and I think it makes an excellent and convincing argument that you can be gay and Christian and loved by God.

This site http://www.gcoministries.net/component/option,com_smf/Itemid,98/ has a lively message board for gay Christians, and it's an amazing organization - it creates shelters for gay Christian youth who need a place to stay, it has a prayer ministry online, and lots of resources too.

This site http://www.truthsetsfree.net/study.html has a free online bible study you can listen to and work through, dealing with Christianity and homosexuality.

This site http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rainbowalliancebahamas/ is the Rainbow Alliance in the Bahamas - the only gay rights organization you've got, to be honest. I'm linking you to the message board where hopefully you can make connections to people who you can hang out with and talk to about your thoughts.

Now, you asked how you could become straight - the truth is, some people can switch their sexualities (start straight, end up gay, or vice versa) and some people can't. Most of my gay friends would argue that it cannot be done except for a few unusual cases. But I think a bigger issue isn't that you're gay - it's that you're stuck in a place where everyone else makes an issue of it! If you had a whole network of people in the Bahamas who supported you, felt you could be an excellent Christian while gay, celebrated your relationships and mourned your heartbreaks...would you still care about becoming straight?

I think the easiest thing - and the one that's truest to who you are - isn't go through the pain and disappointment of trying to change. I think it's in figuring out that you deserve all the love that everyone else does, just as you are, and there are plenty of people out there who would agree with you.

Best of luck, and get the hell away from the Bahamas as soon as you can,

ghostorchid

ps> Keep us updated!

Answer 2

Hey sweetie, yes i too believe that gays are born this way. However hard you try to become straight it is never going to work. You have to accept who you are and you cannot live a lie all your life. Sooner or later you have to come out and tell your parents. If they do not accept it then you have to carry on with your life. Eventually they will get used to the idea.Why do you fear about you life? My 19 yr old son is gay and nothing has changed between us because this is my son and as long that he is happy that is what counts. I hope everything turns out well for you. God Bless you sweetie. If you ever need to talk do not hesitate to email me.

Answer 3

Honey no matter what anyone says in the media there is no 'fix' for gay - because there is nothing to fix. You are fine. Problems where you live are an issue & for your safety you should wait to explore a romantic life when you are out of school & can move to a city. As for religion - it's very hard when your God or the people who preach for your God say you're life is an abomination & wrong. I don't have an answer for that except to say that I beleive religion that is preached in church is mans interpretation of God's wishes. I like to think God is about love & acceptance rather than hate and disapproval. As long as you aren't hurting children or anyone else - I think God has more important things to worry about than who we bed down with.

Answer 4

Sounds silly, sounds impractical, but that's life.. My mother is gay and I love her and her girlfriend... My religion tells me it's not OK... So, here is what i heard.. If you are gay or feel like you might be.... the only way you can help yourself(cause I believe that it is your life and you can become what ever you want) is to pray to your God for guidance, for strength, for help, and most of all patience. I don't know if there is a "Cure" but if there was, this is all I could think of..Oh, and as for your safety, Carry mase! I wish you the best of luck in your journey and keep God by your side, even if you fail to change teams, God forgives....

Answer 5

I have several gay friends and relatives and none of them where able to "become" straight, some of them tried to force it by dating the opposite sex a couple even got married but all of them ultimately ended up finally accepting themselves for who they really are and then came out and although some still struggle from time to time they are much happier being true to themselves. If your religion is important (which your reference to it leads me to believe that it is) there are may gay friendly Church's out there. Here is a link that has a directory of some. If you would have to fear for your life because of this you really should consider moving away to a safer environment.
Good luck and don't beat yourself up for being who you really are.

http://www.gaychurch.org/Find_a_Church/find_a_church.htm

Answer 6

You can run but you can't hide....how can someone change their "orientation" if they were born with it? Becoming straight is something you have to feel inside yourself. You can try to mask the truth to yourself, but I doubt you will never truly be "straight". If you live in an area that is dangerous, then I agree with the guy that says to move.

Answer 7

this will not be a popular answer. God loves everyone he create and he loves you if you are gay. Do not let people tell you, you cannot go to church and believe b/c you are gay. Everyone deserves to go to church if church was built for perfect people then they would all be empty. I don't think there is a "fix". People don't like what they don't understand and they like to judge someone for something they think is wrong if they aren't doing it themselves. Quit beating yourself up and accept that you are worthy as anyone of God's love.

Answer 8

you need to hook up with someone who can provide you with a listening ear and guidance. it's 2007 and it's ok to be gay.
it's difficult enough to be 16, but your age is compounded by an urge to engage in homosexual behavior. appartently, you've been indoctrinated to think that bing gay is wrong. you didn't choose this preference. it was just given to you.
i truly believe that God created us just the way we are. he created both gay and straight. Jesus taught us to love one another. isn't physical love a vital part of the equation? we were given sex organs to experience pleasure at its best. that means that society postulates that gay men and women have to remain celebate and deny their sexual urges.
bottom line----talk with your guidance counselor (if you trust him/her). he/she can directed you to the right channels to bring closure to this excruciatingly painful struggle. YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE.
best of luck. you are worthy of unconditional love and acceptance.

Answer 9

learn how to be honest with God first and with you second.You decide, your destiny in your mind, think about to be clean,elevated,respected,wise,these things are more important than a ten minutes of up and down.You are still pure ,small ,handsome,and you want to run fast in the dark place to catch the sorry end.Remember that ,if you think about God ,....god ask you to stop...for his sake you can do..because he has the medicine for you.
regards

Answer 10

how about instead of trying to change what you are accept what and who you are