Why Do People Judge a Nice Girl?

Question

Long story short. I am a nice, decent semi-attractive girl. I respect everyone and do my best. However, I don't date at all or really talk to guys. People have called me a lesbian and I hardly know them.
This really hurts, and this was at church when they said this. I do forgive them.

My reason is my dad was very abusive verbally, mentally, and emotionally, and if he communicated it was always negative, and mean. As a result I don't date as I fear men will hurt me, or worse.

So, why do people say mean things?

You are all so beautiful here. Every answer is so beautiful. Smiles. Smiles.

Answer 1

Because they are idiots.

I'm sorry they say that, I'm sorry you're judged, especially from within the church (where of all places people should be more understanding). Ignore them (as hard as this may sound). Find someone in the church you know and trust (for example a youth leader) and tell her how you feel. Chances are she'll help stop the gossip.

Apart from that, don't date to please others, do it when you're ready.

Start small. Go out with a group of girls and guys, try to talk to them as friends. Don't do this for others- do this for yourself. You need to have more confidence. You need to realize that people can love you as you are and that men aren't all abusive.
Talk to guys as friends, and when you feel comfortable, try a casual date.

All the best,

Answer 2

Hi I think that is the age old question. they have a problem not you. Think of it this way you have the upper hand in knowing who you are and you are the stronger to forgive as well. What would God Do is the main thing you are acting as God would
Turn and say nothing they don't need the answers from you and you don't have to bow down to them either.

You are strong in who you are and that's all that matters
There are way to many people that like to play superior to others when they are little and low themselves ... Maybe they wish to appear bigger in others eyes
YOU are the only one that needs to please you and let them wonder. You know that they don't' have all the answers.
God Bless and I hope that they can lay off soon.
Too many mean people in the world, and I feel much of its people are upside down.
Don't you allow them to take you down.
what do they know they have never lived your life.

Be happy Smile and know that you always have the answers that they don't.

Answer 3

Sometimes so-called "christians" can be the meanest people you meet.

Be yourself. Stay true to your faith. And maybe seek out some help from your pastor or counselor outside of the church to work out your father issues.

Understand that the small minded people who like to throw labels about, are usually the one's who need God the most, but don't see anything wrong with what they're doing!

Be strong in faith.

Psalms 56:11- "In God have I put my trust:
I will not be afraid of what man can do unto me."

Answer 4

People are just stupid and don't seem to be able to deal very well with things they don't get. I do think people should try to fit in with others but sometimes it's just better not to get noticed, so they'll leave you alone. Plenty of people in the world and lots of time to meet the right one. But just be sure that not all guys are like your dad.

Answer 5

They say things because normally people concentrate on the outside. These days people only see the things from the outside, like Guys would see How attractive girls look and if they are not pretty, they thing they are ugly and all. But in reality,Some ugly people are the most sensitive and sweetest people ever.......People like to judge.....Everyday......They always think this and that and well noone is perfect........Just let them think what they want to think.....Dont care what they think about you,Care about what God thinks about you......

Answer 6

Because they have nothing better to do but pick on other people. We all have done it, either cause we are jelouse or spiteful. You have your reasons and they are your reasons. Don't let what other people say get you down, for most of the time they are not happy when they do that.

Answer 7

well first thing sweeted ,i do under stand you problem,an some will judge you no matture what you do,honest it thing by them judgeing you it help them for get their wrongs,an you have a right to talk to whom you wish, now by them saying thing like you a lesbian, does it make it so, No it dont,an dont let them get to you, i seen a lot of yound lady come on the web,an in real life, with your problems,an yes it hurt, but we cant not stop them from talking,,, rember, you got nothing to prove to, any one but only to your self,,, god bless you, an may the angels be with you

Answer 8

because people can be mean, ignorant jerks. i used to be the same way for kinda the same reason but then a guy came along and really cared about me and it broke me out of that shell. there ARE truly good guys out there... you'll just have to look hard to find them... but dont give up on men because of your father... dont let him ruin your love life.

best of luck.

Answer 9

people has no right to judge you for anything,some people say things like that because they are jealous of the fact that you are a nice girl,sometimes if they feel they can bring you down to their level it will make them bigger //never allow these people to hurt you they must feel insecure themselves or why would they feel it necessary to try to lable you be proud of yourself im sorry about your dad but i had a tough home life too you will overcome this and remember what it says in the bible He who is in you is stronger than he that is in the world,be proud of yourself I AM PROUD OF YOU.........good luck and God Bless

Answer 10

people are thoughtless. Just remember that YOU know how Great a Person you are and somewhere out there is a great guy waiting just for you. Don't succumb to pressure Good Luck