I have a friend that I've known all my life..we are both in our 50's and widowed. We've been good friends since her husband died 8 yrs ago. I can never get her to come out and commit to me. For instance..I'll call her early in the week and ask her if she'd like to do dinner on Sat and she'll always say..I'll keep it in mind or She'll say its too far off to plan anything..its driving me nuts and it makes me mad and it's hurtful..whats your take on this? we're both female
2007-02-16 05:39:36 · 6 answers · asked by brennastarr24 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I had a similar situation and what I did was call and ask
my friend to lunch and when she had the reply that it was
too far off I said.........."You know I really enjoy spending time
with you, but it seems that you never really have time for me
so when you are free and want to go to lunch why don't you call me?" Then I stopped calling her. I call on occasion just to make
sure she is okay and to catch up. I get to tell her about how much fun I am having doing this and that, but I stopped asking her to hang out. Unfortunately, we have not had lunch since then, but I dont feel rejected anymore. I have plenty of time for my other friends who want to have lunch and hang out.
Then again, you could call and say that she never seems to want to do what you suggest and ask her if she has any fun suggestions.
It is kind of tough love. Hopefully, you will have a different
outcome than I did, but I suggest you do the same thing.
Her husband passed 8 years ago.....its time for her to move on.
Good luck.
2007-02-16 06:00:58 · answer #1 · answered by Trish 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has created her own prison. She's treading water and not really living. I, too, am a widow. The best thing you can do is to find other friends to go out with while telling her that you'd love to see her and to call you when she'd like to get together. Past that, she needs to be the one that initiates things. If she doesn't, you've done all that you can, and you can know that! Don't let her drag you back with her. You sound healthy and know that there's still life ahead. She doesn't seem to think so.
2007-02-16 14:07:40 · answer #2 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly how you feel. Find out if there is a reason she isn't going out. Is she doing things with others and just not you? If not, she might need some counseling. She may be depressed and having a rough time.
It may be that somehow she is upset with you and you need to clear the air. I find it is always best to just come out and say what is on your mind. Good Luck
2007-02-16 13:44:07 · answer #3 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are good friends with this person than you have two courses of action. Ask her if she would like for you to come to her house and you all can cook together or you could put her on the spot and tell her. Say hey you know i always ask you out and you blow me off whats up with that?
2007-02-16 13:45:35 · answer #4 · answered by deeshamon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to go out and have dinner with you, let her call and ask you. If she doesn't, find someone else to go out to eat with.
2007-02-16 13:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her when the date is closer
2007-02-16 13:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋