I have a friend who's very intelligent but she also can be very arrogant, looking down on people who aren't on her level. How can I tell her this without offending her? She has so much to offer other people, but often they don't want anything to do with her because of her attitude.
2007-02-16 05:10:42 · 10 answers · asked by ♥Granny♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I am a Christian woman and my friend is a Christian woman also, if that helps.
She is also very pretty but she brags upon herself so much that it puts people off.
For example, she will say, how do you like my new outfit, and then before someone can reply, she'll say "Oh I know it looks good I'm beautiful!" or if they say it looks nice, she'll say "Of course it does on me, everything does!"
If only she realized that people just find that a little conceited.
2007-02-16 05:15:30 · update #1
Chris, no need to be rude to other users. I added details after the first reply, so she didn't know.
Be polite.
2007-02-16 09:46:26 · update #2
There really isn't much you can do to change someone elses personality.
She sounds very narcissistic
1. having an inflated idea of one's own importance
2. obsessed with ones own self image and ego.
She may have other qualities that you value as a friend, but it appears that this arrogance of hers is ruining your friendship.
Her behaviour probably comes from a need to be the center of attention. Maybe she doesn't receive a lot of compliments or has low self esteem or insecurities, so she says these things to gain praise from people.
In any case, I don't think there is a way to tell a woman that and not hurt the relationship. It's up to you if you want to risk that.
If you say anything at all, try saying it in a lighthearted way and see how she reacts.
2007-02-16 09:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say if your friend is a Christian—but if so, she needs to realize that her pride displeases God, and is a sin. The Bible says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" (1 Peter 5:5). Arrogance and love are opposites.
First of all, pray for your friend before you speak to her about this. Remember: God can do what we can't do, and He can soften her heart and make her more open to your words. Before Nehemiah asked the Persian king for permission to help his fellow Jews—something the king would normally refuse—he first prayed for days. Later the king granted his request (see Nehemiah 1-2).
Then approach your friend gently, letting her know you value her friendship, and you wish others could come to know her as you have. Sometimes people who appear aloof or arrogant are actually quite shy. Don't rebuke her, but let her know you care. The Bible says, "As God's chosen people ... clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" (Colossians 3:12).
Most of all, point her to Christ. God gave her mind to her, and God loves her and wants her to yield herself—including her mind—to Him. When she does, she will discover the joy and peace He alone can give.
2007-02-16 05:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Enya♥ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me, Lady Enya. Lady Loretta does say - her friend IS a Christian.
Perhaps, despite her Faith she is lacking in self-confidence. Any approach should be taken with this in mind. Criticism will sap her self-esteem even further resulting in the need for more boasting/arrogance. A vicious circle will result.
She needs to be told how much she is valued before she has the chance to seek approval through her arrogant manner.
2007-02-16 05:40:30 · answer #3 · answered by Who Yah 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Do it the northern way. Think up some suitable nickname and use it as a pet name for her. How's about Little Miss Perfect?
2007-02-16 08:09:41 · answer #4 · answered by DIANNE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit Her down and in a serios voice talk to her and tell her what she is doing wrong and your reasons why you dont like her arrogance towards you and others.
2007-02-16 08:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by Jord r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change your friend's personality, no more than you can change your own. If you tell her about her arrogance she may not appreciate it, and it may cause bad feelings between you. We all have our faults. Best to keep quiet.
2007-02-16 05:23:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sandee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest with her, she will realise what she is doing is wrong, but it may cause a bit of uproar between for a while but she will have time to reflect on her behaviour in the meantime
2007-02-16 07:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by tracy b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is that arrogant she wont believe you anyway!!! waist of time mate. She will realise sooner or later when you give up on her or loose ya temper and tell her!!!
2007-02-16 05:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by clare 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make a joke out of it say oh you don't love yourself MUCH
keep giving her little digs
if it don't help its gonna make you feel better x
2007-02-16 07:32:25 · answer #9 · answered by nickiesx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds a bit insecure to me, she won't like this but film her on your mobile when shes at her worse, then play it back to her, she won't thank you much but she will see herself as others do.
2007-02-16 06:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by Chunky 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋