Serious Question!?

Question

The other day i got into a fight with some dude over money they apparently owe my dad. He swung first and we both started brawling. I'm sixteen he's 43, but he still hit me first. I gave him a beat down, and sent him to the hospital. In doing this, i found out i fractured his spine and there is a small chance he might not be able to walk again. His family insists he started the fight and i shouldn't feel responsible, but there's that feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach and i don't know what to do about it. Do you?

Answer 1

Good job, that'll teach him never to fight again!

Answer 2

To be honest, it's his own fault. He shouldn't have hit you, especially as he's 43 and you're only 16 - although you may have gone a bit too far by sending him to hospital. However, if you truely felt threatened, and it was clear you'd be the one in hospital if you hadn't fought back, then there is nothing else you could have done.

Obviously you feel guilty as he may suffer permanent damage, but that could have been you in hospital. This man sounds as though he has serious anger problems. Hopefully now he can get some councilling and learn to control himself. It may benefit you to try some anger management courses too, just to be sure you don't turn out like the man who hit you. It will also help you to deal with situations like the one you've just described more reasonably, and with less dramatic outcomes.

Answer 3

Ryan, you need both a lawyer and a counselor.
I am so sorry this happened... in one way, both are responsible, since NO fights like this should ever happen. What his family says is important, but you need to realize that the insurance company is going to get their paws into it, also. That's the legal part.
The counselor is for you. I hear where you are coming from, and it is right that you feel badly that it happened in the first place. Trying to put this in the right words... you would be even more of an *** if you didn't have regrets. Regret means you have a conscience.
Prayers from me for both of you.

Answer 4

Legally the question becomes if you were excessive in your response. That is to say, did you do more than you had to in order to defend yourself.

Ethically it is similar, The result is not so important as your actions. who escalated the conflict (not just the first punch but di you go to see him? who started yelling getting into each others face etc.) and did you not look for a way to get out with the lowest cost to both of you. You do not have to back down but if you have already won the fight you don't have to continue to make your point. It comes down to what you believe was necessary.

Oh I would get a lawyer as well

Answer 5

You should have called the police and had the guy arrested for hitting you. Then you could have told the police what happened. I hope you had a witness. You caused injury of a serious nature by retaliating. You opted to fight him and could have walked away. I think you know what the outcome might be. Get an attorney.

Answer 6

I appreciate the fact that you feel guilty; it shows that you have a conscience. What I do when I feel guilty is resolve within myself to be a better person.

For example, you could resolve to never hurt another person more than you need to. You could learn to fight in more disciplined ways, such as through Aikido. You would have more control of yourself.

Ryan, this is a great opportunity for you to grow as a person. If you can make decisions now that lead to you being a better person, you will feel MUCH better about yourself.

In today's world, a man of peace is a hero. And trust me, the world rewards its heroes.

Answer 7

He started the fight, dont feel sorry for the outcome, you didnt know this would happen to him, and he shouldnt be fighting anyway, hes old enough to know better. Dont forget there is always physical therapy, think to the positive side of it, he will walk again, you wont feel bad, and its not your fault. Just in case, contact a attorney, he may want to sue you.

Answer 8

Are there any witnesses?
If so you need to contact them immediately and make sure that they know that he did swing first...
In this age of no Tort reform and crazy lawsuits (oh **** I am a dumb**** I spilled hot coffee in my lap... LETS SUE McDonalds!!!!)

You should DEFINITELY prepare for a lawsuit
However if what you have said was right... you are perfectly innocent because you were fighting back after he hit you first in self-defense which makes you innocent

In Short:
--Prepare for a lawsuit!
--Get witnesses!
--Remeber... you fought in self-defense since he threw the first punch
--DO NOT apolagize to him!! this could be perceived as admission of guilt... and you are NOT guilty

ATTENTION: I cannot be held responsible for ANY of my advice and/or any implementation of my advice. You are solely responsible for any consequences of my adivce if you choose to take it

(Sorry I have to write that... tort reform ftw!)

I hope this helps,
-TBird

Answer 9

if his family says your not responsible (and you find out if they try to sue your parents) then it sux but, some live and die by the sword right? Doubtful at that point what aplogizing does. But the dude above right get a lawyer just in case.

Answer 10

Well, aren't you just the shining example of how to handle your problems.

I hope he sues the heck out of you. At 16, surely you know a better way to behave.

If this man owed your father money, it only costs $10.00 in most state to file in small claims court.

You were wrong, wrong, wrong.

Answer 11

Your family might have more problems than you feeling bad. Might want to start asking a lawyer instead of people on Y!A.