he's thrown keys at her that left a horrible mark, pulls her hair, actually, I won't let her tell me the things he's done. I feel it will not get better but worse with time. He doesn't want her to have friends and her mom lets him back in, she says her daughter loves him and must like it like that. I care for her, although I am upset with her choice and seeminly bad taste, cause she's beautiful and he is a gangster want to be. What an aspiration. I think one of you can say something to me that will save her life, from your own experiences?
2007-02-16 04:46:43 · 8 answers · asked by lee f 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you need to get her away from him somehow if theres anyway you need to find it have her talk to someone or something tell her that you care about her and your afraid shes going to end up dead and that you think she deserves so much better than him tell her that theres a guy out there that will treat her with respect and love her and that she needs to get rid of this guy i hope that upi find a way and that your friend will listen because a situation like this will end bad if something doesnt change good luck and god bless both of you
2007-02-16 05:14:40 · answer #1 · answered by advise_gal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The rule is very simple: if a man strikes a woman FOR ANY REASON, then it's time for the woman to leave. No such thing as "three strikes and you're out" -- the VERY FIRST TIME he lays a hand on her for ANY REASON, she should be OUTTA THERE. Period. No compromise. It will get worse before it gets better. That's a known fact.
Your friend's mom is not helping any either. She should not be hiding behind the lame "but he loves her" excuse. Yeah, right, he loves her so much that he's throwing keys at her, tugging her hair, and God knows what else. Some love that turned out to be. If your friend's mom is not careful, she will be burying her daughter -- just ask Lacey Peterson's family.
It will be hard to get your friend out of this relationship until she actually wants to get out of it. The best you can do is, go to the police and have it on record that you fear for your friend's safety. They may be able to keep an eye on him -- and at worst if anything happens to her, they will know who the first suspect should be. You also have to try your best to keep in touch with her, and make it clear to her that if she ever wants to escape from him, she has you in her corner.
I really really really hope you can get her out of that relationship alive and soon. She deserves better.
Good luck to you and your friend.
2007-02-16 13:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by jalabi99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell her she needs to leave ASAP. Her Mom is a fool for allowing this!!!!!!!!!! I work with battered children on a daily basis and trust me it only gets worse! Most of these children come from battered homes ie) spousal abuse. One day she may end up with a broken arm, leg etc. Usually abusers hit in places that aren't vi sable ie)stomach, legs, arms, back,and Kidneys. Also they tend to bite!!!! Once they see the negative attention around the vi sable bruises they usually head straight towards the spots that can be hidden. There is a cycle for battered women, first a beating, then the "I'm SORRY", then the make up (can last for weeks), then all it takes is one little remark, accident and he erupts. This guy is extremely insecure about himself believe it or not! He pro bally lives with abuse in the home. He needs to seek counselling immediately and she needs to leave this toxic relationship. People who remain in these relationships tend to think that they can help the abuser, but the long and short of it is, that THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN HELP THEM SELF. At this point he doesn't sound as if he wants any help.
KEEP SAFE
2007-02-16 13:04:45 · answer #3 · answered by momma 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it not that she like that.... she have low self esteem... and remember don't tell her that he no good and he is stupid and all that... she will think huh??? try postive like you are smart, and outgoing person and if you need help let me know i will be gald to help you but it up to you what you want to do... I know it scary... If he threat you to kill you or someone... remember you have me and let me know I can come get you not from the house but from somewhere.
There is a hot line you can find out what you can do... and they will give you advice what best. but it only her she need to make. Support her and tell her you are smart and you funny and things like that.. Notice you have change and not you anymore. I do missed my friend who I know before. so Hopefully let you know that I am here...
I can't believe that her mother would say this "she loves him and must lke it like that!" what the heck of course that why her daughter have no place to go... If that was my daughter I will go and Save her and Kick that guy who want to be gangster.... I don't care... she is my daughter and I want her to know I am there and I will alwasy be there for her but she will need to make that choice. but if she keep on going back and will keep my door open for her... I will alwasy give her positve about her not neg.
2007-02-16 13:05:38 · answer #4 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't say from own experience, but you friend could suffer even more severe than just keys and buises. Over time he may get to the point where he will stab her or shoot her. This man will eventually get to where in his mind she is invincible and will be able to withstand a knive or gun blow. I suggest calling the police for domestic violence or simply talking with her on this situation.
2007-02-16 12:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by nshappe 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to burst your bubble, but she is not going to leave him until she is ready to go. I hate to just say it flat out like that. But for some reason, he thinks it's okay that he keeps coming back, and she lets him know that it's okay , so there is really nothing you can do until she's ready. You can just be there for her. Never turn your back on her, even though you're mad at her for staying with this guy, never leave her side. Sorry!
2007-02-16 12:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately nothing you say to her will probably help, just let her know when she reaches rock bottom and is fed up, you will be there for her. hopefully that will be before he does any permanent damage. i was in your friends shoes long ago when i was young. it did help to hear from friends that i could do better. i needed that confidence boost. he had made me feel like i wasn't worth anything. good luck.
2007-02-16 12:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by bulloch2004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the department of social services and get that guy removed and put in jail.
2007-02-16 12:51:17 · answer #8 · answered by Phillip 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋