that he smells bad? A really old friend of mine is divorced and is desperate to make a new relationship. He is a very friendly, kind person but he smells absolutely awful. When he has been in our house we have to open the door after he's gone to let the smell out. The chair he has been sitting on smells for days and if we put anything on that chair, that thing smells too, that's how bad he smells. I've tried a few times by saying things like "you could meet a new woman any time at all so make sure that every day you shower, put on clean clothes and look well groomed" but he still smells just as bad. It's a huge shame because he's such a nice guy but is depressed as he is so lonely. If he didn't have this problem things could be so much better for him!
2007-02-16 04:29:50 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It would be kinder to tell him.
Perhaps you could buy him a little present of washing gear & when you give it to him tell him that he has been smelling so bad & he must wash his clothes & keep himself clean.
Tell him you don't want to fall out with him & that you want him to be presentable so it helps him meet someone.
He shouldn't take offence he should be grateful..
2007-02-16 04:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by ANDREW H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh this is a difficult one. Does he smell of stale clothes, stale food or cigarettes? Or is it worse than that?
I think the approaches you have tried are very tactful but they're clearly falling on deaf ears. You could be a little less subtle - when he comes in, sniff and say "have you been down the pub, I think I can smell stale smoke on you" in a lighthearted kind of way. If he doesn't take the hint, then you either have to take the bull by the horns and sit him down and give him some good grooming tips or get a (male) friend to speak to him. This kind of stuff doesn't come well from women.
I admire the fact that you're seeking advice on how to deal with this. This is SUCH a difficult thing to do. Being honest with him may hurt but may be kinder in the end, as he will never find a girlfriend all the time that he has a personal hygiene issue.
Good luck - you're obviously a good friend to him.
2007-02-16 04:36:50 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as a friend u need 2 be honest with him even though it might hurt his feelings but it's not right 4 u 2 know how he smells and let him continue living life that way. Just sit down with him and tell him exactly what is going on. If u don't want 2 do that then send him a letter signed anonymous telling him that he smells and he should shower and buy new clothes and put on some Cologne. Hey as a friend u have 2 find a way 2 tell him.
2007-02-16 04:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by Baby Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and maybe offer to help with his washing as he seems to be getting behind. It will open the conversation about his hygiene routine, it maybe that he has a personal problem that needs a visit to a doctor. An old boss of mine always showered in the morning but but 10 in the morning smelled like he hadnt for 3 days and it got progressively worse as the day wore on not even his wife could get him to go to the doctor. Good luck
2007-02-16 04:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my..this is tough. Ok you do not want to destroy his self-esteem but yea, you have to help him. Ok. Send him an anonymous letter. Give details about his stinkiness...but make sure you tell him that things would go better for him if he will deal with this.
Often these types of smells exist for a few reasons:
1) Possible hygiene, but it seems like it is literally coming from his pores, so I believe it is dietary and he has a build up of negative bacteria. Recommend that he get a probiotic at a health food store.
2) He may not wash his clothing regularly even if they look clean so definitely bring that up.
That is the best way to handle this. I sure could not tell a friend that their breath stank or they smelled...I would have to send an anonymous letter...
2007-02-16 05:18:42 · answer #5 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buy a plastic chair so you can disinfect it when he leaves.
Sit him on it and have the following conversation...
You: I am sorry but did you know that you are a very smelly person
Him: eh? y'what ? no...not me!
You: Sorry mate - yeah you
Him: But I have been bathing in cow crap - how can that smell
You: Are you deranged ?
Him: What does that mean?
You: Well surely you are joking about bathing in cow pooh?
Him: Laugh! Yeah! Its actually sewage from the toilet !
You: Laugh! its not funny! - you have ruined my sofa - you owe me £600
Him: You're joking - my wife has screwed me for every penny I've got - I can't even afford soap for me or my clothes!
You: oh! - I feel so embarassed
Him: Oh don't be! I'm fine - I have grown to love the smell
You: Actually - its growing on me aswell
Him: Really?
You: Yes!!! Really!! Your fungus is growing up my leg! (Horror!)
Him: Eeeek - I had no idea
You: Yes !! Get it off me!!
Him: Let's both have a shower!
You: Hooray!!!!
Him: Hurrah!!!
Afterwards....
You: You still smell!
Him: Oh sorry - I thought that effluent would have fixed the problem....
You: sigh!
From this discussion you can see that telling him is useless !
Good Luck
2007-02-16 04:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lord Onion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you ready to tell friends? I think talking to your best friend about it can be important and beneficial. It can help strengthen your relationship. However, I would say let things simmer. They will find out if they need to... otherwise the outcome is just a sick pitty party because they dont know how else to respond. Been there done that when I was younger. Tell those you think need to know. Bring it up casually. '...hey guys. I really need to talk to you about something. It's going to change my life in a big way, and you will need to know at some point. my parents have been having some issues lately...and they have discussed taking a break. they have decided that it's best to divorce... but i will be okay after some bumps. thats what you guys are here for though and i know that. i will be living with (blank) most of the time and i will/will not be attending the same school (due to us having to find separate housing. if you are switching schools.) etc etc etc.' Id advise you or your parents to quietly tell your teachers, they will be a great help when it comes to school. its a huge change and can mess with your ability to perform well in school. they will offer extensions and extra help. they will make sure you dont drown like me. word wont get around to everybody by doing this, it will just let them know to lighten up on ya while you work things through. after telling your friends go about your daily life and only bring it up if something is really bothering you. bring it up over coffee or a lunch. even at school, just eat somewhere isolated. you dont need to explain the whole situation. like what i said earlier, just explain there will be some big changes...that they need time apart and that it may be permanent (unless youre sure it will be) and explain that you only wanted to share because 1.) it is very important in YOUR life and 2.) things wont be exactly the same next time they come over to hang out or spend the night. only tell people who REALLY need to know. keep it on a need to know basis. your parents will appreciate that and think of you as a more mature kid.
2016-05-24 07:02:29 · answer #7 · answered by Kathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest,let him know that you are not trying to hurt his feelings,and that this is hard to say,but _______ you are carrying around a very unpleasant odor.Is there something you are using or not.Remember,if you can smell him,than he can smell hisself.He might be waiting on you to tell him,or to see how long it is going to take for his friend to let him continue to walk around smalling so bad.Real friends tell you the truth,fake friends tell you what you want to hear,real friends understand,fake friends don't.Good luck.
2007-02-16 04:52:08 · answer #8 · answered by fnocentelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should tell him straight ! if he is a good friend he will understand and appreciate it . this smell thing must be something he has since ever and its only fair if people calling him "friend" tell him that its really bad and no one will ever come close to him !
i know that telling the truth is sometimes more harder as hear it but i am sure that its the only solution
good luck !!!
2007-02-16 04:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him if he wants to get with somebody he needs some Axe body gel in a funny commercial voice, that'll break the ice and then you can tell him straight up "Dude you smell like ****!"
2007-02-16 04:34:31 · answer #10 · answered by Phillip P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋