I'm terrified!!!!?

Question

Okay this is my first baby I am due on Tuesday. They said if I had progressed they would do something on Tuesday most likely induce to get this baby out. Up until lastnight I was fine I was ready for it to just get outta me. But now I am completely terrified and I don't know if I will be a good mom. I know its gonna hurt and it scares me. Mostly I am afraid of being a mom. This is FOREVER! Everything I do will effect this child. This is alot! I thought about all this before but it was never this intense. I'm only 22. Has anyone else felt this way and been a good mom?

Answer 1

wow! i DEFINITLY know where you are coming from! i TOTALLY felt the same way before i had my oldest daughter. i lost my first pregnancy at 21 weeks but i got pregnant again 3 months later. well at 26 week i found myself in the hospital at 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced! it seemed to me that pregnancy was a normal part of life...i'd been pregnant for sOOOOoo long. the thought that by the time i left the hospital i was going to actually be a mommy. i FREAKED out when i made that realization. i was 23 at the time and had ALWAYS wanted to be a mom...but suddenly i wasn't ready! ack!! but you know what?? i do alright! i do make mistakes at time, as will you and EVERY mom for that matter. but you know what? babies are very forgiving and resiliant...and you know what?? most of the time they have NO idea you didn't do something the best! you get the chance to grow as a parent as they grow. it's a wonderful thing! good luck to you! you'll be a fabulous mom, don;t worry!

Answer 2

I think I am a good mom and I definitely had those feelings. Before I had my son(now 2.5) I couldn't even remember changing a baby's diaper. I was terrified too, but once you have that sweet child in your arms, you just do what you have to do.
You will be amazed at how much you will love this child and feel for it. You will do everything you can now to help it grow and thrive.
I'm sure you will do just fine. I was 22 when I had my first child. Currently 16 weeks along with number two.

Parenthood is definitely a HUGE adjustment. You feel your life is no longer your own at first, but it is not so. Your life will feel more enriched as each week goes by.

And you'll hear some women say, "oh you can't do anything now, your life is over"
That's soooo not true. Life is what you make of it. you can still get out, go for walks, join a parent-baby group in your neighborhood, find new friends who have kids too. Your current friends will most likely continue with their lifestyle and you will see less of them. And there's no reason for you not to take a girls night once in a while, leave baby home with daddy for a few hours out of the house just to meet with friends and other adults for a while.
This will seem like a difficult time, but once you get into the swing of things and start getting more sleep in another month or so, you'll feel just fine.
Just try not to keep yourself in the house. I found with my first I was afraid to take the baby to the grocery store even, always thinking, what if he wakes up and cries? LOL
So silly, but that's what you think about. Everybody has babies and all babies cry and all that fun stuff. Don't be afraid to take your child to restaurants and to the mall and out shopping, it's good for you and you'll love the attention your baby will get from everybody :)
Congrats on the baby and good luck. Childbirth is not a fun experience, but remember EVERYBODY else does it and makes it through ok, you will too. Just try and remain calm and try to breathe through the process.
Remember you are no longer number one, baby comes first, but you still come a close second :)
If you need help with the baby, call your mom, or tell your bf or husband you need a break, have a bath or a nap. you will be tired, but remember that the first couple weeks are the worst. once you get everything down, things get so much easier.
You'll do just fine.
:)

Answer 3

Yes, it's okay to feel this way. I've been a mom for 12 years and sometimes still feel like a failure. If we didn't doubt ourselves we couldn't strive to do better. I became a mom at 19. I went through labor without any drugs, I was terrified of the epidural more than the contractions. Of course labor hurts, but when its over its over and yo have this new angel in your arms, you only feel happiness. You will be a good mom, make smart decisions. I hope you have a good support system, other moms and your own mom would be the ideal help. You'll be fine. After 12 years being a mom is still the hardest thing I've ever done, but the most rewarding. Best of luck to you!!!!

Answer 4

It is normal. I felt that way before my baby was born in 2004 and I actually still wonder to this day if I'm a good mom. Truth is, it comes natural and you will do just fine. Also, I have noticed that not everything I do effects my son. He's 2 1/2 and has a mind of his own, but he does need me there to tell him right from wrong. You worrying is good. You will make a great mother. Stop worrying and enjoy this time. You will never love anything as much as you do this child. Except maybe your next child. Good luck and have a great life.

Answer 5

Probably every single woman that has been pregnant feels this way. Especially with the first one, and especially at the end of the pregnancy. Relax. You will be fine. It's good you're concerned because it means you are already being a good mom because you are concerned for your child's well being. Not everything comes from instinct, but if you have a lot of patience and love, you will find your way. It will be fine. I have 2 kids, 7yrs and 5 yrs, and I was so terrified with my first one that I would be a horrible mom, but so far it's been OK. Obviously motherhood isn't the easiest job in the world, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Just relax and enjoy being a mom.
And don't feel badly if you don't bond with the baby immediately. Give yourself time to adjust and I promise you, you will love your child more than you can even imagine.
When my daughter was born I was kind of in shock. I knew she was mine and I loved her, but it was just a strange feeling to be a mom. It wasn't until I was all alone with nobody fretting over us and I was just sitting at home looking at her that it really hit me. I love her more everyday as I watch her grow up. (My son too). It's just amazing to sit back and watch them learn and see how they develop.
Yes, there is some pain involved, but you will do fine. I got an epidural with my first one and they work very well. I even took a nap while in labor because I felt no discomfort. You'll do great!
Congratulations!!!!

Answer 6

You're experiencing normal fears, so don't worry.

I was had been 23 for two months when I gave birth, and was nervous, but my advice to you is just take one day at a time.
Your fears will become less intense, you are always going to be worried about your daughter/son, but that shows that you are a great mom.
You will have to just blunder along, like all of us in the first months, until you really know what all your child's cries mean, but you will get through all of this. I know that you are now going to be a mom forever, and that is a long time, but if you take each day/week/month as it comes, you will move through time without the fear of it being forever. If it helps, time moves so quickly- I feel I only just had my daughter five minutes ago, but she will be two in April.

You are going to be okay!
I have always worried about everything concerning my daughter, but by taking each day and challenge as it comes, I think I am doing a great job, and so does my mom, who has freely admitted that she didn't think I'd be a good mother...hee hee...I'm better than she thought I was!

Feel free to contact me if you just want someone to listen to your fears and concerns...chances are I have had the same feelings and thoughts...it can help so much to know that someone else has gone through it before!

Good luck!

Answer 7

Are you kidding me? I felt that way when I was in labor having my first child.

We all want the best for our children and sometimes we think what if we aren't good enough. Reality is you aren't going to be the "perfect parent". There are NO perfect parents. We do what we feel is best for our children and sometimes we do make mistakes, even if they are just little ones.

As long as you love you child, Protect them from harm you will do fine. When you hold your child you are going to be filled with so much love in your heart you will just about burst. All the what if I'm not a good mom thoughts will fade because you will be too focused on your darling child.

I hope you have a smooth labor. I was induced twice so I know how you feel. Hopefully you will start to labor on your own. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Relax!! I am sure you will be a good Mom. There is a point just before you deliver when every woman who is going to be a first time mom worries about whether she will be a good mom. Just the fact that you worry about it shows how good you will be. Just love your baby thats not hard. Spend time with the baby thats not hard. All the rest will come when you need it. You will learn and so will baby !! Its going to be fun once you get past the first few weeks. Relax about labor too. If it gets to be too much ask for an epidural.

Answer 9

I was so scared it was unbelievable. I was having nightmares about leaving my baby at stores and dropping him. BUT once I heard that cry and he came to me the hurt went away and I was just in awe. It was a miracle to see this little person with tiny fingers and toes and every so tiny nails. When I was nursing I would just hold his hand and marvel at those tiny nails. Please know I was not ga-ga in love with him to start, it grew on me over a few days and now I cannot believe I love someone so much. Now he's 9 and does so many things himself I am starting to feel un-needed. It's so frustrating that they don't come with manuals!

When they are infants (which is so short) give them what they want - feed when hungry, hold (or put down) when cranky, and change when messy. And talk (or sing) to them whenever you’re doing anything with them. They ALREADY know your voice from hearing it in the womb and the sound of your voice can be so soothing.

Now about my first delivery, I have had 3, and #2 and #3 went much easier just because I knew what to expect. For me not knowing was the worst. I had to be induced and have my water broken for #1 before anything started to happen. For me labor with pitocin or with out felt the same. I went in all gung-ho about a fully natural birth - no meds - no episiotomy. WELL....I ended up with a shot in my IV (nubane ?) and an episiotomy and a healthy baby boy. Once I got the shot I relaxed and I started to progress much quicker. TALK TO YOUR NURSES - they are angles and will give you many options. Tell them up front what you want (epidural, IV meds, no meds) and they will work with you. I told them no meds and they did not mention any, but after a while they came to me and suggested a shot and why. For #2 and #3 and asked and listed to them - they do this every day!

Sorry this is so long.

Congratulations - you'll do great!!!!

Answer 10

I am exactly the same, for me labor is the least scary part of the whole thing. I am also young, I'll be turning 21 just before the due date, and my boyfriend will also be 21 if the baby is on time. It's good to know that I'm not the only person who is completely paranoid about being a parent.