We have been married 10 years and have 3 children...
He is taking 2 of them, but dropping them off with his mother, so he can go to a friend's and jam...
I will be stuck here 250 miles away with my 2 year old... My mom can babysit. Should I go out with my sister and have a drink and see a good band?
I have no intentions on cheating, I have been FAITHFULLY MARRIED...
He hasn't though.
I feel like I am being walked all over yet when I try to express my hurt to him, he acts like he has ADD and ignores it. And turns it around on me saying I am nagging him....
He says he loves me, but this is pretty routine.
What do I do?
2007-02-16 02:34:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are allowing your husband to treat you with total disregard for your feelings. He has come to learn to take advantage of you and discounts you with the words "you are nagging". Remember one thing, people treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Believe me, he is happy getting his way, and has no intention of changing. Why should he, you don't leave, you just nag, you let him, so why should he change? If I were you I would let him know that if he is not willing to show more respect for you and work towards these problems in your marriage, then he gives you no other option but to move on. And mean this, move on or stay and take it. The one thing I cannot stand is for a woman to complain and cry about her problems with her husband but do not make any attempt to stand up for themselves.Very frustrating. Men do not respect a pushover. Hope you think about what I have said. The decision is yours. Best of luck to you!
2007-02-16 02:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through hard times. Sometimes it is just unfair to be in a relationship when the other partner is not on the same frequency.
Since it has been a long time case already and you have tried to talk to him and he ignored it I would say Go for it IF you really want to. BUT, be careful, you need to face the responsability that comes with it as it will only lead to separation.
Forgetting your birthday could be a mistake but Valentine, which is commercialized everywhere is definitely NOT a mistake.
2007-02-16 10:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by Jay C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to have a talk with your husband. Not the talk about how he hurts you or how you feel. You have already done that and got nowhere. Some guys will do whatever they know they can get away with. Tell him what you expect of him and what you will not tolerate. I don't mean to hurt you any more than you already are, but it sounds like he has lost respect for you. You have to earn that back for yourself. Stand up for yourself and live your own life. You are just living in reaction to whatever he does. Go out with your sister, but only if you would have anyway, regardless of what he would be doing at the time. You can't change him, but you can change you.
2007-02-16 10:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by Deborah B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His behavior is irresponsible and self-centered. He's been unfaithful? And this is "routine??"
This is completely unacceptable and you have to communicate that to him. If he refuses to listen to your words, you must take ACTION.
Keep all the kids home with you when he leaves this weekend. Then pack up his stuff, leave it on the front lawn and change the locks. This step is his wake up call.
If you have a desire to stay married, you can file for legal separation to make your point. If you are totally fed up, go straight to divorce papers.
2007-02-16 10:45:35 · answer #4 · answered by not yet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let him do what he has "got" to do, and you do what you need to. It seems he has his priorities mixed up. Go out! Have fun with your sister! You can still bring the little one and have fun! Sometimes husbands need to be reminded that you have needs and are human too. Some time soon make plans for a girls night and go out and have fun with your friends. Leave him with the kids. Then maybe he will see where you are coming from!
2007-02-16 10:42:30 · answer #5 · answered by Tee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go Out. And right before you go, give him a call and let him know you are going out, I assure you, this will totally f--k up his JAM.
He sounds like a control freak and is using you. Stop taking his crap.
Let him go this time, but start making it clear that you two are a team. Future "jams" will be pre approved by the BOTH of you.
2007-02-16 12:49:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello wake up and smell the coffee, what is good for the goose is good for the gander,I'm not saying cheat on him but turn the tables. When was the first time he cheated?,stop and look at that
and take it for what it's worth. He may love you but is he in LOVE with you, that is what you have to ask yourself. So go out with your sister and have a wonderful time. Good luck yo you.
2007-02-16 10:57:00 · answer #7 · answered by bdgizzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go on and have a good time.
But I would tell him so that he won't think I'm sneaking around or paying him back for going away for the weekend.
Every so often even in a good marriage both people need to have good clean fun with friends.
2007-02-16 10:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about a visit to a therapist? Sounds like you need one. And you might need to go together.
This could just be a matter of lack of communication, but if he has cheated on you, and you think he might still be - why are you still with him? MAybe a call to a lawyer would be a good idea too.
2007-02-16 10:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by KB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember that saying? - No one can take advantage of you unless you allow them to! (it still applies after many years of being married)
Take time for yourself, no matter what it is you decide to do! And when he asks you what you did this weekend, tell him (with a huge smile on your face ) that you "treated" yourself to a nice B-day / Valentines Present, because you deserved it! And leave it at that...
2007-02-16 10:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by T. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋