where to start from? I still love him so much... I still very attractive to him sexually... We have a cultural collapse. He is Mexican and I'm Ukrainian. We have a son. Seven years together... Always fight.... verbally. I have family based cultural shock and so... much stress that my hair turning white..He is never happy. I have said Sorry so many times I'm feeling gilty or not.. I'm so exosted because I tried so hard to be what he want me to be. First it was 6 years of jellosy from his side and I was felling offendet because I though I love him can he see. He need new proof every day. I even have baby in some part because to proof him I want to be with him all my life. He said " have a baby with me if you love me" and I did. I have a son tnat I ALWAYS want.. Did he was satisfy with the proof..NO He find something else every day..We don't smile a lot because for the most part he does not undestand the meanning of my joks and I do not und.. his- pretending that I do... I want to be happy with him But I can't because we grow in differnt Countries. And I feel it in every aspect of our life... Now it is my turn to be jellos. I feel as he far away from me. I feel he love me... but it is different no passion, no interest.. In this Valentine Day he bring me a flowers.I said with the smile "I though I'll bring something to salabrate" and he said"For what?" My day was broken and day after that.. I feel I don't care anymore what he said. Whatever. I was pushed away so many times.. Now, I would brackup if I don't love him, if I don't have son, and if I would't be affraid to find somethig worse...At least he never lied to me!!! or was unfaithfull. So I'm. He just don't want to belive. There is so many questions I could ask.. what are you think of it.Anyone has expirience something simmular? What is it ? Sorry for the misspellings.
2007-02-16 02:07:21 · 6 answers · asked by iryna1974 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lots of things are wrong. But there are two that jump out immediately.
Marriages work best if both: are the same race, have the same politics, have the same background, agree on money, choose to have children, rather than just let it happen, and it goes on.... You are each from a different culture, and you each have a different mother tongue.... tough to reconcile.... Here's what's happening:
You are apparently rather sensitive, holidays, in particular about V. day, and most guy aren't... He has probably forgotten your birthday too, and that is just a thing lots of guys just don't get.
You major problems is one of lack of communication.... People don't become jealous unless it is over something they don't understand.... there is a very lot about this guy you don't understand..... I am not saying you are correct, nor that he is correct, it is just you are each on a different path, so to speak, and you are unable to each tell the other your needs and wishes.. and why? You two do not know how to communicate.
Advise? Get into a few sessions of counseling, hon... It is as if he were on one side of the road, and you in a different part of the city, even.... you aren't even close
You won't ever be happy married to this man and hon, he is not happy married to you either.....because he does not in any way fulfill your expectations of what marriage should be.... and he has no idea what marriage should be.... It may be better if you each went your separate way, but don't do so until you at least find out if that is indeed the best thing to do, so do get some counseling..... at least you'll find out why each of you do not communicate. Then make the decision to go on, or split.
good luck, hon
2007-02-16 02:41:42 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Search for a good relationship/marriage counselor and get professional help asap. If there's still mutual love and willingness to make things right, there's a chance that with help you'll grow to understand each other and not only save your marriage, but make it a happy one. I wish you best of luck
2007-02-16 02:23:54 · answer #2 · answered by praha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you need help. Not a bunch of people on Yahoo. See a marriage counselor. Perhaps it's something deeper than cultural differences. We can't help you. You need professional help.
2007-02-16 02:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no not really u should have think twice before u got him that son. the guy is unsecured about himself and about the relationship. now it is too late for u to back off because there is a kid involved. u should seek professional help.
2007-02-16 02:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) You must stop looking to a man to make you happy. He is human and will let you down. We can only find true joy in God. God never lets us down because He is true to His Word and He never changes.
**When your husband lets you down. Turn to God. You will soon learn to trust in God no matter what, and it will not matter when your husband lets you down because God keeps your spirit filled with love.
2) You must do as the Bible says and respect your husband, whether he is what you want him to be or not. Even if he shows no love for you, you must respect his leadership within your home.
**When your husband wants to argue and fight. Just listen to him. Respond in a way that you believe God would want you to respond. Always be honest, and do not be sarcastic. If he asks you if you are cheating--tell him the truth. Don't say, (in a joking way) "yes, I was with my boyfriend." And, don't get upset. Tell him that you respect your marriage and that it means more to you than anything in this world and you would never hurt God, him, yourself, or your child in such a way.
3) You must honor your husband.
**Don't call your husband names in anger, even if he calls you names. Don't talk badly about him to your friends or your family. Find something good in your husband and talk to others about his good qualities. Write him notes or tell him what you love or like about him.
4) You must love your husband.
**No matter what your husband does or says, love him with all your heart. (If he is abusive or if he is cheating on you, you are not obligated to stay with him).
Put God first in your life and your marriage will come together. If he is not a believer, he may end up leaving. The Bible says in this case to let him go.
Don't forget to pray for your husband. Pray for God to give you a new heart for your husband and for God to give your husband a new heart for you.
2007-02-16 02:22:53 · answer #5 · answered by Christian93 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on with your life,there is alot of fish out there.you'll find a good one someday.
2007-02-16 02:13:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋