What do i do?

Question

I am only 16, and i have never had a relationship. I've asked girls out before but just got rejected. I don't think im that ugly lol, but i can never seem to inerest anyone. Also, now i think i might be gay, i've started having dreams about my male friends, and i don't want to! I really want to grow up into a mature heterosexual relationship and have kids, i already have name ideas!

Answer 1

Just because you had a dream about your male friends, it doesn't mean that you're gay. Most people begin to explore and question their sexuality when they are your age. Look deep inside yourself, and I'm sure with time, you will find your answer.

Best of luck, love!

Answer 2

Having dreams of male friends is normal and part of growing up - just as females can look at another woman and find her attractive, men can do the same. Perhaps when you are asking these girls out you might seem desperate to them or you come across in a way that they are not comfortable with. If you want a g/f the best way to meet one is by beings friends with them first and get to know each other. Rejection is harsh but so is being with someone just for the sake of it and hurting them or getting hurt when the relationship ends. Take your time and get to know some girls and just be their friend and in time the relationship may turn into something more.
Just for info if perhaps you are gay or are confused then that too is normal and ok, it doesn't matter what other people say or think about homosexuals, all that matters is you. There are ignorant people out there but there are also a lot of understanding and accepting people as well

Answer 3

What we want and what life hands us are often two different things.

Dreams sometimes mean something and sometimes not. What 's the expression? "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" (that is, not a symbol for something else). It's normal at your age to start having dreams that involve sex, and sometimes the images just get mixed up, your body wants to have sex and your brain is thinking about your buds, and presto: sex with a buddy.

Maybe you're gay and maybe not. Being gay doesn't mean you don't also want to have kids, which is what is called a biological imperative, not directly connected to who we're attracted to.

If you aren't sure about yourself yet, then you're sexuality is still just developing and emerging. Some people know when they're 13 and some not until after college. What confuses things is that our society only paints one future for you: a heterosexual, married with kids. We all try to live up to that image, but if we're really gay, eventually we discover that we just don't fit in that picture. Are you trying to date girls because that's what's exepected of you, or because they really excite you? If you're just going through the motions, maybe the girls sense that and that's why they're not interested. If you really do like girls, then keep trying, eventually the right one will come along and like you back. Looks apparently have very little to do with it compared to common interests and personality.

Meanwhile, hang in there while you're still sorting things out, and keep your options open! Whoever and whatever you are becoming, you are far from alone and far from the first to have the same questions about yourself. Good luck.

Answer 4

You're only 16. Be patient. Some people take longer to bloom than others. Trust me, you're not missing out on anything at your age. Don't try to rush into a relationship because you feel like it's expected or like you're somehow missing out. Just give yourself time to work out what's going on inside. And even if you are gay, you can always adopt.

Answer 5

You have posed a very tough question/statement.

You are young - and you have not been in a str8 relationship and you will eventually get that opportunity. When that time comes - and you ARE in that dating/relationship part of your life (with a female) you will instinctively know (if) you are indeed attracted to females (in general). If you are attracted to females at the start of your male/female dating/relationship period of your youth and you (genuinely) continue to be (and) you DO NOT have thoughts of of males (friends or males in general) for a long time (say - a few years) then you quite possibily (might) be str8. I say this using the word - might - because if you continue to lead a str8 life and dating females (wanting to marry as well) - YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF *AND* *ANY* FEMALE TO *KNOW* FOR SURE - which it is you prefer. Since you have not had the chance to prove to youself and experience a close-up and personal relationship with a female (yet you have thoughts of males) and concidering your age - I for one will give you the benefit of the doubt - that you need time to live out the str8 life male/female discovery(s) that lay ahead of you.
Please, DO NOT rush in - in an effort to prove yourself/find out (IF) you are either or both - that would be very foolish and you will be depriving yourself of the "falling in love" (if that be the case) experience (which people experience few if any) times in their lives.

DO NOT "pretend" "self convince" "fake" "use" Yourself and ANY FEMALE in order to satisfy your NEED for a heterosexual life and your desire to have kids. That would be the MOST UNLOVING - SELFISH - INCONSIDERATE - FOOLISH - STUPID - thing YOU could ever do in your ENTIRE LIFE.

Only fools rush in!! And you are FOOLING NOBODY BUT YOURSELF!!!

I wouldn't go around announcing or eeven having thoughts of the fact you have Names in mind of your kids. Ask yourself - is it the Names (or) is it the kid's that YOU want.
You might having thought of those things - but - trust me - you are wasting energy with those thoughts.
(IF)You are "family bound" - FOCUS YOUR ENERGY TOWARDS BETTERING YOURSELF AND SCHOOLING YOURSELF SO YOU CAN BE THE FATHER AND THE HUSBAND THAT CAN *PROVIDE* FOR THOSE *KIDS* THAT *YOU* WANT SO DESPERATELY.!!!
You You You - ask yourself (if) it's "all about YOU" what YOU want!!! It sure does sound like that. I'm here to say - IT IS NOT. YOU become a MAN FIRST - a MAN that is intelligent and CAN PROVIDE FOR the WIFE/FAMILY. A man that is focused on what HE can do NOW and over the next several years - to achive/reach a place in his life where it is the *right* time to add a spouse and have a family tp the equation.
Even though you are only 16 - I guarantee you - you will be 30 - before you know what HIT YOU - that may be hard for you to grasp in your mind - it was for me too - then BAM!!! I say this for this reason..................................
Life is tooooooo short and DO YOURSELF A FAVOR - DON'T REACH 25-30 AND *WISH* YOU HAD waited/not rushed in/did things different/etc.....Reason with yourself - weigh the pros and the cons in your mind - know that for every action there is a reaction......ask yourself WHY AND WHAT WILL BE THE LONGTERM EFFECT - of everything you do. I mean EVERYTHING!!!!

Lastly - AND LISTEN UP - DO NOT MARRY OR ATTEMPT TO MARRY THE *FIRST* AND ONLY FEMALE THAT *FINALLY* AGREES TO SEE YOU ON A STEADY BASIS - IF YOU ARE A CODDLED MAMA'S BOY *AND* YOU *NEED* *RIGHT NOW* A MOTHER REPLACEMENT BECAUSE SOON YOU MUST FLY THE COOP - AND YOU *MUST* HAVE HER REPLACEMENT - THEN YOU NEED TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP AND QUICKLY!!!!

TOO MANY GUYS MARRY THE FIRST GIRL THAT SAYS YES - AND YOU KNOW WHY THEY DO ?????????
SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO LOOK ANYMORE - "YEH!!! I GOT MIINE"!!!! I'M SIMPLE AND SHE'S SIMPLE!!! BUT WE GOT EATH OTHER AND i'M LAZING AND INSECURE - SO AT LEAST "I GOT MINE - I'M SAFE" "I GOT MAMA'S REPLACEMENT" NOW I KNOW I WON'T HAVE TO MAKE THE BED OR WASH THE CLOTHES - "BECAUSE - I GOT MINE AND SHE LOVES ME (I THINK)."
I'M SIMPLE - SO SIMPLE IS AS SIMPLE DOES - I WON'T EVER HAVE TO BE ALONE -

THAT'S WHAT I FEARED MOST BUT I NEVER TOLD ANYONE!!!!

I FEARED BEING ALONE SO I DID SOME VERY FOOLISH THINGS AND FOOLED (I THINK) A LOT OF PEOPLE - BUT THATS OK - ---->
"because it's all about ME"!!!!!

Answer 6

You're young, it's normal to be confused. If you want to experiment, do it safely. Find people to talk with, in a decent chat room, in person, where ever you can feel safe speaking freely.
Don't feel pressured to label yourself yet, if you don't want to act on any of your feelings yet, don't feel pressured to do that either.
Relax, let your brain wander where it will, think things through, talk things over with other folks who may be experiencing the same confusion.
Good luck kiddo.

Answer 7

just because you dream about friends doesn't make you gay for starters. secondly you can still adopt if you are gay, and as for not having a girlfriend. i never had a boyfriend when i was school, but when i got to college my confidence increased and i did. so relax and don't stress about girls, boys, or whatever you are into

Answer 8

Im 16 and id have your babies anyday ;)
You just need to talk to lasses more and get close so it can lead onto other things.
The gay thing will just be a phase.

Answer 9

My husband didn't have a date until he was 18 and a half. His friends got girls. Rejection hurts. Satan would be most happy if you became gay. Remember ,they are dreams and thoughts . If you don't act them out. They aren't real. Teens don't, most of time see the beauty inside. Truth is you're little horny. I'm a mother of 6 kids. 2 are teens.16 girl and18 boy. My daughter, got drunk w/a friend ,well she committed a sexual act on her. My daughter felt so wrong, and dirty . Today , she as a boyfriend , who is not the most handsome,but nice to her. My son is charming ,and good looking and could sleep w/every girl in town. He chooses not too.I hope this help some. God Bless ,I'm available to except messages.

Answer 10

You have two options the way I see it. You either keep asking pretty girls out keeping your sights set high and sooner or later one might say yes, or

You start asking out desperate ugly women and score for sure.