Gay people...were you born that way, or did you make a choice?

Question

I'm a Christian Man (straight man with no intentions of converting), I just want to know were you influenced or taught something, or curious and then liked what fulfilled your curiousity? Or do you infact believe that you were born with an attraction to the same sex?

In no way am I trying to offend anyone. I understand that the subject matter and choice of verbage for the question automatically offsets some people. My intention is to learn for personal knowledge and better understanding. I love people and deal with a lot of people and it helps to know why and how people function. I mean no offense to anyone.

Answer 1

me personally don't believe that people are born gay, it is a choice that one makes. If anyone believes in the bible they would know that that type of lifestyle is something God condones. He clearly stated in 1 Corinthians 6: 6-10 that men who lies down with men will not inherit Gods kingdom, they can try to sugar coat it all they want but the its proof that homosexuality is not something good like people try to make it seem.

Answer 2

I too am christian and I happen to be a lesbian. I believe it is the way I was born. I knew when I was 8 years old that I quite liked girls and boys were my mates. I rode a skateboard, played at the swamp, built tents, loved fishing and hated wearing dresses. A full on tomboy. As I grew up I had boyfriends but was never happy, I had a couple of serious relationships with men and even got married but knew it wasn't what I wanted, I was trying to be straight cause thats what society expected. At 28 and the mother of 4 children I decided that I needed to be happy within myself. I met my partner and we have been togehter for 13 years and are very happy. Just an avearge family living in the burbs really. I had a wonderful relationship with both my parents and grew up with 2 brothers and a sister so my childhood was very normal. I went to a co-ed private school and did most things that teenagers do. My mum tells me that looking back she should have known that I was a lesbian, she can see it as clear as day now when she thinks about my childhood. I was very different to my sister and just like having another boy in the family. I am very lucky that my family are understanding and supportive of me. there are so many people that don't have support and understanding and it makes it very hard to deal with.

Answer 3

Born this way and when you ask this question try and think when did you know you were straight? Were you born that way? Please also do some reading up on the subject. Sexuality is not black and white and there are many differences in all of us yet we all remain ultimately human. Christianity teaches people that we must conform to a certain type of person yet it is very unnatural to think we can all be the same. Nature determines who we are not a book and the differences we have make this a more interesting and beautiful world to live in.

Answer 4

I am not the norm so I guess I am not the perfect person to answer this question: I was not born this way. I am by choice but many are born that way and it is as natural to them as liking the other sex is for you. I believe I am now who I was always meant to be. I feel, now looking back, all my roads lead to where I am now, with her. I am happy and isn't that what everyone wants? I think it is wrong to judge people just because they are different from yourself. If someone is happy and not hurting anyone what is the problem.

Maybe it was curiosity that lead me, but it felt natural to me. It just evolved over time as I was attempting to be what society wanted me to be. Before you know it, 13 years into our friendship and 3 years living together, we both were single and sick of guys and decided we could only trust each other with our whole hearts so we went exclusive. And since that day we have never been happier.

We have decided not to tell our families because they are of the same religion as yourself and we felt they would not understand and why hurt them if you don't have to. They are content with thinking we are just roommates and really close friends.

What makes me so not the norm is that fact that I am not attracted to other girls, just her. I still think some guys are hot I just have no desire to be with one. I guess you could say I am one of the lebians that has major trust issues with men and that is why I turned to the one female I was close to. See I always had a problem with the idea of having to leave her and lose our friendship when I got married. I tried having the guy live with us, back when we were just friends snicking things on the side, but that didn't work because rarely did her and him get along for long. (She also had boyfriends at this time) So when we were both in our 20's we decided to give us a try after we both came out of really bad relationships. (both with the oposite sex) and it worked, we are both happier than ever. And life is too short to be unhappy because society and your family think you should marry the oposite sex.

Answer 5

I was born entirley asexual, and i'm mostly asexual now, but i can have feelings for boys or girls. It seems to me that all we know when we're born is that we want to suckle on something, beyond that everything is subjective. And indeed people can change their preferances over time, even after they've developed a seemingly perminent one. I guess nobody really makes a choice about anything.
That said, it seems likley the biochemistry at birth (higher or lower levels of testosterone etc) might give a person a mental predisposition towards one or the other, though as i'm no neuroscientist, i can't claim to be able to verify this

Answer 6

Definitly born this way. I have been looking at the same sex since I was very young. I can tell you I did not choose to be gay.

I grew up in a very anti gay home. My parents still have a hard time with me being gay and by boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3yrs. So there was definatley no influence.

Answer 7

I was actually born with the attraction although it didn't manifest itself until the same age that all sexual attractions begin to manifest. The only actual influence was by other people attempting to get me interested in girls. Homosexuals do not attempt to convert people in spite of what you seem to think. We weren't molested as children by a same-sex offender, we weren't influenced by a bad relationship with a parent (usually it's "theorized" a male who didn't "bond properly with his father or had an overly influential mother tend to be homosexual, but those theories don't hold any water), we aren't possessed or influenced by the boogyman, we simply are attracted to our own gender.

Answer 8

Ya know what- here is a guy trying to ask a question. Trying to respect you enough to try and understand you and what do you do. You are mean and hateful to him. I think you should be grateful to people who actually care enough about you to try and understand you. Why must you read such negative things into what people are saying. Why do you have so much defensiveness in your heart. Most of us Christians love you with all our hearts. Yet you continually are mean and judgemental of us.
Look- get over it. We are all sinners. All of us. Let me repeat that ALL OF US. You are no better than me and I am no better than you.
Please try and be nice to people who really want to know how it is for you. It is so hard to be friends with people who don't want to be understood.
We all have been judged against in some way. Which BTW is a sin.

Answer 9

Born on a one way street.

Answer 10

I'm sorry this answer is so long, Cpeezie, but I hope this helps you even if you're the only one who reads it. We face a lot of negativity and bashing from people here (as you'll see from browsing through previous questions), so we can sometimes be a little aggressive, even if the questioner is well-intentioned. That doesn't excuse rude responses to your question, but I hope it helps explain them.
I shared this with someone else recently, and wanted to share it with you too:

While I was growing up and going through puberty, I gradually began to realize that I was not attracted to members of the opposite sex, but instead to members of my own. My church, parents, and everyone else around me told me my whole life -- since even before I felt these feelings -- that this was sinful and wrong.

Naturally, I found this frightening, confusing, and isolating. I had never even met a gay person before, and hadn't really heard much about it on TV or anywhere else. As I went through high school, I wondered who I could possibly talk with to discuss what I was experiencing. I became paranoid, trying hard to keep anyone from finding out my secret, while thinking that I was alone in my feelings. I kept dating girls, in the hope that it would kindle something inside me or change me somehow. It didn't.

I went off to a religious college and wound up in counseling there for a couple of years to try to "cure" myself of this through behavioral therapy and lots of prayer... asking God every night to help me change. Sometimes falling asleep crying, wondering why I was made this way, why I couldn't seem to change, and why God didn't seem to want to help me to change. I began to question whether a God could even exist if he would choose to make me a living "abomination." Meanwhile, I had persistent headaches and other problems due to all of the stress this was creating. This whole process went on every day for about 7 years.

Then, I gradually realized that maybe there was a purpose in all of this. Maybe I was actually made this way for a reason. After much prayer and meditation, I began to see that despite what I had been told, God had a plan for me and that I was made gay because, for whatever reason, it will help me be a better person to others. I began to realize that all of this turmoil and stress had actually made me a better person than I might otherwise be, because I now felt much more empathy towards others for whatever problems they might be experiencing in their lives.

As I began to accept who I was and thank God for it, I began to be able to care more about other people and help them with their own problems. The headaches, stress, and other problems disappeared. Because of what others had told me my whole life, I doubted that I would ever find someone who shared my religious beliefs and also happened to be gay, but I still had a sliver of hope.

Then, one day when I least expected it, in a situation so random it defied all probability, I met someone who loved God as much as I do, cared as much about other people, and wanted to help me develop into the best person I can be -- just as much as I wanted to help him develop into the best person he can be. Everything about him is better than I had ever hoped possible. It was one of the happiest moments I had ever experienced. We're still together, settled down, sharing life, and functioning as a family.

Answer 11

Born.

You have no intentions of converting? Well, I guess there goes my last chance at happiness.