What is the wisest thing to do when your husband has a bad habit?

Question

He has the habit of talking bad about other people, and to complain about little things, I find it anoying because I dont think is not nice to put people down behind their backs or to look at the tiny little things taht arent importan, we could use that time to do positive things, Ive told him how I feel and he gets angry, so Ive made the decision to just get out of the house to walk and relax or do something positive for myself. But I wish he could understand that his company when he is so negative is not pleasant and that it just makes a bad environment at home.

Answer 1

It sounds as if he may have low self esteem and he thinks that by putting other people down, it makes himself look better. It could also be that he is insecure and he is pointing out their faults because he is afraid of losing you. That way, you will see their faults and realize what a good guy he is. I know how frustrating that can be to live or even be around someone that is so negative. My heart goes out to you. Have you tried counseling? If he won't go, then I think you should go. They can give you a lot better advice than we can.

My whole family is that way and I hate it! I just chose not to be around them anymore. I know it's not that simple for you, being that is your husband.

Answer 2

It is not just a bad habit, it is his personality and it is really hard to change someones personality.

Yesterday I came across something that I thought was very profound.

Control your thoughts, because thoughts become words
Control your words, because words become actions,
Control your actions, because actions become behaviours
Control your behaviours, because behaviours become your personality.

With that in mind, it will be hard to change the personality of another person - it is hard to change our own personality and behaviour, however, if he wanted to change it he could, with your help.

You would try having a "Non-Negative evening" when you both could only speak positively about things - work, neighbours, friends, family, TV shows, etc. If he realized how his thoughts and speech lead to even more negativity, then he might be able to change his behaviour.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

There are a few things that you should know/do :
a. He may be trying to vent his frustrations to you because he may not have any other person to talk to. He may think that you are the only person he can share his private thoughts with.
b. You can always try to guide him by raising other topics for discussions eg your children if any, friends current affairs etc. and let him know that there are other bigger things in life.

Sit down and have a good talk with him and tell him your views (what you have written above).

Answer 4

The wisest thing to do with a bad habit is just to get over it. You can't change him, and I am sure you have many habits that he finds annoying... that's life.

Answer 5

Your husband was probably like this when you married him, and isn't likely to change now. So, just keep doing what you're doing, and walk away when he's talking about people. If he has no desire to change, then he won't, and you can't make him. Hmm, for better or worse, sounds like this is the worse....

Answer 6

You should not stop telling him to keep his opinions to himself about other people. when he starts ask him why he thinks he is so much better than the people he talks about. or does he talk about them to make himself feel better. that is usually the reason.
so what if he gets bad, you should not have to hear that stuff in your home if you do not want to.

Answer 7

My husband too. I like to give him a dose of his own medicine every now and then,it don't shut him up but boy it makes me feel better.

Answer 8

Get him to a psychologist to help him build his own self esteem.

Answer 9

well you could give him your habit and let him tell those on the internet about personal problems.

Answer 10

All you can do is discuss it with him and try not to keep harping on it - good luck