I'm 15, for almost a year my relationship w/ mom was kinda icy and distant. I made a mistake, I'm not perfect, and she was kinda harsh, said I had broken her trust and for some months she really acted as she didn't trust me, very cold. To me this was an emotional torture, I just made some mistakes, I'm a very good girl, she agrees and even says she's proud of me. There was no reason for her reaction, every one messes up sometimes and forgiveness is one of the most important things of a parent. Instead of submitting me to that emotional and unfair torture, she should've helped me to overcome my mistakes. She failed bad as a mom. A month ago we talked about this, I said everything I thought, said she was a kinda selfish woman, cause she wants a daughter to be proud of but no to love. I hurt her too, threw at her face some mistakes she made. Then, she proposed we forget about that and start over. She's been nice, invited me for several mother/daughter days, but I can't get over
2007-02-16 00:17:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Things like this take time, give it some. After a while you'll put a side all the pain, and hurt, and replace it with good times you've had together.
2007-02-16 00:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I have to say that 15 is the toughest time to be a girl and how you grow from here can greatly effect your future happiness! Sounds like it's you being selfish and unforgiving now. Once trust is broken, just saying "sorry" and "I'm a good girl" aren't going to be an instant fix, and neither is forgivness. You are still mad at your mom for not forgiving you more quickly. You've admitted yourself that noone's perfect, both of you have made mistakes in the past. That's just where it should be. Move on and leave whatever happened in the past. Grow out of feeling sorry for yourself and make your own life better by not losing the lesson you should have learned by the mistake you made. Don't repeat the mistake. Think before you speak. Words hurt and can cause lasting damage. Think about that when you argue with your mom and try not to say things just to hurt her feelings. Not knowing what happened, I can't say if there was a justification for mom's reaction, but I can say you will treasure an honest, open relationship with your mom in the end. Family is a great treasure. Treat family like the most valuable possession you will ever have in your life.
2007-02-16 03:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by RK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortantely when you hurt her she lashed out to hurt you also. And, when you broke her trust she ended up doing the same thing to you out of hurt and anger.
We all make mistakes, moms included. Yours made one as well. Instead of treating you badly she could have handled that much better and still treated you with the love she has for you. Sometimes life is hard for us all...I imagine your mom is a single mom and is very stressed.
She's only trying to do the best she can for you. Perhpas her best isn't a good as the best as someone else...but it's still her best.
I'd try as hard as you could to be the better person. Just realize she's trying hard too. Of course your hurt and hopefully she's stop being so harsh on you. If you start to feel she's moving in the same direction politely remind her where she's going. Sometimes in the moment it's hard to realize how unfair your being.
I hope you can be the better person. I'm 29 and now expecting my second baby. And, I wish I could have been the better person in the relationship with my mom. But, I wasn't and caused everyone more pain than was necessary. However, I only came to this conclusiion after the harm was done and we were all much older. I wish you and your mom more than that.
2007-02-16 00:26:29 · answer #3 · answered by Baby #3 due 10/13/09 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost my Mum before the age of 15. So please try harder to get over this. Because one day you might not have your Mom there to share your feelings with. Life is too short honey to worry about fights when your a teenager. You have so much to look forward to with your Mother and your own life. Put your effort into more important things like your school work or extra activities or even how to patch things with your Mom. You sound like such a bright girl and don't think your Mom failed you. We don't always do the right things by our children but that doesn't mean we don't try. We can only do what we know or what we feel in our hearts. I am sure your Mom loves you with all her heart and would love nothing more than to have you close to her and bloom into a beautiful woman. Good luck and have Faith in each other.
2007-02-16 00:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by Mum to 2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is wait, and do your best every day to forgive her. It takes time to heal anything.
I'm 15 too, I know it's tough with parents. You're mom's a person too, and she really is proud of you and really does love you. We all make mistakes, but to err is human, to forgive divine (or canine, or feline, or whatever you happen to like. (:) and all that.
Recovery will mean that you accept that it was tough, mistakes were made, and now you have moved on. The experience won't have sucked any less, but it will be in the past rather than the present.
2007-02-16 01:21:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to yourself. You have asked her to open herself back up to love and now you are going to snuff her off.. that is not going to work. I am not sure what you did and I really do not want to know, but if it caused her to act that way, then you better take all you can get from her. Do not ask for the walls to come down on her side and you build one right back up. You have talked to her and made her realize how she was acting.. she made a truce with you! Move on and get along. You have to start over.. how about today. Good luck!!
2007-02-16 01:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've taken a huge first step by getting all those issues out in the open. Now it will just take time. Remember that you made a mistake and parents make them, too. Just don't do anything to break her trust again or you'll be back at square one and it will be harder to rebuild...
2007-02-16 00:25:46 · answer #7 · answered by Nasubi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about what you are doing (It is the same thing she did "can't get over" ) She felt love for you but could not forget what you have done, and now she is trying but you won't let her. Trust is hard to earn back and it really depends on what it was that you did. Try to forget and start over like your mom is trying. And she does love you and you know that
2007-02-16 02:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by ?Sherbear ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is pretty confusing cause you never said what you did to cause a problem, but from what i am hearing is a year ago you did something and your mom was still having a problem with IT.
a month ago you talked she proposed to start over and has been nice? so she was the problem at first and now you are the problem? grow up, both of you. nobodys relationship is perfect get over and get on with life.
2007-02-16 00:59:02 · answer #9 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep in mind, the relationship between parents and kid totally changes when the kid hits teenage, and you ( the teen) probably dont even notice it.. im not at all saying teens are bad, just going thru new stuff in your body...plus its natural for a teen to not talk to mom or dad as much, they are forming who they are and learning independance.. sometimes thats real hard for moms to understand too..
just know when you hit your 20, youll be better and so will mom..
2007-02-16 00:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by s p 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋