Married people--Once a cheater?

Question

In general, Once a cheater, Always a cheater, or no?

Once a sneak--always a sneak? What do you think?

Answer 1

If the cheating was a purely sexual thing than I can see the person regretting it and changing. If there is more feeling involved than just the sex I think it's pretty much impossible. See, most people can't imagine a case where sex does NOT equal love.

Answer 2

Not always the case. I think if a person cheats and gets by with it then they are more likely to continue to cheat, but there are some that have cheated once and the guilt and anguish have been so great that they never do so again, or just getting caught they realize first hand what all they have to lose.
Sneaks are a different breed altogether. I think every one is a sneak to a certain degree, it human nature. Some people go over board with their snooping or they let it consume them. I have always prided myself that I trusted my girls and never read their diaries or went through their rooms looking in draws and closets, they never gave me reason to, but even I can't say that I didn't check out their friends or boyfriends by asking innocent questions to other people or when I emptied pockets of coats and jeans that I didn't open folded papers (mostly to check if it was just scrap paper or notes, but I read them).

Answer 3

In a way yes—once a cheater always a cheater but then another way—no because if they actually fall in true love and someone cheats on them they will be hurt and may not cheat anymore.

Answer 4

Within the same relationship, that is mostly true.

But someone who cheated on a first wife, could be a non-cheater with a second.

It's a matter of the respect you have for the other person, and the value of the relationship in your life

Buuuut...if you just caught your husband cheating and he promised not to do it again...he almost certainly will. The statistics are overwhelmingly in that direction.

Answer 5

It's sort of paradoxical, but generally... any statement that begins "Always" or "Never" is a logical fallacy when we are dealing with non-definitions (.e.g. zero is NEVER one ).

But I would say, also, that if a person has a pattern of cheating, lying, and other character problems... unless some sort of profound life-changing events have led them through a long period of reformation, then they probably won't change.

Everybody can mess up once in the course of their life (it's how you learn, and hopefully you got that learning out of the way when you were younger), but if you keep making the same mistakes over and over and over, then there is probably something fundamental about your character that needs to change, and that rarely happens, and I have never heard of it happening without a great deal of trauma.

That being said, it's a fallacy of generalization.

Answer 6

Generally, yes.
But always, no.

Trust is a very hard thing to rebuild, and the person that was "cheated on" will always wonder and be suspicious.


There a few people who do change their ways when they almost lose the good thing they had right in front of them all along.

Answer 7

yes - and here's why. They got away with it once - even if they get caught, they'll just convince themselves this time they won't make the same mistake, and cover their tracks better. Even if you (the cheated) watch their every move from now on, and keep it from being easy, that won't stop that person from thinking about it - why? because they want something else, they are not satisfied (doesn't mean they don't get everything they should need) - but are just a holes.

Answer 8

YES AND YES.

CHEATING IS ABOUT EXCITEMENT AND THRILLS. AND ONCE YOU EXPERIENCE IT THE FIRST TIME, THEN YOU SPEND THE REST OF THE TIME PLOTTING AND PLANNING YOUR NEXT ADVENTURE. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT CHEATING THAT ARE ADDICTIVE. THE POSSIBILITY OF GETTING CAUGHT.......THE "RUSH" THAT COMES WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU DIDN'T.....THE EFFORT THAT IS MADE TO ACTUALLY PLAN AN ESCAPADE........THE NEED TO FIND A PHONE TO USE THAT CAN'T BE TRACED BACK......WATCHING OVER YOUR SHOULDER WHILE DRIVING TO MEET HIM.....LOOKING FOR SOMEONE YOU KNOW THAT MIGHT SEE YOU......ACTUALLY CHECKING INTO THE MOTEL AS SOMEONE ELSE.......THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T TELL ANOTHER LIVING SOUL.......KEEPING THE SECRET..........

AND OF COURSE, THE SEX!!!

I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THAT ONCE CHEATING IS IN YOUR BLOOD, IT'S THERE FOREVER. A PERSON MAY CHOOSE TO FIGHT IT THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, BUT I THINK THAT AT SOME POINT IN TIME, IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. ADDICTION.

Answer 9

It depends on the circumstances. Are you doing anything to push your spouse away from you, or make him feel unloved or unwanted (such as witholding sex or companionship) Do you give him the cold shoulder when you should be talking to him? You should examine your own behavior first, and see if you contributed to his cheating. If you honestly feel you did everything you could to make things work, and he still cheated, then perhaps he is just that type, and always will be.

Answer 10

No, I don't believe that old saying is true all of the time. People cheat for different reasons and if they truly regret what they did, they would never hurt their partner again. If they really love each other they can work through it together.