Marriage: Does it often change relationships for the worse?

Answer 1

a marriage license doesnt change a relationship for the worse, people do..

What happens is most people find it hard to be the "real " them while dating, out of fear that the other person will leave... so they tend to put up the front of being this wonderful person..for the most part..even when they've lived together for a few years prior this still happens to some degree, still holding back just a little.. etc..

Then what happens is after the marriage "high" , they fall into routine, and they start relaxing and being themselves and quirks start coming into play more.. and things u didnt see prior to the marriage ur now seeing.. the passion, and excitment of it all has faded.. and now ur just two people sharing in a life.. and instead of working on keeping the passion, romance and excitment in the marriage, most just settle into being content.. they get comfortable with fighting with each other, sometimes to the point of being mean thinking well no matter what they say or do the other will always be there.. think about it.. not many people can say that they treat their significant other exactly the same they did the first six months of their relationship as they do 5 years down the road.. their not as cautious with their words, their actions like when u first started dating, ur not doing the same things to try and impress, or make the other realize that their the only one for u.. it has become routine, work, kids, home, maybe alittle tv.. bed.. and do it all again the next day.. making mad passionate love for some has become more of a chore, and more of a wham bam thank u ma'am type of sex life..

How many times have we had people say.. "If i knew he or she was like this i wouldnt of married them" or "They didnt start actting like this till the wedding ring was on their finger".. The security that tends to come with wedding vows.. brings out the real person.. and after time.. life becomes routine and boring, and for some it tends to bring out the worst in people.. they start getting more and more irritated with the others bad habbits or quirks.. the "cloud 9 phase has ended" doesnt mean u dont love each other, just means that "real life" has begun.. Now unfortunately.. most cant make through this stage, they have this thought that marriage is going to be some "live happily ever after" fairy tale..and when its not this romantic , exciting life, or a Leave it to Beaver type life.. people start thinking that maybe they made a mistake..

Problem is most couples go through this.. the ones that last 25+ years are ones that stuck it through the next phase.... but most people especially now a days, give up to easily.. they want things handed to them on a silver platter, and they want the easy quick fix.. and for alot of people the easy quick fix, is divorce..

Answer 2

It isn't "marriage" that changes anything, it's the emotional maturity of the people involved, who are now living together, and either enjoying themselves or driving each other crazy.

If a couple doesn't have enough shared interests/activities, and instead find themselves hanging with separate groups of friends, that can be a problem.

If a couple doesn't have a sufficient sense of compromise, they won't be able to work through even the smallest problems without a lot of emotional trauma.

If a couple doesn't have enough sympathy and forgiveness, they will never put mistakes (and there WILL be mistakes) behind them and move on.

Basically, a couple should spend at least a YEAR evaluating each other, at least on the basis of the things mentioned above.

Failure to do so often results in a "rude awakening."

Answer 3

I think a lot of peple get married for 'romantic' reasons and don't think about the day to day stresses and strains a relationship will face over the years together. People think it will help them stay together and it won't - only they can do that for themselves. Marriage is not a magic formula for a happy partnership but a happy partnership, one that allows for changes in each other, that accepts and compromises is a formula for a successful marriage. Likewise a poor marriage will show up the flaws and cracks in an unhappy relationship. It is possible to paper over those cracks with a big dress and a lavish reception for a time but they show through again.

Answer 4

In some cases where the two individuals involved are not mature enough to work through the issues and responsibilities of a relationship. Marriage is a very serious commitment that should not be entered into lightly. And if both involved are serious and willing to work through and compromise. Both having open communication and willing to speak of their needs, wants and desires. Then the relationship can be very rewarding and loving. However, If their are important elements lacking such as honest open communication, a serious commitment to make it work. It is probably doomed. God bless****

Answer 5

I think it does and will IF the husband and wife have not prepared for their marriage more than they prepared for the wedding; If they have not discussed all the mundane things beforehand, I'm divorced because I didn't do this, after I got married suddenly it was assumed by both of us, we were both guilty; we would take on pre-perceived roles, you know like he'd take out the trash and mow and I'd cook and do dishes, that kind of stuff, since we hadn't discussed it, each of us assumed in our own minds what "parts" we would play in the marriage......of course I was young then too; flash forward 15 years, I'm older and wiser and engaged and we have discussed money and laundry and dishes and mowing and we are obviously more mature and we'll both do whatever needs to be done to get the chores done so we have weekends free to play!

Answer 6

Some say it does, and its the whole commitment thing, it affects those who weren't ready to get wed yet, as they weren't sure if it was the right thing to do at the time! But thought it sounded great and thought about the wedding etc etc.

To some marriage is a very special and important time of their lives and they are serious about it. Marriage doesn't effect these people but those who don't take it seriously will end up getting divorced!

Answer 7

I don't think it should. Marriage is a progression in the relationship. A progression to building a family. This will only work if both people are at the same point in their lives, and believe in working together. If both want the same things in life, then it shouldn't. It will be harder, but if the two are able to work together it doesn't have to be harder than it should be.

Answer 8

depends what your relationship was like before you got married. I think if your relationship has problems, then being legally joined together could make it feel like you're in prison, and then the problems are magnified. If, however, you have a good relationship before marriage then I believe that the promises you make on your wedding day just enhance the love and friendship between you, making you feel more committed to each other.

Answer 9

Relationships are better when understanding and co-operation is shared by partners. Marriage is institutionalisation of relationship which doesn't change if the underlying principles are adhered to. There is no scope for 'I' in a Marriage its ALWAYS 'we' that is to be beared in mind.

Answer 10

marriage changes relationships. no question about that. but how it changes a relationship depends on the people involved.