I've been married 11 years. We have an 11 y son. I fell out of love with hubby but decided to just stick it out. However, I met someone and fell in love with him. I've told my husband I dont love him anymore and moved out for a week. But my husband begged me to come back. I felt sorry for him and sad for putting an end to it, so I ended up agreeing to return but that was against my true wishes. I cried the whole time. Now he's struggling to win me back but I'm still deeply in love with my boyfriend. I just wanna die. If I stay I'll make everyone happy except me. If I go I'll be happy but everyone else will be miserable.
2007-02-15 22:56:05 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER CHEATED IN THE FIRST PLACE. THAT IS WHY. PEOPLE GET HURT. YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT YOUR SELF WHEN YOU CHEATED AND YOU STILL ARE. SO SAD.
2007-02-15 23:01:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
You married for better or worse and it is not guaranteed that you will be happy with your lover either a little happiness is not always worth it when you cheat it sound as though your husband loves you so much that is why he asked you to marry him and you obviously excepted you promised for better or worse it sound like your vowel was a lie if your husband is not mistreating and he is good to you I advise you to hang in there because you could make a big mistake losing him in the end if he find out you have a boyfriend believe you don't miss your well untill it goes dry do you know how many women including myself wish they had a good man? I am a single mom and it is not easy you will find out for yourself if you are on a mission to to make yourself happy I hope it it's worth it because if is not you might find yourself alone in the end that is a big possibilty never SAY NEVER! I hope it is not the sex that your boyfriend gives you that help you make your decision I hope you know what you are doing you can really mess your life up! So it's up to you but you better do it right! What goes around remeber it comes right back around to you so becareful what you say and do to your husband he is still your husband!
2007-02-15 23:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by crystal_clear_0000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahhh.. i know how u feel. Kinda. Ive only been married 5 years.. altogether anyways. About two years ago i met someone who i thought was great. He said all the things i wanted to hear. My husband wasnt bad to me, but he wasnt like what i THOUGHT i wanted him to be. Like when we first met, type thing. So anyways... things got bad when i started talking to this other guy. It was nothing more than talking but he was always saying the best things to me. And about a year later i told my husband i wanted a divorce. He didnt "beg" me to stay but he deff. didnt want me to leave. And he didnt understand why i wanted to leave. I just said things werent the same and im not happy. So i ended up dating the guy i was talking to you and he was really good to me and that didnt change. But no matter what i couldnt and didnt want to get over my husband. Long story short i was the one who f* up , obviously, but i thought iw ould be happier without being married and being with the other guy. I wasnt. No matter what. I was lucky enough to get a second chance from my husband and we got remarried and i seriously could NOT be happier right now! So seriously think it through REALLY good... things always seem greener on the other side. If your husband is begging you to stay, hes willing to work at it. Stop talking to other guy for a while and try things with your husband and put some effort into it. You dont realize what you have. Thats just me anyways. I will never let anyone in again. I want to be married to him for the rest of my life. I have a 4 year old son with him. Just really.... think it through. You may not get a second chance. Good luck.
2007-02-16 00:17:23 · answer #3 · answered by s k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were wrong to form a relationship while you still lived under the same roof as your husband, not to mention while you were still married. If you leave and do it for yourself, you deserve to be painted as a cheater. It's just not right.
I'm not saying you should stay, either. If it's not going to work out between you and your husband, then it's best for you two to separate. But giving him that chance to reconcile is what separates the cheaters from the rest. He deserves that chance, but whether or not you should give it to him depends on how much you care about your new boyfriend. Is he worth going through hell to be with?
I guess the point is to be 100% sure that there's no chance at a successful relationship with your husband before you walk out that door for good. He deserves that much for being faithful.
2007-02-15 23:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you only get one chance in life. If this guy makes you happy and you love him why stay in a marriage that does not make you happy. If you no longer love your husband you have to set him free. Going back and forth Will only make matters worse. You cannot keep him on this emotional roller coaster. You need to tell him its over. As far as your son is concerned you must stay friends with his father. Show him that his relationship with his dad will not be threatened. He will be OK if you do it right. You are giving your husband all the wrong signals. You coming back only made it harder for you to leave.
Be strong and stand up for what you want and be happy!!
2007-02-16 01:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens every day and it seems the fate of fatigued relationships. BUT, you do know that the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence. Have you lived with your boy friend? Do you know his idiosyncracies well enough or are you still wearing rose colored glasses? What does it really mean "fell out of love" or "deeply in love" ? Try to get some counseling and a good counselor can get you to answer many questions and some you haven;t even thought of. And it can resolve your dilemma objectively one way or another.
2007-02-15 23:05:24 · answer #6 · answered by emiliosailez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a shame that people today are not willing to work through the rough years in a marriage. You no longer feel love for your husband so your answer is to go find someone new and exciting. That works...until you become bored with that one and need another new and exciting person. In the meantime, the person that you made the vows to stick with through all the rough times, the child you had with him, and all your relatives just get tossed aside while you go on your quest for "true love".
2007-02-15 23:05:24 · answer #7 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps after 11 years of marriage the fiscal attraction diminishes, perhaps you don't feel fulfilled anymore (both mentally and fiscally), perhaps your jobs have taken over your lives and you have forgotten to just love each other. Who knows. Anyway, in my opinion, if you leave your husband, you may stay with your boyfriend for ever, or just a month and after that realize what you did and be miserable. Just think if very well, before you do something you may regret it. And if your husband is doing it's best to win you over again, maybe, just maybe you could try to remember what made you fall in love with him, am maybe you will find out that you had your true love all along beside you. Just maybe.
2007-02-15 23:04:47 · answer #8 · answered by ioanaforyou 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first of all staying in a loveless relationship for the sake of others does not work, everything you do and say has an effect on all around you. your son will quickly adjust to whats happening, and its been proven time and time again the younger your children are when divoricing the easier it is on them. i stayed far to long in a love less relationship with my x for the sake of my children. now six years later after the separation and two years after the divorce my sons says it was best for all. people who are in a relationship with another for a long time, have their personality molded by them, to a degree. you need to find out who you are and where you are heading, are you in love with your boyfriend because he's everything your husband is not, or because of the freedom he appears to have. have you felt trapped for a long time? these are just a few things to ponder over. the best. we as humans can not be all things to everyone. unless we are true to ourselves first. so ask yourself this can you go on living a lie, for the stake of others. Will all concerned know what you are doing and why? what price is your son going to pay because of you staying or going. it takes a real strong person to admitt their emotions to their spouse in such a way, so i am sure you will have no problem adjusting to what ever happens. your son you must realize knows whats going on, and may be having a hard time dealing with it. the question you have to ask is in the long term whats best for him. i found out the hard way that my sons had known my marriage was a facade for a long time, and could not understand why i had stayed. as my oldest said dad you stayed together for the sake of the family, you where the rock that held it together. when you said no more, the truth came out, and we surived, and now the three of us are closer and stronger then we ever were.
2007-02-16 00:04:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
staying wont make everyone happy, not you, bcoz its not what u want, not ur husband, bcoz he'll know its not what u want and this will reflect onto your son too, so none of u will b happy. I think, hard tho it is, u have to do whats right by your son, and yourself, its hard but u have to make the step and stance for the long term, greater good, in time your husband will carve a new life for himself, and so will you, whatever it may be, but for now, you have to make the 1st step, good luck
2007-02-15 23:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by ♠ Merlin ♠ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not in any position to judge you unlike the others because i don't know you. although i believe the infidelity is unacceptable, what's done is done. my advice is: take time for yourself, away from everyone else. think about it really hard because this is your life, you only get to live it once so live it right. do what makes you happy because life's too short to be miserable. but there is a time for everything. don't rush into your new relationship because you might end up regretting it. think about what matters to you and follow that. i hope this helps.
2007-02-15 23:05:10 · answer #11 · answered by nic_chan35 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋