Im in a gay relationship and i am finding that after a year our sex lives have changed completely. How can i get it back on track. I love him with all my heart, but dont know why our sex life is well almost non existant. Need some Help ASAP.
2007-02-15 22:37:03 · 14 answers · asked by Taven 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Why don't you ask your partner. After all it is a most important part of your relationship and if you can't ask about that well there is a problem. Things are different when they are fresh and new and there is lots of exploring to do. Maybe you have become just another boring couple with nothing else to look forward to than the pipe and slippers. It helps to be mysterious and enigmatic full of surprises and unpredictable. Throw all your cares away and go away for the weekend to some great place where you can get back to where you were. If it is boring now can you imagine in another five years??? Don't forget there are two people in your relationship, it's not all up to you to get things back on track...sit down and talk about it, communication is the number one thing in any relationship.
2007-02-18 04:46:55 · answer #1 · answered by Dr Paul D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know lots of couples who've had that problem. Understand that being in a year long relationship is kinda like being married, there's less excitment. It's not new anymore, but that's really a bad thing either. Some people just don't have a very high sex drives (But in my opinion it should never be non-existent) and you kinda have to work at that.
I could tell you to buy him roses and champagne and swoon him and such but it probably wouldn't help. This is something you should discuss with him. That's just my suggstion, but you could always use toys or body oils, etc. to spice up the actual sex. A couple years my girlfriend didn't like to have sex as much and that bothered me because, well, frankly, I'm a sexual person. But through talking to her I found out she was just bored with doing the same thing, so we started using toys and it worked great.
Wish you luck and hope I helped.
2007-02-15 22:51:10 · answer #2 · answered by Thief of Hearts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a book with various ideas for being creative in the bedroom. Yes, it will feel a little bit cheesy, but hopefully you will both see the fun and humor in it. You may even find something you never imagined you would like!
Alternatively, take a little holiday away from each other for a week or two. A lot of people I know who have been together for a long time have periods every year where they are apart from each other for awhile. For them, it helps them realize how much they enjoy each other and puts new life back into the relationship when they return.
2007-02-15 22:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by DavidGC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3yrs. One thing we learned very early on, and I think this is the success to our relationship, is communication. We sit down and talk about what our fantasies are. He did not want to talk about it, at first thinking I might think of him as being a bit strange, but if you love each other and you know each other's boundaries( eg our's both is a big fat no to 3 or more somes) and with this everything is great in that department. Talk to one another, it works. Try out one another's fantasies.
The only spice we need is the type that repels in-laws! hahaha
2007-02-15 23:18:22 · answer #4 · answered by Oracle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you received a lot of good answers already . Mine may be a bit crude, but here goes. If sex dies in the first year of a relationship there's nothing that will save it. DVDs,, toys, fantasies, Gay Lord love poems, nothing. IMHO
Mutual love and passion are key to sex. What's missing.."spice"?
I don't think so. Spices are temporary. Often used in overwhelming abundance, sometimes drowning the truth.
2007-02-15 23:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think ( it's true !).... I think maybe you need to figure out what went wrong before trying to make things right.
In my failed relationship... I figured out too late that I had not been listening. Our sex life died the death years ago, I was just going through the motions (so to speak) and being selfish when it came to my pleasure. Not listening to plea's for the one thing that was wanted... fantasised about and not happening... and I missed it.... How I missed it I'll never know.
Make sure youre listening, and maybe something you've missed will surface.
For me... the way to bed is all about feeling wanted and feeling desired, and yeah hell I like to be romanced too. Maybe a weekend break somewhere nice (Paris is the absoloute **** !!) a nice cosy hotel room and some time alone together away from home and real life.
Hope it all works, keep your love alive !!
2007-02-15 23:17:48 · answer #6 · answered by jlb.1970@btinternet.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Indulge in a very long foreplay. Be inventive and you'll be surprised to discover how many things will turn you guys on.
After that, you'll both look forward to the next time, to repeat the pleasures and find more new ones!
Good luck!
(Or "good lick", as the "poloceman" Crabtree off 'Allo 'Allo would say :-D )
2007-02-15 22:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him about it. It's not that uncommon, but communicating about it is important. If you're thinking it, he probably is as well, so get it out there in the open. You'll find out what he's thinking and know better what's happening.
2007-02-16 00:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by JW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do some of the things you used to do at the begining...ie places you used to go.....meals........etc etc
I have been with my husband 11 yrs now and you always have to work at it!!!!
Just remember how it used to be and go for it.
Best of luck
2007-02-15 22:43:41 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
like jamand said but try 4 or 5 at a time
2007-02-15 22:48:01 · answer #10 · answered by (",) JJ (,") 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋