For my husband everything I do is wrong,even when he makes a mistake he try to put the blame on me.When somebody admire something I had done he tries to take all the credit like he's done it.
any suggestion on how to deal with him?
2007-02-15 22:13:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ignore him,and tell him yes,yes,and do everything you want
2007-02-16 00:09:26 · answer #1 · answered by angele d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up and take charge of your life and self esteem. You seem like the kind of person that puts other first. Which is a nice trate, but actually might do some harm to your relationship. I you love your man, let him know all of you and show your agressive side. If you were meant to be, you will still be able to be independent, even of all wrong doing, and he will still be around. If he's only using u as pedastal, find something that will appreciate your dedication. Unfortunatelly, most people would not any way so grow some balls and tell him hes an @#$ hole and go wash some dishes.
2007-02-15 22:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by melisa 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, I'd have to ask how old you two are? :)
Usually in a young relationship, insecurity and lack of communication is a common thing. You're insecure about what he's doing, and the two of you are apparently NOT on the same page about what's going on. You should be able to sit down and have a one-on-one talk from time to time. Couples need it.
But like the other guy said, don't worry so much about where the credit or blame lies, or who's pointing fingers. People who see him doing that know better. And don't be afraid to stick up for yourself either. Don't just get mad, walk away, etc. Show some wit and make him look stupid when he does it. Eventually, it will stop!
2007-02-15 22:19:16 · answer #3 · answered by SirCharles 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i was married to a person like that for twenty years, so i can honestly say he is not going to change, and does not see the need to. people like that are self centred and selfish, they seem to feel they are more importantant then others, but what it really shows is an insecurity in who and what they are, and how they see themselives. you can confront them about it, but in most cases they will end up calling you a liar, and try to discredit you all over again. you have two choices accept them as they are, or move on. even when their conduct is exposed and proven beyond a reasonable doubt they will refuse to accept it. they have never taken responsiblity for their own actions and never willl. The only way to deal with it is to ignore it, if you continuely bring it up to them, it will fester and get worse, i saw it as a form of emotional abuse, and finally said i no longer loved her, because we had destoryed the love, she turned it around and said she did everything for me, had never done anything wrong, when i explained what she had done again, she came back with well i knew what your thoughts where, so did the thinking for you, it showed me then just how little she really thought about my feelings and needs.
2007-02-15 23:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by redsyoungstud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand that he's trying to control you. He's trying to tear down your self esteem to make you dependent on him for any feelings that are positive in nature. To claim credit for something he didn't do is a little strange. Maybe a way to declare publicly that he's in charge of everything(including you). Or maybe a way to nullify your work. Sounds like he definately has some issues.
2007-02-15 22:23:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same problem with my wife, aside from her trying to take credit that is not hers.
The problem lies within your spouses self esteem and will not be corrected on its own. It is highly doubtful that he will listen to you if you try to talk about the problem, because everything is your fault anyway. So, the way to trick him is to act as if the problem is yours and see if you can convince him to go to counseling with you and help you resolve "YOUR" problem.
It may work and it may not, if it does, then great. If not, then the only recourse may be to end the relationship and try to find happiness elsewhere.
2007-02-15 23:34:02 · answer #6 · answered by Steve T. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the people who say it's mental abuse. It is, and eventually his efforts are going to bring you down.
You must put an end to it asap. Ask him why he must be like this and tell him that if he doesn't change, he is going to lose you.
He's got serious issues.
I had a partner exactly like that - he was like an emotional vampire, trying to suck the life out of me. He just wouldn't let up, even though I tried talking to him about it - ...had to dump him.
2007-02-15 22:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by riffyxraff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its sounds like you husband is very controlling. You must stay strong and stick up for yourself. You must become independent and not let him work you like a puppet. Just do what you are doing and when these issues come up just remain calm and deep down inside you know what you did, it sounds to me like you may need counseling. Don't take it!!!
2007-02-16 01:05:17 · answer #8 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a form of mental abuse. he will tear you down if you let him get to you. the reason he does this is because of his own insecurities and this is how he makes himself feel better. its not a good thing. he takes all the credit because he doesn't want anyone to know how little he really does.
2007-02-15 22:30:11 · answer #9 · answered by kattz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just igniore that every body knows where the credit lies
honestly i am telling you
it make absolutely no difference
2007-02-15 22:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by Caring 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya, hears a thought, throw his pompus a-- out, who needs mr right all the time anyway? how do ya like me now?
2007-02-15 22:20:02 · answer #11 · answered by Billie R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋